My Path to Enlightenment

[JKG]

I am a 16 year old student from Germany on the path to enlightenment. Here I want to summarise my few insights I have in my meditations.

Who is conscious? I asked that myself today while meditating. I went through my body and looked what there really is. Is there a conscious being in the body? I began with the lower body and torso. There is definitely no conscious being, just many sensations. As I went up it became harder. In normal life I feel that there in my throat and head might be something controlling me. This feeling of breathing in and out makes me fell this and thoughts arising from the centre of my brain. Today I looked and came to the conclusion that there still is nothing other than sensation in my whole body.

When I concentrate on the sensations it feels like there is no body, only points of sensations. As if there are points in a three-dimensional coordinate system, and the middle of my head is around the origin. But then when I open my eyes there comes another coordinate system into play. Like a 3d flat screen in front of this three-dimensional coordinate system. And then also sound and weird thoughts. So there are many coordinate systems on one another but nothing that is conscious of it.

I got some thoughts that maybe the conscious being of those sensation is the space around the coordinate systems. Is this what is called awareness / mindfulness?

 

[JKG]

I tried to sit down, shut up, and ask myself what's true until 'I' know.

What is true? Maybe sight, sound, sensation? Yeah, these things seem true. Oh shit, just my mind is coming up with these answers. I have to look in experience what is true. So is sight true? No, sight is just a word in my mind. The actual sensation is just there, maybe it is true. But the word in my mind is also true. The thought 'sight' is a sensation. The only false thing is the concept behind the thought 'sight'.

Is the table there true? Mhm, there is just a visual sensation of a brown thing. The table isn't true, the table is a concept. The seeing of the table is true.

Is being free from concepts enlightenment?

[JKG]

I tried to do a one hour strong determination sitting together with do nothing. Not consciously moving worked well, but I had to swallow my saliva three times. And its funny when the body want to burp on its one, while I want to not move, and keep my mouth closed...

Since this forum was published I always think while doing do nothing about writing here posts about my meditation... why?

 

Why are concepts not true? They have to come from somewhere. I hear my mother walking down the stairs and is doing something in the next room. The sounds I hear are real, true. But just the sounds, not the concept that my mother is doing something there, not even that my mother is doing it. The concept itself is false. And what is about the concept in my mind? There was certainly thoughts and images of my mother in my mind. Is that true or false? It is true, the concept as stuff in the mind is true.

[Guest]

You find yourself in a world of apparent reality. 
You see a body, yours, other bodies, walls, tables, buildings, animals, sky, trees, and an entire world that you experience in various ways.  

But as you have noticed, something sees all of this. 
There is an observer who sees this.

Can it be that the observer, the watcher is seeing itself as various manifestations of consciousness? 
Can it be that everything is just consciousness in essence,
        and its nature is to "play" as a phenomenal manifestation of universe,
        and everything that is in it.

Even the spaces between appearances are manifestations. 
All of this is seen.

joy

 

 

[JKG]

19 hours ago, walt said:

Can it be that the observer, the watcher is seeing itself as various manifestations of consciousness?

Can it be that everything is just consciousness in essence,
        and its nature is to "play" as a phenomenal manifestation of universe,
        and everything that is in it.

Am I my surroundings, am I the table, the wall, the sounds? Am I everything, Am I consciousness?

I somehow can understand this but just intellectually. I am not able yet to dig that deep in meditation / self-inquiry to create experience of it. There are thoughts all the time which are distracting me. When I ask myself a question and try to find answers in experience there comes a thought up and my consciousness is away. One or two minutes later I somehow become conscious again and think "shit, I wanted to do self-inquiry". This happens all the time.

If I could stop the thoughts somehow, I could eventually dive deeper. But no meditation technique works.

[Guest]

The intellect can be a springboard for vaulting, for making sort of a quantum leap in understanding where we actually have to leave the mechanism of intellect behind.

The following might help - but it is still a concept - still intellectual.

Thinking of this from a scientific point of view - everything is based on energy.   In the final analysis everything is made of energy.
By the way,  even science does not actually know what energy is.  Basically the definition is :  ENERGY IS.

