Breaking the ego

[Breakingthewall]

Over the course of your life, beginning and usually ending in your childhood, a process of closure takes place. The need for belonging, completely non-negotiable, makes openness to your source, to what you are, unbearable. You create an energetic structure adapted to the vibration of the people you interact with and take as models.

At a certain point, that structure becomes your form, what you are as a human being, and it no longer draws its vitality from within, from your source, but from outside, from social reality. Being disconnected from your being, from your source, your reality becomes constant lack, filled with projection onto a future of fullness drawn from social reality. This is impossible.

You can feel this closure at low intensity and achieve a supposedly sufficient level of comparative social nourishment, living in a dull, bearable lack, or you can feel it with great intensity, where the lack feels like a constant, unbearable imbalance. You might try to cover it with drugs, sex, success, compulsive work, or whatever else. None of it will work, in any case. There are also people who, due to their circumstances, have maintained a fairly high level of openness and live fairly connected by default, but there are few of them.

Once you operate from a structure based on valuation, and you draw your vital energy from valuing and comparing, you can no longer get out of it. You are a prisoner, separated from your essence, closed off from the source that you are, from yourself.

You are not going to break this energetic barrier, built on genetic patterns formed in the tribe and the herd, by understanding that they are a mistake, an illusion, by having insights and classifying the ego as illusory, but by breaking the barrier that encloses you.

From my perspective (from my mental structure), there is only one way to do this, becoming aware of the barrier and having a moment of openness. Then you see the closure clearly, and all your mental energy focuses on breaking it. It is not something you do through discipline, it is inevitable. But it is extremely difficult, because you really do draw your energy from the valuative structure.

It may be an anxious, painful energy, but it is the only one you have. You cannot simply drop it, that is impossible, if you have no other source of life, it will come back immediately, and access to what you are, to the source, is closed. It will not open just because you want it to, you have to break it. And to do that, you must absolutely want to.

Not because you are looking for something better, but because you perceive a closure, and that is intolerable, period. The work is 24/7, and quite slow. Returning to the purity of childhood is no longer enough and it is impossible.

You must break through structural layers of fear, one after another, passing through the valuative layer, the need for acceptance, for belonging, for self-judgment, until you reach the base, the primordial I am, where nothing remains but the subject/object structure, stripped of everything else, and collapse it.

It is in that movement that the source reveals itself. It was really always present in everything, but the structure through which it manifested kept it closed, opaque, impossible to perceive. Once it opens, experience changes completely.

It goes from being defined to being fluid, from being valuative to being alive, from being reflective to being expansive. You will never achieve this by realizing that valuing is a mistake, because it is not, it is your way of obtaining energy when your structure has closed off access to what is alive. When you break the barrier, the self-reflective structure is no longer necessary, and it simply disappears. Definition disappear because what you are is indefinable. This is so obvious that trying to grab or define is not even an idea. 

From this let's say way of existing, you can open your heart to death, not because it's inevitable but because it's perceived like something that happens in what you are, no to what you are. 

[Ziran]

33 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

The need for belonging, completely non-negotiable, makes openness to your source, to what you are, unbearable.

I have never felt this way, to the best of my recollection, within this timeline.  Are you perhaps waxing, poetically?  I'm simply asking so I can read your words as intended.  TY.

33 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

At a certain point, that structure becomes your form, what you are as a human being...

^^ This I've experienced ^^

...but it's not born from a need for belonging.

Edited Thursday at 11:58 PM by Ziran

[Ziran]

43 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

You will never achieve this by realizing that valuing is a mistake, because it is not, it is your way of obtaining energy when your structure has closed off access to what is alive. When you break the barrier, the self-reflective structure is no longer necessary, and it simply disappears. Definition disappear because what you are is indefinable. This is so obvious that trying to grab or define is not even an idea. 

From this let's say way of existing, you can open your heart to death, not because it's inevitable but because it's perceived like something that happens in what you are, no to what you are. 

I love the way you ended this.  I can totally relate here.  If you would like to discuss it further, let me know.  Cheers.

[Breakingthewall]

12 hours ago, Ziran said:

have never felt this way, to the best of my recollection, within this timeline.  Are you perhaps waxing, poetically?  I'm simply asking so I can read your words as intended.  TY.

Not poetically, just the most common in humans even you are not conscious of it. The need of belonging, of acceptance, is absolute. If the adults around you are closed, egoic, neurotic, you will construct a barrier. You won't know that you are doing it, for you it will be just the reality 

12 hours ago, Ziran said:

This I've experienced ^^

...but it's not born from a need for belonging.

Then what originated it?

 

[Ziran]

7 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

even you are not conscious of it.

~LOL~

7 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

Then what originated it?

Freedom

[Breakingthewall]

8 hours ago, Ziran said:

~LOL~

Freedom

On 4/9/2026 at 1:55 AM, Ziran said:

 

Explain deeper, if you don't mind. 

[Mellowmarsh]

[Breakingthewall]

5 hours ago, Mellowmarsh said:

What is the ego? We could say that there are many layers or many frequencies of the ego. The most annoying and obvious is the need of being better than you, but there are levels much more subtle. For example the need of control, the constant feeling that you have to control the situation with your mental activity. Or even more subtle, the need of being important for another person, the need of bondages. Or even more subtle, the need of control of your future, having a plan. Or even more, the need of being you, with your character, remembers, personality. Layers and more layers. 

[Mellowmarsh]

3 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

What is the ego?

The ego is desire for samsara.

