A Question About Attraction?

[Lifes2short]

Hi there,

I have a question about attraction and how it works. Some would say that attraction is applied when a specific criteria is met. What I mean by this is, people have preconceptions of who and what they want out of a partner, as a result creates attraction. For example, you meet a girl/guy who has the same cultural background as you, has the body type you like, the face you adore, has specific personality traits,  likes the same things etc.  

Others would say attraction is spontaneous, people say you end up with the person you least expect, the universe some how makes it happen and you don't expect it, regardless of any preconceived criteria.

What are people's views on this???

[sergeyrar]

I think attractiveness is simply achieved by feeling good about what you already have without needing someone to complete you.

[TDThompson]

Has something to do with off-spring...what the physical and physiological attributes in a partner that will best aid in producing off-spring that have the best chance to survive. We call it chemistry haha. 

 

[Keyblade Viking]

"As Above So Below" - Positive energy is attracted to negative and vice versa.

In this case masculine people are attracted to feminine people, if you're a man it's good for you to be masculine either way (most likely) because it make you feel fulfilled and if you're a woman same rule apply for being feminine.

With that logic it most suck to be a homosexual, can't help you there but just be your best self and hope for the best I guess.

[kyle barnett]

I believe in order to be in a happy relationship (Iv'e never been in one so I'm not a reliable source of information) you need two components. Without these two components the relationship will not work.

first - Attraction, the emotional pull towards someone. This can happen due to how seductive the other person is which can be shown in their appearance, their body language, their personality and masculine/feminine lifestyle behavior. Also many other determining factors. These factors can seduce our emotional brain so to speak, however It is not just shallow traits that cause this attraction. Without this attraction there will be no drive to keeping the relationship and no emotional connection to the other person. It would be more like shallow companionship in order to sustain income and shit in our life, that is why we are miserable when we settle for our partner.

second - If your partner has attracted you like this emotionally but on the other hand they do not logically have any benefit to your life, such as loyalty, independence, resonance with your lifestyle and intentions etc. You will also be miserable as you will be attached to someone who is toxic to your life and you end up stuck. That is why there are abusive relationships, divorces and all this nasty shit. 

 

[Iovestar]

I think that attraction definitely happens when a specific criteria is met and a lot of it is built on past experiences. For example, I may be looking for a particular type of person who shares similar characteristics to someone close to me in the past (could be a friend, family member, spouse, etc.) or even someone I admired from afar. Or, I may be looking for someone who likes similar things that I do. I also think that there are just things that people are universally attracted to, like kindness and physical attractiveness. I think most of the time it is instantaneous, but I also think that you can be totally unattracted to someone, then they surprise you and meet a certain criteria that you may not have realized you had, which results in attraction.