Can you relate?

[Dan94]

Right now I meditate an hour a day. I do daily kriya, self-enquiry and HB once a week as well.

For the past three months (especially) I have literally been feeling like a permanent 6th day on a vipassana course. Whenever I meditate and work on my LP, wake up, take a nap etc. I literally shake in frustration, confusion, despair, anxiety. My mind is all over the place and now I have been really mindful of how much I feel the urge to stop everything and distract my self - all the time. I have become conscious of how perfectionistic I am and that I need to work on some beliefs as well. I'm completely drained without having done anything really. Everything I do is soaped in massive resistance.

Can you relate and how did you persevere? This feels like forever now.

Daniel

 

[PsiloPutty]

Our darkest hours come just before dawn. It does sound like you're doing quite a lot of actualization work, so you might have to take it down a notch, but I'd say stick with the practice for the most part and ride this wave out. I'm no expert though, and I do know what you're talking about. My own practice has gone through ups and downs with motivation and frustration, but always comes out of it.