Wtf happened to me? (Vomit-induced 'awakening')

[QandC]

I had one of the strangest experiences of my life recently and I’m genuinely trying to understand what happened... I had smoked weed the night before and was still slightly buzzed the next morning but not high. I’ve experimented with altered states and psychedelics quite a lot bfore, so intense experiences are not exactly 'new' to me. But this was completely different.

I was at work when I suddenly started feeling extremely nauseous. I went to the bathroom and eventually threw up. Before vomiting I actually felt bad enough that I was considering either going home or even calling an ambulance... Then, almost immediately after throwing up, something changed.

My first thought was basically:

“Wait… I don’t feel that bad anymore.”

Then:

“Wait… I’m okay.”

Then it suddenly expanded into:

“Wait… there are no problems.”

And from there the experience exploded.

It felt as if I suddenly remembered something that I had forgotten my entire life. I began experiencing what felt like memories of being in the womb, and then somehow “rewinding” even further than that. It felt like I was remembering consciousness before my current life had begun. Then I heard a voice very clearly saying something along the lines of:

“Congratulations. You reached enlightenment.”

The weirdest part is that it did not feel like imagination. It felt like recognition.

Like:

“Ohhh… right. Of course. I remember now. .. HOLY SHIT I REMEMBER WTF!! OMFG THIS IS IT!!"

I even yelled out loud to myself 'OF COURSE!!' (Luckily none of my coworkers heard me)

Suddenly my entire identity felt constructed. My life, personality, fears, ambitions and problems looked like parts of a character I had agreed to play. I had this overwhelming realization that reality was some kind of simulation/game that consciousness voluntarily enters, and that we forget what we actually are once we are born.

And then Leo appeared in the experience. I know this might sound cringe but for some reason I heard his voice. I experienced him as someone I had somehow spoken to before entering this life, and he said something like:

“I told you you’d make it. Welcome. And there are levels to this.”

Again, I’m NOT saying this literally happened. I’m describing what the experience felt like.

At this point I was sitting on the bathroom floor talking out loud to this voice as though I was having an actual conversation.

For a short period I was so convinced that I had discovered something objectively true that I even thought:

“I can tell my coworkers about this now. They’ll understand.” ..... Thankfully I didn’t. Then it got even stranger.

I saw existence almost like multiple layers or “respawns.” One life leading into another level of existence, then another, then another. I also experienced this image of multiple probability wheels stacked on top of each other. Each wheel had an almost impossibly tiny chance of landing on one particular point, and somehow all of them had aligned in my case.

The feeling was something like:

“Something extremely rare happened to my consciousness/brain at birth. Some kind of glitch or defect allowed me to eventually notice what normally remains hidden.”

It felt simultaneously like the most insane bad luck imaginable and the greatest luck imaginable. Part of me became terrified because it felt like I had accidentally discovered that consciousness was trapped in layer after layer of existence. But stilll at the same time I felt that discovering this was precisely what could allow me to escape the loop.

The emotional tone then shifted into complete bliss. All of my normal problems seemed almost laughably unreal. Fear disappeared. Everything felt perfect exactly as it was.

What confuses me most is how real it felt. i have had psychedelic experiences before where I knew, at least somewhere in the background, that I was tripping. But This was different. It had the quality of remembering something, rather than inventing something. The certainty itself was probably the strongest part of the experience.

Several hours later I was basically back to normal, but something about the experience still felt psychologically “stuck” with me.

So wtf happened to me? It was the most sober I've ever felt. Like a light bulb turned to its absolute maximum degree.

or maybe it was a drug-induced psychosis?

Edited 10 hours ago by QandC