I tasted pure insanity/psychosis on an accidental trip (WARNING)

[The White Belt]

So two nights ago I was meditating.

When my alarm went off my mind was so concentrated that I just let it ring.

And it rang on and on whilst I just stared out at the wall. The sounds of the alarm washed over me and things began to get sinister... Dark.

My thoughts were stacking on top of eachother. The walls melted around me. All I could do was sit perfectly still and stare out, no signs of movement. 

My mind said "I've gone insane... Totally insane". It felt like it for sure.

I managed to lay myself down. I started a self inquiry. I thought i'd make the most of the insanity. My sensory fields (all of them) started to be distinct from my awareness. It was no-self, dipping in and out. But it didn't feel good. I still felt utterly insane.

I slept it off. I woke up with the worse dry mouth i've ever had. I still felt very high. Like i'd smoked two joints a minute ago. I felt sick and I looked in the mirror to two total red eyes. 

I thought to myself "If i've had a spiritual awakening then why the nausea, why the red eyes?" 

I hadn't taken anything... Or had I?

Then I remembered nutmeg. The day before I was seeking a natural relief for haemmoroids. It said NUTMEG helps and so I bought some. 

I didn't check again how much I needed to take once I had bought it. But whats the worse that can happen... 

I had a tablespoon in some water, and again three hours later about an hour before that meditation.

I googled 'NUTMEG HIGH'. It turns out that taking so much can produce a hullucinagenic high, and a psychotic episode.

So I walked to the doctors who reffered me to accident and emergency and I had to get tests to ensure I wasn't posioned.

I had to wait it off and I felt high the whole day. 

I had just come off a meditation retreat too where I had a frightening breakthrough so this probably exaggerating the effects of the nutmeg. 

 

I'm writing this to warn you all and tell you how I came down safely.

Firstly using METTA A.K.A Loving-Kindness. 

Buddha didn't do this for kicks, you need to give yourself lots of love when you're going through something so horrible.

Talk to someone. Especially someone who trips. An experiences tripper helped calm me even if just over text.

Do some shit you like doing, be lazy whilst your coming down of the experience.

Relax your body and let go of thoughts or they will spiral. 

 

Of course let this serve as a warning for Nutmeg. I had no clue and even the doctors didn't know it could happen until I told them I googled it and then they searched on their databases. 

Also spirituality in general, just go slowly, persistently, and know when to stop. Insanity/psychosis is not fun. This may be the most frightening experience i've ever been through but thankfully, i'm okay! 

Edited April 26, 2019 by The White Belt

[Rilles]

Nutmeg is toxic in higher doses. Be very very careful (in hindsight) Glad you’re doing better. ??

[The White Belt]

@Rilles thank you. I got all the tests necessary to make sure I wasn’t poisoned. They said I just had to wait for the high to wear off. It’s been two days.. still feel slightly ropey but I’m all good!