Existential Dread

[oOo]

17 hours ago, Stick said:

I had been taking a nap in the afternoon and after I woke up I got so fucking terrified that I was gonna die I almost vomited.
Has this happened to anyone else?
Normally I couldnt care less that I was gonna die. 
But today is different.
Just the thought of death makes me terrified.
It has calmed down a bit but I am still shaking.
Can someone share thier experience?? <3

(if this is what awareness of eventual death feels like I wonder how fucking mind bending realizing solipsism would be)

I found this really interesting. 

Because I've literally never been concerned with my own passing. 

That said, I have felt like I was dying when I have lost someone. 

Concern for my own passing really only happens through the eyes of another person, which is like my brain discerning whether what I am doing is right through another's reality filters rather than my own. Like I have a mate that would be concerned about me having this disposition, so I notice my brain having his glasses on reality help guide my own processing concerning my automatic disposition. And understand that this is very different as well from being concerned about the way that I pass away. Simply noting the fear of pain emerge in the context of numerous simulations I right now run in my mind for example, alters my perception of the experience of death more than it does the outcome of death, which does not concern me much outside of having fears emerge relating to what may happen if I was no longer able to assume life responsibilities if I was no longer living. 

I don't have necessarily the right reaction, I just have my reaction, and I don't think either one should either be romanticised or criticised, but for both and anything in between, simply understood to shed light on accurately assessing our human condition. What I think is fundamental, is that irrespective of what automatic position one finds themselves in, that they have a tendency towards living their life fully in as much as life gives them this luxury. 

But yeah, watching myself flash in and out of existence like a light flickering on and off is a cool visual effect for me more than it is an existential dread.

Just look after yourself regardless, ask people questions I am sure they will provide their feedback to help you. Best.

 

Edited 2 hours ago by oOo

[Carl-Richard]

I first discovered this at 6-7 years old looking up at the stars at night with a friend. It's the thinking mind (or ego identification) coming online and pondering its place in eternity. So two important things: it's your thinking mind, and it's about eternity, not death per se.

It's not actually that you fear nothingness in eternity, it's that you fear the unlimited groundlessness of eternity. But it's the thinking mind/ego that fears it. And it fears it because it thinks "what should I do?", "how can I do?", "where is my choice?", "what if I don't want?", "what if I want grounding?", "what if I want safety?", "what if I want 'reality'?".

But if you can instead identify as God, you will be an infinite being creating everything it wants for eternity. If you can actually identify with that, isn't that wonderful? Perhaps from the perspective of the thinking mind/ego, probably not, but from the perspective of God, it's everything you could ever want.

Edited 1 hour ago by Carl-Richard