From the point of view of ENERGY IS, anything one points to is the same, i.e. energy.  Consciousness can be understood as a sort of universal energy, but not really.  Even energy is a manifestation in/of consciousness.  Consciousness is prior to anything science can theorize.  However, science does not want to go there, science deals only in the realm of what can be observed, weighed and measured - in other words, data and information related to the 5 physical senses.  That is why there is a science of the physical called PHYSICS.  But you probably already know all this.

So, the major hindrance in becoming awake to what is, is related to the mental habit of conceptualization.  That is to say that the mind is in the habit of imagining how reality works or how it is.  Mind/thought deals only in data obtained by the five physical senses, and then this information is categorized, organized and manipulated into a theory to represent reality based on the sensual data.   That, however, is NOT reality, it is the pseudo reality of mind.

Wise men (women) over millennia have worked out methods for delving into the illusionary representations of thought and for working with and using thought itself, specifically the "I-thought" in one particular method, to sort of 'zap' the mental processes, to stun them for a moment and lift the veil of ignorance (not knowing) that thoughts impose.  When that ignorance is removed, there is a clarity, a new appreciation of life.

Of course, we cannot stay in that state exclusively.  We must return to our senses, literally - but the data coming through those senses no longer mislead us (can no longer maintain the veil of ignorance, so to speak).   There is a 'knowing' a certain 'knowledge' of being one, not separate from life, consciousness, whatever.

That is as close as I can come to it at the moment. 

Other ways are available: a poem by Rumi for example -

This we have NOW
      is not imagination.
This is not grief or joy
      not a judging state,
      or an elation or sadness --
Those come and go.
This is the PRESENCE
      that doesn't!

                                                             - Rumi

Joy

 

 

 

[Walter B]

1 hour ago, walt said:

The intellect can be a springboard for vaulting, for making sort of a quantum leap in understanding where we actually have to leave the mechanism of intellect behind.

The following might help - but it is still a concept - still intellectual.

Thinking of this from a scientific point of view - everything is based on energy.   In the final analysis everything is made of energy.
By the way,  even science does not actually know what energy is.  Basically the definition is :  ENERGY IS.

From the point of view of ENERGY IS, anything one points to is the same, i.e. energy.  Consciousness can be understood as a sort of universal energy, but not really.  Even energy is a manifestation in/of consciousness.  Consciousness is prior to anything science can theorize.  However, science does not want to go there, science deals only in the realm of what can be observed, weighed and measured - in other words, data and information related to the 5 physical senses.  That is why there is a science of the physical called PHYSICS.  But you probably already know all this.

So, the major hindrance in becoming awake to what is, is related to the mental habit of conceptualization.  That is to say that the mind is in the habit of imagining how reality works or how it is.  Mind/thought deals only in data obtained by the five physical senses, and then this information is categorized, organized and manipulated into a theory to represent reality based on the sensual data.   That, however, is NOT reality, it is the pseudo reality of mind.

Wise men (women) over millennia have worked out methods for delving into the illusionary representations of thought and for working with and using thought itself, specifically the "I-thought" in one particular method, to sort of 'zap' the mental processes, to stun them for a moment and lift the veil of ignorance (not knowing) that thoughts impose.  When that ignorance is removed, there is a clarity, a new appreciation of life.

Of course, we cannot stay in that state exclusively.  We must return to our senses, literally - but the data coming through those senses no longer mislead us (can no longer maintain the veil of ignorance, so to speak).   There is a 'knowing' a certain 'knowledge' of being one, not separate from life, consciousness, whatever.

That is as close as I can come to it at the moment. 

Other ways are available: a poem by Rumi for example -

This we have NOW
      is not imagination.
This is not grief or joy
      not a judging state,
      or an elation or sadness --
Those come and go.
This is the PRESENCE
      that doesn't!

                                                             - Rumi

Joy

 

 

 

How about the facts of how energy transfers all over changing forms as it propagates. However, the fact that quantum was in my mind with some of the first comments. And the most likely way for us to share energy would be via satellite or a friend of ours who had recently traveled to the respective land. Meaning quantum and I are not swapping particles as we breath! Or even eating food from the same places. But during the meditation a part of me (and others)  has been described by quantum.