Escaping samsara means breaking free from the endless, repeating cycle of birth, suffering, aging, death, and rebirth to attain ultimate peace and liberation. When separation is no longer seen, or embodied. When truth of oneness is experienced and this experience is the end of desire and a return to the true self of pure innocence that is not in the dream and nothing in the dream can touch it, it’s simply recognised and understood, is ‘my’ personal answer to the question “what is ego”? 
 

 

[Breakingthewall]

16 minutes ago, Mellowmarsh said:

Escaping samsara means breaking free from the endless, repeating cycle of birth, suffering, aging, death, and rebirth to attain ultimate peace and liberation.

How can we know if this is true or simply a religious invention? It's impossible; no one knows for sure.

17 minutes ago, Mellowmarsh said:

When separation is no longer seen, or embodied. When truth of oneness is experienced and this experience is the end of desire and a return to the true self of pure innocence that is not in the dream and nothing in the dream can touch it, it’s simply recognised and understood, is ‘my’ personal answer to the question “what is ego”? 
 

 

You can be completely open to your absolute nature, but desire always remains. If you're left in a room full of rats, you'll want to escape.

The idea of killing desire and attachment stems from the belief in ending the cycle of samsara, which is precisely an egoic idea that seeks to avoid suffering because you don't like it. So some monks make a great effort to kill any preference in order to reach nirvana, but they do so because they've heard that this is the way to achieve a goal, and they've come to believe it.

[Mellowmarsh]

2 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

How can we know if this is true or simply a religious invention? It's impossible; no one knows for sure.

There is only Y/OUR truth. 

 There is only Y/OUR knowledge/ knowing.

 

Go figure. Invent something, anything, whatever feels right for you. 

 

[Mellowmarsh]

15 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

You can be completely open to your absolute nature, but desire always remains. If you're left in a room full of rats, you'll want to escape.

The idea of killing desire and attachment stems from the belief in ending the cycle of samsara, which is precisely an egoic idea that seeks to avoid suffering because you don't like it. So some monks make a great effort to kill any preference in order to reach nirvana, but they do so because they've heard that this is the way to achieve a goal, and they've come to believe it.

Nice to see you back in samsara. Bummer isn’t it. Can’t live with her, can’t live without her.

 

Just look on with pure detachment, or be attached. For me personally, I don’t mind what happens. If it’s the dream body , it’s the dream body, if it’s the astral body, it’s the astral body,subtle or gross living, I don’t actually give a quack, or a long squawk.

Edited 1 hour ago by Mellowmarsh

[Zigzag Idiot]

 There's no fault in not knowing if you're willing to investigate further. The reading and study can be tedious. It can be extremely boring unless you're truly curious and willing to investigate.

Investigating the term ego. A bifurcation is immediately encountered making a distinction between the ego of spiritual literature and the ego as defined in psychoanalytic theory or developmental psychology.

I enjoy the glossary found in A.H. Almaas' Diamond Approach. The Ridhwan School,,,, 

https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/alphabetical?alphabet=5

 

Confusion About the Term "Ego"

Here we digress to point out a source of confusion about the term “ego.” Readers who know both the spiritual and psychological literatures will find the term freely used in both, but with no general agreement on what the term refers to. This ambiguity often leads to confusion. The literature on spiritual development, on essential or inner development, on all matters of religious concern, generally uses the term “ego” to mean something which is seen as the barrier to spiritual realization. The literature on depth psychology, however, uses the term with a very different meaning. The ego referred to by Freud, and which ego psychology studies, is not the ego which is the barrier to spiritual development. They are two different concepts. The psychoanalytic term “ego” refers, rather, to the functional self, which is the site, organizer, and coordinator of the functions of perception, memory, mobility, and so on. There is, however, a concept in depth psychology and ego psychology that coincides with the ego of spiritual literature: it is called the “ego-identity,” and is sometimes referred to as the sense of self, or the sense of identity. This sense of self or separate identity is the main concern of ego developmental theory. This identity is, in fact, the acme, the most important outcome of ego development. It is ultimately the organizing center of the psychic apparatus. This psychic apparatus includes as one of its units the Freudian ego. In other words, the Freudian ego is part of the mind, is a structure or a structured process in it, while the self is a sense of identity and a center of action. The exact sense in which the ego identity is a barrier to spiritual development will become clear in later chapters.

The Void, pg. 9

 

Interdependence Between Ego and Being

To know that one is Being, which is not within the realm of images, is such a subtle understanding that it seems impossible for a child to have this knowledge. Enlightenment must wait for the maturity of perception, discrimination and understanding, since it depends on self knowledge. These capacities depend upon concepts. We can say then that ego is needed for enlightenment, since the beginning of conceptualization in childhood is inextricably linked with the development of the ego. So first the ego, which is needed for knowledge and functioning, develops; then the capacity for discriminating knowledge, among other things, leads to the dissolution of the ego. The final result is the life of Being, including the development of functioning within the realm of Being. This interdependence between ego and Being can also be seen in the process of inner metabolism. Ego on its own cannot complete the metabolism of experience and hence cannot bring about complete human development; Being is needed for this process to take place. On the other hand, Being cannot accomplish on its own the whole process of metabolism; it cannot dislodge ego when ego is defensive. From the perspective of the mind, Being can be resisted easily with a slight movement of ego; thus ego must first cooperate by relinquishing its defensive posture.

Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 167

 

Have a nice day and stuff

Enjoy yourself and all

Being too serious is slow suicide

The bumper sticker - Mean people suck,,, - Seems like a paradox to me.