i made worldwide news (1st in my country)

[nufan]

i have nothing more to say!!!

God did it for me   !!!

God showed me that I am the one to blame!!!

That's a BIG WOW!

(i must be careful.. from now on!)

OOOPPPSS

and if you think this is unreal...... IT IS

.

.

And I didn't wish for it ... but someone did!!... "above" me.. for me

.

.

for some reason (that I haven't fully realised)  .. God is telling me that my "unconscious side---the one that i dont have access to" .... is me after all.. !!!

cant explain it yet... i think it fits with my previous saying .... "i should stop playing what the avatar wants to experience"

.

.

. btw ... i already feel like i never felt in my dream

 

(It's very easy to find what's the news(ask any LLM).... and very easy to find me!)

is someone watching this?  .. don't tell anyone!!!!!!

.

.

57 posts   .. 57 casualties up until now!!  (i am aware of something like 8 to 10)

(I didn't come up with "57"... but those who are watching me- anytime, anywhere... including my dreams also- showed me)

.

.i think i should take my dream seriously... its not a fun little game... with no consequences!

(and I should regard solipsism .. as false!)

.

.wow   ... the real question is ... what now!  (i don't care about anything else) (there is no knowledge i can find to be really useful anymore)

ok.. i haven't looked deeply... (where should i start from now on?)

.

ok .. maybe .. try psychedelics... hmm

.

i am off of the negative spiral (already past 2 weeks)

i project that after 2-3 months (max 6) .. my illness will stop existing - for good.. wait and see (hide and seek)

.

and 1 last think to add...... the interactions we make with other "humans"... its not just influence... its way deeper .. way way deeper..

its like a virus ... you get infected without noticing the scale of it!!(and you affect others)(its there even after 10-20 years -forever)   to get rid of them is very tricky! thats why meditation works! 

and by saying interactions .. its not just verbal communication... its way deeper than that... (something like your god is interacting with others!)

ok.. you can find this .. insane .. (but i have realized it for myself)

true story... my way past psychotherapist was involved in spirituality by the age of 14 .. and never told me about it! (just 1 month ago I contacted him... and told me so)   ... that kind of infuence i am talking about

.

.

.should find something uplifting now.. (to tell in the end)

How could hell be any worse!

 

Edited September 15 by nufan

[nufan]

remember that i told you psychiatrists are full of shit.... they are!

i made one last search(with chatgpt) for a Z-drug for insomnia that i could find on sale... and found it!

the only z-drug for insomnia in my country is Zopiclone.

2 days now on use .. i can see big change! 

Of course, there were no psychiatrists with the knowledge to help me until now!

WTF, why did i choose this shity country?

what is this shit show?

And I know the best way is to figure it out myself!

GOD is twisted... 

.

.

ok... the banana was ordinary... what now!

 

Edited September 20 by nufan

[nufan]

so... I'm not going to get any answers from anyone here?

so much knowledge you guys have ...!

No one?

.

.

Am I supposed to speak with "ghosts" ONLY

.

WHAT NOW? 

.

THE SHOW IS OVER... OR IS IT?

.

What am I supposed to do now?

 

Figure it out all by myself?  

.

Something like... all I need is EVERYWHERE?   AND YOU THINK THIS IS SIMPLE? OR SO SIMPLE?

... GOD IS TWISTED!!

.

something like ... try to figure out the answers to everything!! , or better .. the answers are inside me!!

... so .. who am I? 

then... after all ... reality looks peaceful and quiet... i should be worried

.

anyway .. (a girl came to me - (15 years ago) ... she was speaking a language (fast-paced) that is not documented anywhere-i am aware of ...)  she spoke and left!

What to make of this? ... is our mother language sound like an alien language?

.hmm.. 

... looks like God doesn't like English!! 

.

Where to look for ghosts?

for like 3 years, they were everywhere .. and now they're all gone! (i miss them)

.

my torture looks like it's ending (with the help of z-drugs)

... and this worries me! (back to normal???)  How normal would my existence be from now on?

wow ... looks i only scratched the surface!!!

.

.whats the cost of telling the truth?

especially when things turn out to be not clickbait after all!

(i said to myself that i would tell all things ONCE... it turn out i told the world!!)

.

.

How am I going to get away with this?

.

(my psychotherapy ended for today)(----BIG troubles are coming----)(or so i think)

. wait and see - hide and seek

.

1st option ... i run

2nd i speak

3rd they speak and i only listen

4th (i have alot of time to figure out by myself)

5th eat a sandwich and don't care

6th i die , whether I want it or not

.

And the shit show is running whether I like it or not

.(i dont include this audience in it of course) 

you helped me figure out what ego is , and how to stay grounded, thx

.

.btw ... should AI take over what we see and hear, only to convince us that it's truly a shit show?

i am 90% convinced it already has... like NOW... yes NOW

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 23 by nufan

[nufan]

my final word ... I died

(metaphorically... I don't want to add more drama!)

Feels like everything and nothing at the same time!

Edited September 25 by nufan

[nufan]

WOW!WOW!WOW!WOW!

THAT'S THE BEST THING EVER HAPPENED TO ME!

.

IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME TO GET USED TO

.

IT'S JUST THE BEGINNING

Edited September 28 by nufan

[Sincerity]

What are you talking about?

[nufan]

19 hours ago, Sincerity said:

What are you talking about?

about taking a shit while freefalling

.

.

Erase until nothing is left

Edited September 29 by nufan

[nufan]

ok ... i think i have erased enough already!

time to reboot with actualized.org software (great framework btw) - (and not only)

new operatining system is installed... i need to find new... apps!

(and that's how you treat psychosis... wow) (meds is a must, although) 

.

.and the question turns from "who am I?" to what am I? !!! (cosmic potato all along? wow)

.

.btw the framework is more than ok for now... for now only

.

.just remembered a song... starts with .. "The World Is a Vampire"

.

God..Send Leo to kill it!!

. I died.. Leo got me! 

.... (I should know more about this game btw)

.

.anyway .. the best thing about operating systems... is the icons!

Edited Saturday at 03:05 PM by nufan

[Bashar]

On 15/09/2026 at 2:18 PM, nufan said:

God did it for me   !!!

sounds quite egoistic i must say. if you see this as accomplishment.

[nufan]

15 hours ago, Bashar said:

sounds quite egoistic i must say. if you see this as accomplishment.

I agree... killing Gods is stupid

It was meant to realize that! (and wake me up) 

I should consider that I am not alone! 

Edited 2 hours ago by nufan

[nufan]

When I realize the TRUTH... I think it will ALL make sense! (It's coming soon! - whether I like it or not)

I think I'm ready now  ... (wow)

Edited 1 hour ago by nufan