Problem solving is one of the top skills you need to develop for quality dating

[LordFall]

Most dating frustration on this forum boils down to one fundamental bottleneck: a near-total breakdown in basic problem-solving.

When an obstacle hits, solving it takes actual intellectual and emotional effort. Blaming an entire gender is free and low effort.

In our society:

• Men blame women for being "entitled" or "hypergamous" instead of examining their own lack of competence, social leverage, or attractive qualities.
• Women blame men for being "emotionally unavailable" when the breakdown often stems from poor communication and uncommunicated expectations.

Problem solving is a deep skillset that will help both single people but also people already in relationships to deepen their appreciation of their partner as they learn how to remove problems in their relationships. 

It's quite hard because it requires both left and right brain capabilities in terms of a deep understanding of emotions and how they manifest when a problem occurs as well as the analytical process to figure out potential solutions to throw at the issue until it's fixed.

Some examples of how a lack of problem solving skill manifests in someone's life: habitual victimization, blaming the other gender for your personal dating problems, over emphasis on narrow issues without understanding the greater picture, addiction to negativity, escapism and many more. 

You could even go as far as to define someone's value by their ability to solve problems in their own life and, more importantly, for others. Conversely, a person of low value is someone who can't solve problems. Even worse, they usually end up creating new ones for themselves and everyone around them!

Edited 8 hours ago by LordFall

[Olaf]

@LordFall if a guy blames woman for him being single, then clearly that is a cope. You can get a girlfriend if you really want to as a men, because you can simply go out and approach woman. The thing is that most guys rather complain about woman then to actually get out there and meet woman. I have spoken to around a 1000 woman in the last 2 months and actually I start to like woman more and have a deeper appreciation for woman. Many times I rather talk to woman then talking to any men, because woman are not so autistic and know how to just have a fun little chat and let go in the moment. Most of this coping comes from single guys listening too much to populair social media influencers take on woman. 

Edited 7 hours ago by Olaf

[LordFall]

100% agreed, women are great to hang out and work with. They are more calibrated than men and have better social skills and are also less egotistical so in a work environment often they create less unnecessary friction. Men unless in their lane tend to do poorly in environments they're not used to unless they put a lot of time into practicing their social skills.

Try organizing a big event and women in a community will generally be more willing and better at helping out whereas dudes only wanna show up for the fun part and often can't appreciate the work that goes into making great stuff happen. 

Now that you've put months of effort into your dating life it starts to be obvious when other people are avoiding that path and their complaints will start to feel like pure victim mindset to you. Humans would definitely rather cope through their problems rather than actually put the effort into solving them for good.