That is one way I view God. As a universal "energy" that naturally has a tendency based on what "is best for us". At all levels.Best for me. Best for quantum. Best for the city. Best for the country. Best for the globe. We as humans  are but a mere imperfect manifestation of this unerring natural law of sorts that we call God. But even this can't describe the majesty of it all. The origin and the intelligence of something seemingly non-existent. Everywhere and nowhere...except when we have an enlightening experience as quantum has described. But that was just a glimpse! 

Is this how Santa knows who's naughty or nice! Lol. Or more particularly, how God knows all and sees all. Bc it is God ultimately, but there are seemingly infinite levels of awareness and understanding between even earth and the sky. This whole universe perhaps has no end. Imagine the possibilities ahead of us as humans. Created in that image. With sooo much potential to explore that universe!

Do you remember the comets of 2013 and 2015. It felt unfamiliar but it had force. Everything that has been known by something carries that essence. At least for a time. Understanding spinal and cerebral fluid and electrical, chemical, and nervous transfers in physiology just shows us the "human model" of our universe. Imo

Also, in sept2015, I believe. We got our first reading of a gravity wave resulting from 2 black holes combining far away!!! But the detection device on earth picked it up as the wave traveled through earth at that time!!! It was in USA today recently. 

Just think of the locker in MIB where the aliens inside have their own world. Well just never forget we are in a mighty big universe! So when larger things happen from time to time, they can be perceived as Biblical. And well, they are. The miracles happen every day. But lots have happened recently. It makes me wonder how many perceived how fast all that happened and how it affected the ones that knew what was going on. We don't get a choice. We just have to submit and follow a thing like that. Even if it takes our lives. But some of us survive. Unlike the man named Jesus in the bible. However, it was much like that this time. It is a parable to teach an example and remembrance.

Also, see in USA today just today a story about peace between the Russian orthodox Leader and the Pope. There has not been this since 1054!!!! It was sincere. Look how vibrant and full of life the Pope was for instance.! He's such a kind man. I like him.

Edited February 13, 2016 by Pyrrhocorax graculus
Content

[Guest]

@Pyrrhocorax graculus You will note that I prefaced my analogy saying:

10 minutes ago, Pyrrhocorax graculus said:

The following might help - but it is still a concept - still intellectual.

and later on it was clarified:

10 minutes ago, Pyrrhocorax graculus said:

Consciousness can be understood as a sort of universal energy, but not really.  Even energy is a manifestation in/of consciousness.

Sorry, I failed to mention that I am not an expert in science per academia, but do dabble in scientific ideas of academia.

joy

 

Edited February 13, 2016 by walt
clarification

[Walter B]

38 minutes ago, walt said:

@Pyrrhocorax graculus You will note that I prefaced my analogy saying:

and later on it was clarified:

Sorry, I failed to mention that I am not an expert in science per academia, but do dabble in scientific ideas of academia.

joy

 

And I was being more supportive and was directing myself to quantum while writing. But I'm relatively new to the "smartphone". 

And sometimes it just puts my comments where it wants!!! Hehe

Oh my. I love your content Walt! Science or not. I'm filling it where I can!

I'm trying to learn how to communicate again frankly. It's been a tough past few years.

[Guest]

Yes, thanks.  I've been in your shoes before.  I used to talk the quantum thing a lot.  I think that I both bored and upset many people.
I was trying the convince people on the authority of science.  But that obviously does not really work.  It is a side issue that sometimes
fits in nicely with people who like that area of thought.

I am not perfect.  Can't even win most of the back-and-forths with my spouse.  Have to be very careful on how I word what I wish to convey.

Thank you for your kind comments.

joy

 

[JKG]

I've been thinking of trying to do a late night sitting this night. I just don't go to bed and stay up for a few hours and meditate. I'll have to sacrifice a few hours of sleep, but I'll handle that.

