Understanding The Layers Of Connection - The Four Stages of Attraction.

[NilsFlair]

 

I wanted to give you guys some of my insight into one of the layers of connection between you and the girl.

 

Namely the four stages of attraction.

 

We experience attraction on different levels, but it might not be so clear as to what it is that we actually feel for the girl, this becomes even more relevant when you start dating a girl and having fckbuddies etc.

 

Understanding this will help you greatly in making decisions with girls based on understanding and not desperately rushing things.

 

 

To get into it, the first stage of attraction is the Physical/Sexual stage.

 

Now this is what most people will think about when they think about attraction between men and women. But attraction means more than just the physical. We can be attracted on many different levels.

 

However this is an important factor when it comes to talking to and meeting girls for the purpose of sexual relations.

 

It’s raw, primal, and a very strong form of attraction. Your genes are telling you “Hey buddy! that’s a great mating opportunity”, hormones are flooding, you feel horny, you want her sexually!

 

It’s the most obvious factor when it comes to talking to a girl for the first time, in a club or in the day. 

 

You can also judge it quite well in advance simply by observing her. Is this a girl you find sexually attractive or not? Would you sleep with her?

 

Albeit a powerful drive it is also the form of attraction that fades the fastest. It’s unlikely that it will fade in a one night stand, but if you keep seeing the girl for a longer period you might see that the sexual attraction you felt for her in the beginning starts to fade (or at least fluctuate quite heavily).

 

 

And that brings me to the second stage of attraction which is the Emotional stage.

 

This is also a quite powerful stage, if you reach this level of attraction the first time you meet a girl you will see that it feels like you’ve known each other for years.

 

You feel very comfortable around each other and you tend to focus on each other almost exclusively.

 

Applying Primal Honesty to let go of your emotional resistance can often bring about this form of attraction very effectively.

 

I’ve seen it 100s of times, a student expresses his blockages and reaches a point of greater emotional acceptance, and as a result the girl sees who he really is on an emotional level, which instantly pulls her into the experience and she let’s go of whatever blocks her.

They now feel like they’ve known each other for years.

 

It can really be a magical experience when it happens to you the first times, by simply having the experience you will instantly understand more about human nature in relation to emotions and connection.

 

Now, I have to emphasize that expressing your blockages for the outcome of creating emotional attraction can and most likely will backfire very hard on who ever tries it due to the underlying expectation that it creates.

 

The approach to take instead is to express your blockages with the orientation of greater self-acceptance and emotional embrace.

 

Nevertheless emotional attraction is Powerful, you become positive feedback loops for each others emotions and if it builds strong enough, for a period of time, it can develop into love. 

 

The combination of strong sexual and emotional attraction often leads to fast pulls and high quality experience one night stands.      

 

But even this can also fade quite fast. The openness and acceptance of each other might not last when you start to hangout more, you see sides you don’t like, and vice versa, you start to unconsciously create blockages and resistance towards each other, blocking the positive emotional aspects of your relationship. This can happen with both fckbuddies and relationships.

If all you liked was the sexual part and how she made you feel, it is a more fragile relation and it’s easy for things to go wrong. Sometimes it can even change from the first time you meet to the second time, you felt so connected yet the second time you don’t, and after you feel like there is no point in seeing her again.

 

 

This is where the third stage of attraction becomes more relevant, the intellectual stage.

 

This stage is a more subtle one, it does not appear as intensely as the sexual one or the emotional one, but rather it’s something that usually grows over time.

 

It can happen very quickly as well, it’s when your intellectual minds connect, you like the way that she thinks, you like the way she conceptualizes things, you are attracted to her mental self.

 

Intellectual attraction has many facets and it’s the form of attraction that can leverage itself quite well over time.

 

Pick up conditioning will often overlook this form of attraction and maybe not even understand that it’s possible to develop. Seeing all forms of long term relationships as a waste of time at best. Maintaining this way of thinking will limit you greatly in terms of the quality of your experience with women.

 

Intellectual attraction is often found in healthy long term relationships, it is becomes a steady foundation that the relationship can rest on if the sexual or emotional interests fluctuates.

 

It can even create an environment that promotes all types of healthy behaviors around each other that supports individual growth and the growth of the relationship as a whole.

 

It can also help remove blockages and improve both the sexual and emotional interest in each other.

 

If well established, this form of attraction will take a long time to fade. And it might even stay after breaking up, promoting a healthy break up where you stay friends afterwards.

 

It’s more rare to experience this form of attraction the first time that you meet someone (it happens sometimes), it’s usually developed overtime by getting to know the girl on a deeper level, seeing how she thinks and how her mind operates.

 

 

But this is not the final form of attraction, the final form is the intuitive stage.

 

The intuitive form of attraction can both be subtle and intense, but is almost always characterized as the sense that you both just know that you are great for each other. 

 

It’s not on the level of emotion, it’s a deeper sense, something that hits you on all levels, physical, emotional, intellectual and even energetically.

 

It’s a phenomena that is hard to explain how and why it occurs, but it’s something that is available to experience.

 

Part of the explanation for this could be that your subconscious and her subconscious are open at the right time and connects on so many points that this deep sense of attraction floods your perception.

 

Characteristics of this form of attraction can sometimes seem to good to be true, examples could be that you find each other endlessly interesting, deep sense of trust, no jealousy, you always feel connected even when you are apart, you don’t need alone time from each other.

 

Now this is an intense form of attraction and there are many guys who have felt like this at one time, but given the intensity, emotional blockages and resistance came up and the subconscious belief “I am not enough” got activated. This in turn triggered thoughts and beliefs that this is too good to be true, which then pushed the girl and the situation away.

 

But since intuitive attraction is a commonly reported experience by many people in the world, it does exist, and it must certainly exist for a purpose (all of these forms of attraction exist to serve specific purposes since they were created by evolution).

 

Last thing to add about these stages is that I want you guys to become more aware of them in your experience, not think how you can attain them as fast as possible, since that might actually push them further away from you.

 

Know that all of these forms of attraction exists and allow yourself to connect to them.

 

- Nils Flair

Edited October 4, 2019 by NilsFlair

[Consilience]

How important is timing when it comes to these stages of attraction? Let’s say I meet and start out as friends with a girl that but when we first meet, she’s dating someone so you of course could only be friends. So then there’s this foundation of friendship that’s been built overtime. But nonetheless there are forms of attraction there. 

Essentially, if the timing is off and friendship sinks in, are these attraction stages ultimately dampened because of poor timing? 

[arlin]

Hey man, this info is really curious. Where can i find more of it? 

Also i have a question. 

Do we need 4 of them to have a successful relationship? 

[NilsFlair]

@Consilience  I depends if she has categorized you as only a friend in her mind or if she has categorized you as a friend but that could lead to something else.

The nature of your friendship will essentially determine if and how much of these stages of attraction gets hindered.

@arlin  You can find out more about this general information on my company's youtube channel called Social Prime Dating, or in our facebook group called Social Prime

[arlin]

@NilsFlair thank you