Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
UDT

Teaching social competence

2 posts in this topic

The following scenario:

A new analyst started working at our office three months ago. He´s a young guy, excellent records and work ethic. However, he is more and more frequently bullied by colleagues, basically put down to the bottom of the dominance hierarchy. Recently I had a talk with him in which it came out that he had a pretty rough childhood which, I believe, leads to his need for harmony. He is emotionally hurt by comments at him but fails to respond appropriately (e.g witty). Since he does great work I think its a shame what happens but I have to do my role as objectively as possible thus cant babysit him.

Now:

Is there literature, youtube material, or do you have personal experience with mentoring a person to become more socially competent/ dealing with those hierarchy games, establishing respect  and understanding how social dynamics function? I think If hes shown the right way, he will learn to deal with it. I was thinking about doing some sort of simulations and give him some literature to read. Ideally I´d do 5-10 sessions (in a life coach/ psycholgists manner) with him in which he gets the basics and can already start applying it in real scenarios.

Thank you for your time.

UDT

Edited by UDT

<banned for jokes in the joke section>

Thought Art I am disappointed in your behavior ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 No bully can break or play with honest person. What has been helpful for me is to remember that this wound is just all in my head and it cant be hidden. You cant ignore it, everyone sees that you are playing fool with yourself. For a bully this is an opportunity to strike. But you are smarter, you know that noone can trigger you, you are triggering yourself. Step back when they bully, dont join with them. Work on your holes until they are healed. Until one day will come when you dont need to step back anymore, instead you face them without blinking an eye and you feel shamed of them because they are so full of shit. After this moment they are going to leave you alone. But first you must become aware of that hole and fix it by becoming consious of it. Only then you can express yourself honestly and bullies will stop. 

I feel him, all that energy he is wasting on creating manipulation to win a battle with bully, sometimes it works and you think its all gone now. Until bully is back with new strategy to break you. And again you must come up with better manipulation. Do you see how childish this circle is ? 

i hope it helps you a little bit to dive into wilderness where bullies and manipulation live. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0