In the evening I normally get into a really relaxed and happy state. When I then meditate for more than an hour remarkable things might happen. My thoughts could stop, I could have a few insights, or surrender with reality, my surroundings, perceive the being of energy, consciousness... Normally I meditate around 5pm. At this time I am not able to relax this much, there is still noise around the house and dinner is around 6 or 7pm ready. I couldn't meditate as long as I want to.

I will report my experience tomorrow.

[JKG]

Last night my mind came up with excuses why I shouldn't meditate in the night. After an hour of strong determination sitting I quitted and slept in almost immediately. I was a little bit tiered but had no unusual experiences. It is just hard not to move while the body wants to yawn.

I think having long meditations in the morning might be more effective. Waking up at 4am, having a cold shower and meditating for three hours... I will do this tomorrow morning.

Edited February 15, 2016 by quantum

[JKG]

Today I watched a video from Matt Kahan. It was kind of mind blowing. I should have known all this stuff about relaxation already. But firstly a short story:

When I was a child, maybe 8 years old, I got my first Nintendo DS. I played with it a lot, especially Pokemon and Animal Crossing for a few hours every day. I was a bit addicted to it. But with the time I got became kind of nervous. It was a disturbance inside my head. As a result I constantly had to blink with my eyes. I couldn't suppress it. I just had to blink all the time. I hated it and it was a constant strain. It is the opposite of relaxation.

Somewhen I stopped playing so much games this blinking slowly stopped a few months later too. This was a great relief. But as soon as I started again playing at the Nintento DS or later being at a computer or any kind of monitor, this blinking started again. Later the blinking got replaced by other strange movements.

Now I am again in a phase of strange movements, and I know that they are called tics. Currently my tics are moving my jaw, frowning, wiggling with my ears, moving my mouth, and contracting muscles in my back and neck. A few weeks ago I started to spent too many hours in front of my computer. Another trigger now is hearing too much music. Slow and gentle music is ok, but not the normal stuff in the mainstream or any kind of music which is just a bit fast. It is making me so nervous.

 

Firstly spending less time in front of monitors is for me a remedy from the tics. Also hearing no or just relaxing music, and of course meditation.

Everytime I end my meditation and go out of my room, I hear music in the house. I hate it, because it gets me out of this state of relaxation. Also my family annoys me in this time when they speak to my in a not relaxing way.

Now I consciously know that relaxation brings me more in alignment, and more towards enlightenment. I should stop spending many hours with monitors, mobile phones and music around me. I love it when every device is turned of and I am just offline. I naturally want to be relaxed, my nervous unconscious mind is telling me it.

I also want to start working on being more relaxed throughout my day. It might be hard in school with so many unconscious people.

[Leo Gura]

Doing good! Keep going.

Next time you sit down, you might try this:

Get the most truest sense of yourself possible. What do you REALLY believe you most are? Forget all the books and videos. Right now, point to the thing you think is actually you. Could be the body, the head, the face, the inner voice, ...whatever.

And right after you do that, ask yourself, "What is experiencing this sensation I believe is me?" and "What is experiencing the experience of me?"

Try to get a sense that who you presently believe you are is actually an experience, and that this experience is no different than the experience of a lamp or a tree or a coffee table. But who or what is experiencing the experience?

If you're the one experiencing stuff, then how come you believe you are an experience?

[abrakamowse]

That's awesome, it gives me pointers to where to go with my meditation. 

I am actually trying not to conceptualize anything, but is really hard. Thanks for sharing!

[JKG]

In the last days I had not that much time to meditate properly because of school stuff. Today I managed to meditate normally.

Where am I? What am I? This thing behind my eyes, in my skull feels like an 'I'. There all the thinking goes on. But 'I' could also be in my throat. This feeling of breathing feels also like an 'I'. The thing I think 'I' am is definitely somewhere around my head. But all of this are just sensations. Am 'I' a sensation? Am 'I' this sensation of thinking in my upper brain? or what? I have no idea.

Then my mind started to create concepts: If 'I' am a sensation, and a sensation is energy / consciousness, 'I' am just energy and consciousness. In normal life the 'I' is centred inside the head. All the sensations and different ideas / thoughts (which are essentially also sensations) come together and create the illusion of the 'I'.