Financial Independence

[Privet]

My spartan living turned unimaginably impractical lately. I'm sick as fuck of how much it limits me everywhere from health improvement to entertainment.

Several days ago I worked one day as a carwasher, I was so desperate when I was on my way home because I struggle with very severe depression and that amount of stress was too much for my current body capability. It seeded the idea of becoming financially independent in me and today I realized some limiting beliefs that hold me back. Wasting too much time for low-payed jobs is just a ridiculous bunch of nonsense. I'm done with this idealistic spiritual la-la land and waiting for my calling to come to me while completely ignoring important needs. I don't feel as much drive towards the Truth at the moment, at least this is what my inner guru tells me.

So I set a goal: to establish basic financial independence by the end of 2019.

What do I mean by financial independence?

Well, this is difficult question, and figuring out this question is the goal of this week. I don't know how much should I aim for because I don't know what is required in terms of the amount of work, what opportunities the industry can offer with my level of capability and how much am I willing to do.

But I know some general guidelines of what I want.

Lowly:

• around $500 a month, this will cover my basic needs, I'm lucky enough to live only with one relative in separate room who doesn't bother me
• working 3 days a week
• working from home

More ambitious, but still realistic (?):

• $1000 a month and moving to another city somewhere on the south of Russia where there's more sunlight (or, maybe, other country? good question...)
• working 3 days a week
• working from home

Why this endeavor may fail:

• Threat: I will get burnt out again.
• Solution: Tracking overwork and experimenting with the pace.
•  
• Threat: Seasonal fluctuations of depression/hypomania and kundalini syndrome.
• Solution: Accountability partnership. Making healing from depression (with diet, hopefully) №1 priority.
•  
• Threat: My pace will be too slow because of a part time job that I have to work.
• Solution: There's no fix to that except constantly checking new jobs for a better one. Job market is not endless.
•  
• Threat: I won't be brave enough to engage in stuff that takes more responsibility for the sake of profit, like leading a team or something.
• Solution: Get ready to fail and make a leap of faith, it will work somehow, maybe not from the first attempt, love thyself goddamit. Make sure that I don't limit myself with the belief that I am not assertive enough.

Goals for this week:

• Figure out the market and decide what I aim for. Concrete result: list of goals for education.
• Finish a book, write out main ideas and come up with exercises.
• Look for work and make calls.
• Notify my accountability partner about this.
• Avoid the forum till Sunday.
• No binge surfing till the end of the day.
• Intense unconditional self-love no mater how much I "fuck up". Baby steps, alarming kiddo, baby steps.