Sry guys

[Psychonaut]

I have become the monster that I always feared I would become.

I have built an empire out of 258 domain names, I wanted to stop at 222.

But I just kept going and going and going. I have spent thousands of not my money within a few days, and to keep the pressure off me I have battled stupid battles in the forum here with people that I actually like.

I have lost so many girlfriends over my behavior, my style of sexuality, my complete control in the one second and the complete and utter letting go of all control (letting myself fall to my basic instincts).

It might not sound genuine from what I have written in the last days. But this is my coming clean post. And I am the only one that can dig myself out of this grave. Because a dual substance abuse disorder, that cancels each other out, with a sick online cam addiction is a triple substance abuse disorder that goes on the level of 3-dimensional crack cocaine, with heroine and absolute humilitation.

Now I can spend the next few days of the year recovering my brain. Because my brain is so utterly screwed, beyond any comprehension. I am the only one that would have been able to survive this and I just wanted to feel the utter humiliation of having my credit-cards being declined and then using the last cc just for the final release.

The thing is I have played the cam game through already, I have played the substance + cam girl game already on every possible substance and now I have played the cam game on a ketamine + speed dual substance abuse disorder (the effects cancel each other out, so you can go higher and higher and higher).

It is basically full K-Hole + can't stop. I would highly recommend every sane person to never ever replicate this behavior. Because you will crash-out and if there is no-one there to pick you up when you land you have to do it yourself.

And I will do it myself now, because no one was there for me, ever. No one ever understood the horrors I have seen on the internet. The sheer and utter despair, the scream in the depths of the ocean when you are drowning in the collective horror that we as a society have become. And on the internet it is uncensored. It is unfiltered.

Take care guys and take a break from the internet to spend some time with some loved ones, while you still can. Because you never know they might be dead, the next time you return from one of your uncontrolled benders. My mother is certainly still here for now, but I don't know for how long and I better get better so that my last ex-girlfriend can maybe trust me more. My brain is fucked now, I wanted to fuck my brain. I wanted to stab a dagger through that damned prefrontal cortex.

And I did and now I am going to take a break from this fucking madness that I created all in my own brain. And no. I am not going to share it with anyone, besides my therapist. Because at least he can take.

You guys can't. My parents can't. My friends never could. My last girl actually was able to take some of it, but now I have to take her shit, from me being the biggest and most utter fool for dumping her ass the way I did.

Take care guys,

Don't ever ever ever do what I did,

You won't survive it,

You will kill yourself before facing the humiliation, just like Epstein did and all the other people that have become the monster they have always feared to become,

I am that monster, but I have also many friends that remind me of who I used to be, before I became that monster.

So the monster is signing off now,

Cheers,

You can call me @Psychonaut or Psico|https://psico.page/,

Better stick with @Psychonaut, because the Psico|https://psico.page/ personality is a little bit too much for a public forum....

Edited 4 hours ago by Psychonaut

[Joseph Maynor]

@Psychonaut  You're fine.  I haven't seen anything seriously wrong with you lol.  For what that is worth.  

[Psychonaut]

Just now, Joseph Maynor said:

@Psychonaut  You're fine.  I haven't seen anything seriously wrong with you lol.  For what that is worth.