Why has my level of conciousness decreased?

[student]

Consciousness can not decrease. "Higher consciousness" is felt when you naturally see the external, the world with another eyes. You can not catch consciousness and bring it to you, you can not force it, you can not schedule it to increase at that date at that time, it will just get "higher" by its own. You just need to continue to have activities that will increase it, like : your life purpose, meditation, enjoying silence, trying to know another person etc. The activities depends on the individual and what he enjoys. By doing an activity mechanically you will just feel that something isn't right and you will eventually give up.  The increasing of consciousness involves a long road, full of lies, delusions and inauthenticity. But these things can easily be seen for what they are if you just return to your real self at the end of the day.

[Faceless]

1 hour ago, JediArron said:

When you wrote the above sentence, I think you are referring to the general interest in the mind, the nature of thought, and enlightenment.

All that minus achieving the idea of “enlightenment”..striving for enlightenment is the reason it won’t happen. 

 

1 hour ago, JediArron said:

However, what I am referring to is what he mentions in the video. I am interested in enlightenment, but I don't know if I have had enough suffering (I feel like I have not had a happy life so far, though, I'm 23) to allow my mind to be aware of my thoughts (which is one of the many meditative exercises I can do), and therefore, for the first few days I'm quite intense and aware, however, eventually, it feels as if I am just not interested anymore, and I get sucked into a lot of thoughts, and I catch less and less thoughts, day by day, and I identify with them more and more, and now I am at a point where I am close to being completely unaware at all. On some level I care though, because I am making this post and looking into enlightenment.

I understand

First off, thought suffers yet it also wants to at the same time. Thought is very contradictory in nature. 

Without a problem thought has no function.  A lot of people don’t think they suffer because they still are getting caught up desire, pleasure, gratification, and so on. They may have not realized they will never find peace in those movements.

I completely agree suffering does give the necessary passion to explore. If you are interested, or having trouble being aware chances are you are suffering very deeply, yet you just haven’t had enough quite yet.

If we dont understand the manual of ourselves “THOUGHT/SELF” there is without a doubt, pain, sorrow, suffering, and such reactions taking place. 

 

We “self” for example, tends to want to reach enlightenment as that is thought seeking security in thought “idea, abstraction.” It does so to capture and sustain psychological security. Only at the same time in the attempt to calm the mind “thought” the self will resist all such attempts. Thought wants to secure itself but at the same time if it does it sees its very role “function” as ending. In this there is fear, and thought resists improving and it also resists not improving. Because in either direction it looses its purpose, permanence, and all thought/self ever wants to do is maintain self sustainment. 

 

No matter how severe suffering is, if we don’t understand the nature/structure of thought/self, the “i”, we will suffer and if that suffering is not caught it may grow into a quite a nightmare. 

Either way it takes quite an interest to self reflect and learn how thought opperstes. You will learn a lot about yourself. And in so doing, others as well. 

 

Explore or don’t. But don’t beat your self up about it. That’s what thought will do, it will not act yet it will also beat itself up about not acting.

Thought is a trixter, a contradicting movement that will deceive itself and convince itself otherwise.

 

Edited May 26, 2018 by Faceless