Relating To My Colleagues And Their Vision Of Me

[Raphael]

Hello, 

I am currently an intern working in a small team for about one month. At the beginning, I was feeling quite great despite my introverted personality and little shyness. However, it seems that my relationship with my colleagues is becoming more and more difficult as time passes.

I was actually expecting that, as I am doing self-actualization work and working on a little online business. But it would be nice to be able to have a decent relationship with the people at work.

I see three major obstacles to my relationship with them: business, health & fitness, self-consciousness.

 

Business

I am at the beginning of a little Affiliate Marketing business, and all the administrative shit is starting to fall on me. The goal is to earn enough money to be able to quit my job and then invest in a bigger business to become financially independent.

I don’t have a lot of time of personal time, and I prefer to spend it here rather than doing things like socializing, etc.

But, the fact is that I didn’t tell anybody about this for two reasons :

• this feeling of looseness when you start telling others about your dreams
• I really don’t want my boss to know that for obvious reasons

So, I don’t tell them how I spend my personal time and obviously, they don’t understand what I am doing in my life. They actually told me that I should not stay alone and come with them socializing, and going to places like restaurants, etc.

 

Health & Fitness

I grew up very skinny and had difficulties during most of my life because of my physical appearance. I started to doing sport seriously two years ago and eating very healthy.

Currently, I’m a vegetarian and I feel awesome following a very clean diet. I still look skinny, but I gained weight.

The fact is that I highly control what I eat, my physical health is one of my main priority in life. Because of it, I always refuse to eat in restaurants with them. I come with them, but I have my own prepared meal with me.

Also, I want to sleep at least 8h / day to have enough energy at work and for my business.

 

Self-Consciousness

I am not the most self-conscious person, but I think I am above average. I notice things that most people are not able to see.

For example, they really see the boss as an asshole. Most people will actually see him like that as he makes us work from 8 am to 6 pm, and is sometimes a little harsh. They say that there is a way to treat people, but I don’t see that. I only see mental limitations here. It also seems to me that they want too much advantages from the boss, for example, they want him to pay for their transport. In my mind it’s more like : "Hey, your boss is your boss, not your father. What the hell should he pay for your transport? If he does, it’s nice. If not, there is nothing bad with this."

They often complain about him and his attitude.

 

Despite these three major points, there are also more subtle problems:

• They don’t like that I am not so well integrated. They want me to act like them.
   
• They see me as harsh, impolite. Today I asked one colleague: « Can you open the other door? », just after I saw him on the morning. Another one told me: « Please? » I didn’t understand what the fuck was wrong. Maybe, it’s because I’m a direct person and don’t like to spend time on social conventions or because they were not a lot of emotions when I said this. I don’t know.
  
  Another time, a guy who likes to annoy interns said a joke about me. I replied to him:  « Shut up! » in the same state of mind (I was laughing), but it didn’t get well interpreted. I don’t really care a lot about what he says as it’s not serious, however, for me, it’s a stupid behavior that can become annoying.
   
• One of them thinks that I don’t like them. Actually, it’s more that they are not important for me. One day a colleague brought some special meals and I knew few days before about this. But this day I had to go manage administrative things, and I miss it. But, even if I were here I would not have eaten that. This colleague now thinks that I didn’t come to work this day because I don’t like this person.

Because of these critics, I don't feel at work. I would like to be able to better communicate with them. What are your advice, tips?