Health Is Wealth

[Elton]

7/2/2016-The shadow is becoming darker and darker ,

there seems to be so much light of hope out here ,

so much light of hope inside.

this light should reach ;

the known and the unknown aspects within me within you .

the energy must transform  .

 

using energy for energy ... using the energy i put in useless unwanted things that are not doing me any good perhaps leading to self destruction and ultimately world destruction... but how do i do this ?   the shadow refuses to submit ... i'm creating my own thoughts , this can be viewed just as a concept or model just Being and taking the right action is what i should do . message to reality.... 'JUST BRING IT'

 

even after writing all this i feel i'm going to go back to the shadow today maybe tomorrow might bring a light of hope ... :-( or maybe the evening oh man  ..perfectionist attitude is ruining me :-(

9/2/2016- fell back into the dark today evening after one whole day that too in the evening also realized how willpower either is built up or down !

10/2/2016- its so difficult to not change people try extra hard to be the same that is what i am doing :-/

11/2/2016- job interview call was a massive trigger

12/2/2016-same massive trigger for going to my lower self.

18/2/2016- I don't need to wait for some perfect date and time, now is the Time to drop all my Addictions... Now is the Time.

20/2/16-still stuck in the groove.

24/2/16- still stuck but the time is very near , time to be healthy .

26/2/16- Time to face reality,to embrace it truely as it is to accept whatever comes with it,to be integrated with it,to feel the oneness the trueness, even the bitterness to smell the roses,to smell the pile of shit...time to live completely.(so shut the  Fuck up and do it, thats when it really counts)

Edited February 26, 2016 by Elton

[Ayla]

2 minutes ago, Elton said:

 ... i'm creating my own thoughts 

Please sit and truly inquire into this. DO YOU create your own thoughts?  

**************************

In my observation, thoughts come from emptiness and sink back into emptiness (if not engaged with) 

[Elton]

the thoughts that smoking stuff and all this is bad and feeling guilty and all who is thinking all this ? who wants a change? a better health ? a better life purpose ?  I I I 

[Ayla]

It is ultimately ALL part of consciousness, just another facet of it. 

But seriously, YOU sit with it in silence. See for yourself where are they coming from..  as it need to be your own experience and not someone else's words 

[Elton]

wow!! a foreigner talking to me and giving me advice :-) its feels so nice and that too such a  beautiful lady ...wow! thanks ... :-) seems like thoughts come from no where i have been meditating for a while and thats why i'm saying this  ...lets see what more epiphanies i have in the future if i am alive .. i want a nice long life and all these year i've been indulging in smoking and all and it might affect my health in the long run very severely... all these vices are the shadow i'm talking about even in mastery its written if you are on drugs you are not on the path of mastery 

[Ayla]

This is how I see this: 

• Your body is attached to smoking
• Your mind is attached to no smoking

Relinquish the attachment of mind first and see what happens

 

[Cookiesliyr]

well i don't know, i never smoked in my life but have many friends and even family members who smoke, and all of them wanted to quite that from time to time and i seen them struggle with, which make me guilty thinking i am safe from that sometimes.

but as someone who was addicted to coffee in a crazy way when i was living a stressful life i found that stress encourage those behavior, so maybe if you reduced your stress you will find it easier to smoke less, the other thing i believe trying to kill the habit is quite wrong, to reduce it a lot that might work, but killing it all of sudden i never seen it work.

the second point that i can offer i found myself every time i quite coffee i find myself drink diet soda, and people start to influence me to cut the soda even thought it is diet, but they say it what's make me fat, even thought i am fat all my life but whatever. but when i quite the soda i return to coffee and find other ppl telling me to quite the coffee, so i used to go back and forth, luckly i learned to give a middle finger to those ppl who want to change my habits and do what i want. so what i drink now you ask? well i drink both! but not as much as i did when i only drink one of them.

[Elton]

22 hours ago, Cookiesliyr said:

well i don't know, i never smoked in my life but have many friends and even family members who smoke, and all of them wanted to quite that from time to time and i seen them struggle with, which make me guilty thinking i am safe from that sometimes.

but as someone who was addicted to coffee in a crazy way when i was living a stressful life i found that stress encourage those behavior, so maybe if you reduced your stress you will find it easier to smoke less, the other thing i believe trying to kill the habit is quite wrong, to reduce it a lot that might work, but killing it all of sudden i never seen it work.

the second point that i can offer i found myself every time i quite coffee i find myself drink diet soda, and people start to influence me to cut the soda even thought it is diet, but they say it what's make me fat, even thought i am fat all my life but whatever. but when i quite the soda i return to coffee and find other ppl telling me to quite the coffee, so i used to go back and forth, luckly i learned to give a middle finger to those ppl who want to change my habits and do what i want. so what i drink now you ask? well i drink both! but not as much as i did when i only drink one of them.

Masculine compassion might work better for me...  Leaving little by little thats feminine compassion.. Sometime you got to stand up inside yourself and say shut up!  

[Elton]

@Ayla how do i relinquish  the attachment to the mind ?

[Ayla]

2 hours ago, Elton said:

@Ayla how do i relinquish  the attachment to the mind ?

Fully accepting it. Fully embracing what comes into it. 

[Elton]

9/3/2016- after a long time no nicotine in my body for 20 hours now :-) have to keep this streak going ... 

didn't continue for long :-/ weed was a trigger and after that a judgement i passed on myself was a trigger .

Edited March 9, 2016 by Elton

[Elton]

10/4/16- the power of self acceptance was a very powerful tool to dissolve my shadow, not dissolved completely but Love can been seen as the answer .

Edited April 10, 2016 by Elton

[Elton]

17/4/16- a really good week none of my bad habits indulged me, getting some sort of freedom from all these.. Few more habits I need to shed are junk food and negative thinking thats like the next level after I've successfully sustained these... 

[Elton]

Bad habits have melted out but the anger and hatred to the world is sinking in, the real world is so much different than when I would allow foreign substances in my body.its a mean world and no matter how hard you are it will beat you to your knees and keep u there permanently if you let it, you me or nobody is gonna hit has hard as life 

But ain't about how hard you hit,its about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward thats how winning is done.

[Elton]

No bad habits, but they keep appearing in my dreams... Life seems so slow without all this stuff. But the root cause identification and awareness of homeostasis really helped a lot,  now negative thinking needs to be fixed and self talk mindfulness will be the key.

[Elton]

this journal is over i'm starting a new one in which all these activities will be integrated