My Current Dilemma

[Deep]

I was doing research in a hospital in 2015. During that time my kundalini was activated because my mind became very focused. When I do research my mind becomes very focused. Society is ignorant about enlightenment so I assumed they might think something is wrong with me. If my kundalini rose while I was there, I thought it might create problems. So I decided to take a break from that. 

I don't want to run away from society. I can relate to people and have fun with them. Eventually I want to get married and have a family, but that's not my highest priority right now. I'm not against having fun but having fun prevents me from seeing reality for what it is. I think it's necessary to live a disciplined life. I also think it's necessary to have a little bit of ego to function in society. 

I haven't had any negative symptoms of kundalini. I know how to make it rise by practicing Raj Yoga. I'm not doing it because I want to keep my ego intact. I'll have to work to earn a living, but working forces me to control my mind. My dilemma is being in the dream state vs liberation. Both of them seem like good paths. Material and spiritual are the same thing. 

When the kundalini initially rises, it's hard to control. After it's fully risen it's easy to control. The problem would only occur while I'm doing research. At home it doesn't fucking matter. My other option is to start a business from home. 

Do you think I should allow my kundalini to rise? I know there's no guarantee it will. Do you think it can create problems in American society? I'm not going to tell people except for a few family and friends. Do you think I should keep my ego? LOL 

[krazzer]

@Deep Yes. No. No.