Benefits/Affects of Dancing/Music (and other suff)

[Jamie Universe]

Background - I've been dancing in my room for over 2-3 years now, I will play whatever music I am currently into and dance, I also have a bamboo staff which I 'wield' while imagining intense scenes from movies that I liked, or some utter amazing strike of creativity, and I get a really powerful emotional response. If you've ever watched a movie and had that 'artistic spiritual connection' (however you want to define that) then that's what I get occasionally. Its sort of weird and random, but it has some interesting affects.

I used to be suicidal and depressed (I think it was some existential crisis I took wrong) and played video games every minute I could, and one day I said "fuck it" and got excersises which is something that I was highly resistant to at the time, so then I walked up this hill at night, and for whatever reason I had some strange deep connection with nature and to this day it is probably the most powerful experience I've had (probably nothing compared to enlightenment though). Which provided me with this baseline for my experience in life, that walk at night probably cured my 'suicidal-ness' though I was still in pain for the next year or two, and I don't know when I started dancing, but I also noticed after a while I had this paranoia and started believing all this weird shit, one thing in particular that scared me, is one day I looked this up and actually found some form of schizophrenic mental disorder that recorded people believing weird shit and being paranoid of the people around them, which was what I was doing a lot. But honestly I could have mistaken what I had for an overactive imagination. And maybe I'll get into it later but dancing had a weird role into counteracting this (sort of). But as far as my insanity goes, I was never irrational and didn't worry to much about 'snapping' and becoming insane. I do occasionally experience this craziness spontaneously, but I've counteracted it mostly with logic, I can go into more detail if people want. But that experience I had of nature gave me a sort of life purpose vision, which I can get into detail later, but for whatever reason I've disconnected with this vision, maybe its natural, or maybe I've changed with my opinions and so did the vision. But I danced for these sorts of experiences.

I've also become really skilled with a bamboo staff lol, I've kind of incorporated it into my dance, and sort of developed new dance techniques with it, without getting into to much detail there a lot of interesting things I observed with how well I dance depending on energy levels, how 'magical' it is when I'm more emotionally 'balanced' or random affects and how I can sort of control my blood flow when imagining a scene where I move around a lot.  

In the past year or so is when I've been dancing mostly, my brother left for college and so now I'm dancing pretty much daily and am taking a shit ton of notes of stuff I observed and theories (unconfirmed stuff). I feel like this could somehow be related to Yoga but I can't really study that right now since I can't get booklist or the book because my families close-minded.

 

 

 

 

I'm not 100% percent sure what this journal will become, I'm might update it a lot, I'm going to try to, but nothing is fore sure. I'll probably post my notes on dancing, interesting phenomena, maybe make a separate post about the deeper spiritual side of it, I'll also probably add techniques if I find one thing keeps working for me consistently. Maybe I'll talk about my life in correlation with this, I am still currently searching for my life purpose, sort of. 

Dancing/Music does sort of have a role with self-actualization, I dance to try and obtain an emotional state or experience for the most part, I also do it to release stress or any weird feelings. I wouldn't count on it for any serious changes (besides life purpose) but I may be surprised in the future.