Ox herding pictures to know where we are.

[rashaad]

About me: When my Instagram profile asked me to write something about me. I wrote, "Imagine a raw mango ripening with the passing of time. that's me".
I am certain of one thing, I am this piece of life. Just like everyone and everything around me. But i have no idea what to do with this life. I teach math and science; I party in the weekends; and quite recently, i fell in love with a beautiful soul; my life is okay. But deep down i want something more and i know that i must go there.

The problem: Currently, I am having difficulties in starting a conversation and staying in it and most of the time, the topics are left with a with a lot of blank faces. sometimes me being that blank face myself. Often i notice that I am content in silence, talking about nothing or no one. But I cannot do this when i am around a bunch of people or my girlfriend. The environment gets weird and awkward.

My solution: I thought of consulting a psychiatrist but I chose to sit  down instead, meditate and come up with an answer. Thankfully, I do ask a lot of questions which make people think and I just sit back and listen to their stories. I also make jokes on observations and comparisons. I have to be interesting to keep people interested. But i am unable to do it always.

The journey so far: I had a near death experience when I was 17 years old. I almost drowned in a river. Ever since, my perspective on life has changed and I used to ask myself, what is the meaning of this life? life=death, after all. I started meditating with my eyes closed and with my eyes open as well, and I got my answer. We have to give meaning to this life, it is not meaningless. I did some research on different types of religions, philosophy and i started listening to spiritual leaders. Dealing with myself and dealing with the people around me isn't the same for me. What i mean to say isn't exactly what people around me get. This is intriguing me.

I have started this journey and I am honored to come across a lot of wise people. But I don't know where am I on this pathless path.

[martins name]

I remember that Ox herding pictures is on his todo list. Don't remember where he said it tho.