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How To Start My New Beginning

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Hello! I am 22 years of age and am weary of lunging into just any books/hobbies/habits, that spark my interest as I know I am at a cross-roads; what I mean by this is that if I were to start reading a paticular book then I worry that I would then in turn start reading another book that takes my fancy, instead of maybe being more methodical the my approach of what is essentially my rebirth; an example of this is, if I want to play the guitar at some point in my life, then why would I wait until I'm 35 and thus struggle more to learn it then etc. Gratefully, I do know the facets of life I value. What I am describing is almost like having this framework of, fitness/good nutrition, mindfulness/meditation, writing (as this covers films/comedy/rap), being able to speak loquaciously and articulately, develop ideas well (have improved quality of visualizations), have a well-balanced framework of knowledge like most smart people do so I can move into any area I want, then obviously putting it all into action, restructuring, using the scientific method in life (living in the moment). All these different things that I know conceptual parts of... Yet if I don't choose to focus on speed reading now for example (even though I've started it), then I would be holding it off because it is not my immediate focus. There are many others things like this, and there is definitely a mailable way where I can do all the different things I want to do in my week which can help me grow as a full tree rather than branch by branch if you catch my drift, I just don't want to have any regrets... 

I've encapsulated a lot here I know, I just fear that I will miss out on doing things that I want to because I didn't start developing those habits in the places that helped me be, for lack of a better word, a renaissance man. Even stuff like maths, if I don't commit to it now, I'm screwed in getting anywhere with it that's at a good level. Due to serious depression, I'm not exactly at a great level right now with the basic 'doing' human parts, but what I do have is great structuralism, and of recent, my ego which I once was immersed in has died quite some, due to learning that love/acceptance really is the is law of the universe. What I do fear is that this thing I'm writing about is too pedantic, and that it is the same kind of ingrained problem which was much of the crux of my ego that held me from acting for so long, this not being able to move into the unknown, needing to see too much of the big picture; I really haven't acted on my life at all, I've de constructed (without having loads of knowledge due to not reading loads), and understand how a successful life must work. Basically my question is, do you think I should organize all the baseline things that an ideal human should have, and do them all as part of a mailable habit system though out a week, without being too rigid as that doesn't work? Or do you think that some kind of idealization of what I want is more important, and much of it following my subconscious as I do know the big picture of how I want to grow; beginning the task, learning the basics, speed reading, mindfulness, world history, one by one e.g. learning to speed read before reading a 1000 page book. The universe is not finite, I know that, how much of a part do you feel this plays in doing the things you want, do I create the habits or do they create themselves, do I just not want to begin? I haven't 'lived' enough, I am that bad kind of version of a lazy home-bird. I hope you understand me, I'm not the best writer.

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16 minutes ago, Thesis said:

I just fear that I will miss out on doing things that I want to because

@Thesis

16 minutes ago, Thesis said:

 

I know it might sound crazy but stop reading any of your books and concentrate on understanding and letting go of all your fears. You will see how much more benefits you'll get from it...and yes to do so no need to read long books, find a practical video and practice.

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@Thesis  You discovered 3 areas that you want to develop. Great, work on those. That will keep you busy for awhile...

 Learn time management, goal-setting and results-making (leo's vids has advice on these.) These skill will help you learn others more efficiently.

 


What you resist, persists and less of you exists. There is a part of you that never leaves. You are not in; you have never been. You know. You put it there and time stretches. 

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