Different Kind Of Family

[Veggies]

I'm trying to figure out how not to be stuck. Relationship things.

[Prabhaker]

20 minutes ago, Veggies make me FART said:

how not to be stuck. Relationship things.

Jesus said : IF ANY MAN COME TO ME, AND HATE NOT HIS FATHER, AND MOTHER, AND WIFE, AND CHILDREN, AND BRETHREN. AND SISTERS, YEA, AND HIS OWN LIFE ALSO, HE CANNOT BE MY DISCIPLE. ◄ Luke 14:26 ►

He says: "If any man come to me and hate not his father, mother, wife, children, brothers and sisters, he cannot be my disciple." A man who has always been talking about love - why so suddenly does he talk about hate? The word'hate'

does not fit on the lips of Jesus. The man seems to be contradictory, paradoxical, but that is only an appearance. We have to go deep. If Jesus says'hate' he must mean something. And he means....

First: man is born as part of the divine, as part of the totality, the whole. The child in the mother's womb is not in the mother's womb: the child is in the womb of the whole. Mother is nothing but part of the whole. Mother is the nearest part of the whole, but the child exists in the divine, in the totality. He does not know the mother; he simply exists. Then he is born, he is separated from the mother.

But even while separate from the mother, he has not yet got an identity. He cannot say'I am'. Still the purity of'am-ness' continues.

Then by and by, he will start loving the mother. The moment he starts loving the mother he will forget the wholeness of'am-ness', the totality. Love of the mother will become oblivion of the total. Then he starts loving the father - he forgets the total completely. Then his brothers, sisters.... Then a family is created, a small family, and he has forgotten the great family of existence.

Unless his consciousness shifts again from the mother, from the father, from the brothers and sisters, and the whole gestalt changes - again he looks at the whole and the whole becomes the family, again he lives with the stars and the trees are the rivers and the ocean and the sands - he will not'be able to follow Jesus; you will not be able to follow me. Because what is the meaning of following Jesus?

The only meaning is to shift the focus of consciousness. If you have fallen in love with a family, you have to go beyond that love. Otherwise that very love, that very attachment, will not allow you to enter into the greater whole.

When he says'hate' he simply means: don't love. When he says'hate' he uses a very strong word: to emphasize. Because love has made you part of a small family, only hate can again make you a part of the whole. But by'hate' he does not mean'hatred'. By'hate' he simply means: annihilate the love, the attachment.

In India we have been using the word ASUKTI RAG: attachment, being colored by the attachment. Be nonattached, renounce. Renounce the small so that you can find the whole. And this is the beauty: that if you renounce the part, the small family, and attain to the great family, suddenly you will realize that the small family is there in the great. Because where will it go? In the small family, the great family is not there; but in the great family, the small family is there.

When the whole earth becomes your home, your home is included in it. But when your only home is your home, the whole earth is not included in it. When the whole sky becomes yours, the small sky that you used to think is yours is there.

The greater includes the smaller, the smaller cannot include the greater. Your father, your mother, your children, your wife, will be there - not as your mother, as your father, as your wife, but as gods. In fact, you have not taken anything away from them. On the contrary, you have given something to them. Before they were ordinary human beings; now they will be divine. Your renunciation has not destroyed anything. On the contrary, it has revealed much. Lose the small so that you can gain the whole, and that small will be regained again, in greater glory.

But in the beginning it will seem that you are moving away from love, because that is the only love you know: the love of the family, the love of the country.

That is the only love you know. And it is a false love because unless the love includes the whole it can never be satisfactory. Love is vast and can only be fulfilled by the vast.

Unless you love God, you will love in vain. Your love will create frustrations, it will never give you a contentment. Love needs such a vast phenomenon to fill it that only God can do that. No father, no mother, no wife, no children, no brother, no sister, no friend can do that - unless God comes to you as a father, or your father appears to you to be a god.

