Anyone Experience Something Similar?

[round3]

its like a phase, weed will trigger this for me almost everytime but can also happen without it
feels like this tension in the room that just keeps building, I cant get myself to open up or speak
cant really interact with anyone at this point, if I speak I stutter alot.
and I will stay almost completely silent and not say anything unless someone asks me a question or whatever

its hard to explain what im thinking about, but im trying to figure something out
it feels as if I figure it out there will be an instant relief of this anxiety which keeps building up
what I keep thinking about is why Im stressed out, not sure maybe social anxiety, ashamed, shy. all of these?
I have lost my mind? in a way Im so busy with these thoughts in my head that I cant really do anything else/ process other information
I just feel this tension in the air and the urge to speak, but I never do. I just keep thinking harder about it
I feel like im stuck in my thoughts, frozen, cant decide what to do next
I keep trying to just drop it, but I cant stop the thoughts
I feel very stuck and as if Im thinking in circles, some kind of a loop
sometimes I will start to find it quite funny.. and almost break out of it
I feel very uncomfortable, I feel embarrased for it
and always keep thinking the way I 'come off' or the way others see me, and deep in my thoughts (cant get into the present moment)

I dont know.. probably drugs really messing with my head.
anyway I have had enough and quit everything now, been a few days so will see if anything triggers this phase for me from now on

sorry I dont know how much sense this makes if any, its the best I can do trying to remember it now. even tho I have been trough this many times
Im not going to read it over now, I would probably change my mind on posting this here

[Henri]

@round3 To me it sounds you have some blockades in your energy system or pranayamakosha.

You need some cleaning up work to do.

Look for a teacher who can teach you some pranayamas with some breathing techniques.

Remember; you can`t solve mind problems from the level of the mind. You need to go deeper and you`ll be fine.   

[Teags]

I get something very similar in social situations, if I'm in groups or meeting new people. It triggers panic attacks and i end up in tears and embarrassing myself. I've always put it down to very low self esteem and caring too much about what people think. I've smoked weed too and it brings it on even worse so I avoid the drug. I've been practising mindfulness and meditation it seems to take the edge off but it's still there. 

 

[round3]

@Henri yeah, I think maybe I will give it a try if I can find a teacher like this. thanks for advice

[Henri]

@round3

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