Reaction To Random Insight #1

[AdamDiC]

@Leo Gura Daaaaaaamn Leo. You got me right in heart. Checkmate.

Fear is mind. It's ego and thought. Truth is right NOW where the only thing that exists is your surroundings. Stop projecting onto your world. It is what it is.

I learned this on a 10 day Vipassana retreat. After 7 days of torture and pain and resisting I had a moment of surrender, and just like you said fear melted away and a deep sense of love set in. So deep it brought me to tears and stayed with me for the next few months. 

But I did not nurture it the loving surrender. I resisted it, I fell into fear, I am in fear. Surrender is so ego reducing, I fear crying infront of people. Life is so beautiful sometimes i feel like crying all the time. But because no one i live with feels this passion it makes me feel guilty for harbouring these spiritual truths. I feel shame for feeling amazing when people are suffering. So I ignore it, i stop having fun, and I suffer.

I know that is not the way, it may be low Self-esteem or a lack of wisdom to keep surrendring in my life. I'm 18, my biggest struggle is to create a healthy relationship with my parents. I want to love them, i want to spend time with them, I want to be real with them but i'm terrified of the fact that i'd cry, that i'd shatter the illusion of me being mature, and stable. I'm not. No one is stable or grounded or found. 

Surrender all fear and hatred eh? Fuck me, that sounds so nice...

 

[Leo Gura]

@AdamDiC For 18, you're doing awesome! Just keep taking baby steps.

Start a Kriya Yoga practice. It will help you enormously with embodiment.

[AdamDiC]

@Leo Gura

Thanks Leo. Embodiment is what i feel I am lacking. I am lacking integrity within my life.

But really? Kriya? i honestly don't know anything about it but I feel like i should trust you here. Should I watch your video on Yoga and buy the yoga books from your book list? 

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, AdamDiC said:

Should I watch your video on Yoga and buy the yoga books from your book list?

Yup

[AdamDiC]

lolololololol ok

[iamme]

@AdamDiC Surrender is nonsense. I too had a wish to surrender when I was 21..  tried really hard for way too many years and I failed Of course I did, no one can ever truly surrender :)) 

Do inquiry: surrender what and to whom? Who gave you the belief that you should surrender? Could they really do it? 

What if you replace the word "surrender" with "letting go" and apply it to all your false beliefs? What are your false beliefs? How do you let go of them? What is beneath your false beliefs programming? Now that's something worth investigating! 

What about if it feels bad, if it bothers you, if it's not win-win for every character in the play, consider it false and drop it. By simply labelling what is false as false, you drop it away automatically. 

P.S. Don't force yourself to love your parents. That's a tough nut to crack so let them be. Start with your beliefs about smaller matters and when you're freer and more experienced, investigate the beliefs you hold about your parents. Meanwhile, be civil to them and respect their right to not be changed. They are what they are, let them be and focus on yourself. 

[AdamDiC]

@iamme

12 minutes ago, iamme said:

Do inquiry: surrender what and to whom? Who gave you the belief that you should surrender? Could they really do it? 

I'm surrendering my thoughts, judgements, and ego to the present moment. (God?) I surrender it to my sense perceptions, which sounds a bit wierd should contemplate that. But I don't think it's a belief, I've just become more aware of my thoughts and emotions that i have taken responsability for them. 

Thanks for the questions will contemplate.