Unless the wife becomes the whole, or the whole become.s the wife, you will not be fulfilled. That's why there is so much misery because of love. You love the part and you expect the whole. That's the misery. You love the small and you want the great. It cannot be fulfilled. Hence, frustration. Whenever you fall in love with a man, you expect something divine. Every lover expects it. And when it is not delivered you are hurt, and you feel you have been cheated. Then the misery of love arises.

Expectations are great and the reality is very tiny. You expect from the wrong sources: you want a small stream to become the ocean. It cannot, it is helpless.

When your eyes are open to the reality, and the dream disappears and the honeymoon is over... a small tiny stream. And you were thinking of the ocean!

Now you are crestfallen, frustrated, wounded deeply in the heart.

Love wounds because you expect the whole from the part. And this is the only love that you know. This love is not exactly love. It is attachment. There is a greater love which arises only when your eyes are open to the vast, to the infinite, to God.

When Jesus says'hate' he simply says: whatsoever your love is, is worth nothing.

Move to the opposite, move to the other extreme. Drop all this nonsense that you call love. It is not love. It may be fear - fear of loneliness - but it is not a sharing of being. It is a game of the ego, and love cannot be a game of the ego. You drop all this - and by dropping all this, tremendous possibilities open.

First, if you drop all so-called love - the love of the father, the mother, the brother, the sister, the family, the wife - if you really drop it, suddenly your identity will be lost. Who will be then, who will be you then? If somebody asks you right now you say, "I am somebody's son, somebody's brother, somebody's husband, somebody's father. This is my religion. This is my country. This is the group I belong to." You have something to say about yourself.

Think: if you belong to no country, if you belong to no sect, no church, no denomination; if you have cut all bonds from your family - father, mother, wife - - and you are absolutely alone, who are you then? How will you say who you are? By cutting the attachments you have killed your ego.

That is the meaning of Jesus. He says: through your attachments, your ego exists and gets nourishment. Cut all the attachments and suddenly the ego collapses. It has nowhere to stand, nothing to be supported by. Suddenly it collapses, and in that collapse you are born for the first time. For the first time you are YOU - not somebody's son, not somebody's husband, not somebody's father. For the first time you are simply there, in your absolute nakedness, purity, innocence. You are undefined, all definitions gone. Suddenly you start throbbing with a new heart; you become part of the whole. That small family that was surrounding you and creating a boundary is no more there.

You became small because of the attachment to the family. You become vast once that attachment is transcended. That's why Jesus uses a very strong word. He says HATE because less than that won't do.

  Osho ~ Come Follow To You, Vol 2

[Veggies]

In general, ridding myself of toxic relationships must be a good idea.

I wonder if @Leo Hira I mean @Leo Gura has anything to add.

 

Super valuable and life-changing matters for me.

 

No more Mr Veggies makes me fart

[Happy Livingston]

I cut all my toxic relations when after several openhearted advertisments the subject has been ignored and not improved. The first cut was made by my own choice seventeen years ago and with time it has become a golden rule for me. I never regretted it. I am completely free and independent. It also forces me to take complete responsability for all and every aspect of my life and my everyday journey towards cheerfulness. If I get in to trouble I only have myself to go to for support. Many people are afraid of this and cling on to others "just in case", I don't want to do that. Good luck/buona fortuna...or should I say: buon viaggio/have good journey;)

[Veggies]

On 11.6.2017 at 7:31 PM, Happy Livingston said:

I cut all my toxic relations when after several openhearted advertisments the subject has been ignored and not improved. The first cut was made by my own choice seventeen years ago and with time it has become a golden rule for me. I never regretted it. I am completely free and independent. It also forces me to take complete responsability for all and every aspect of my life and my everyday journey towards cheerfulness. If I get in to trouble I only have myself to go to for support. Many people are afraid of this and cling on to others "just in case", I don't want to do that. Good luck/buona fortuna...or should I say: buon viaggio/have good journey;)

Evangelist.