If Im God then whats the point?

[ambush]

So I have noticed a recurring thought over the past maybe 2 years or so. I’ve been listening to Leo's work for 6-7 years now, and while I have certainly had a good amount of experiences with psychedelics, I have also learned quite a lot from just actualized.org alone. I’ve always been contemplative but LSD is what started this journey for me because it's what made me realize God is real, being a former super atheist who used to make fun of thiests. Anyways, I believe that my first LSD trip could have been a first hand experience with God consciousness. I remember feeling something indescribable while peaking. I remember thinking that I wanted to feel like that forever. My friend was there too and we were both outside in his backyard. All I could say was “Greg?” I’ve still never quite had a feeling like that, but I can’t say for sure it was a peak of God consciousness. 

I’m getting to the point now, basically, and this is in no way a diss to Leo’s work or actualized.org. But the knowledge that I am actually God has in a way discouraged me from seeking out guidance. It’s like, when I'm having dark moments, I want to be able to conjure or seek out some sort of source that can help me, but I don’t because… I am God, and everything else is just me. So, why would I do that? I had this sort of insight where it feels like I got the ending of a movie spoiled for me, and now I’ve lost all desire to watch it. If that makes sense. The sucky part is that I am God but at the same time I have no idea what I am doing, and it feels like the power of God isn’t being used right. In the “Explaining paranormal phenomena” video, Leos talks about channeling aliens and other things and how these things are actually possible and people do them. I think that’s cool and would like to try, but then the wind is sort of taken out of my sails because I remember I am God and what could an alien possibly tell me that is more of a mindfuck than that? It’s funny though, because I realize that I am literally asking you all for help/thoughts/input right now. So maybe I am missing something here. Any thoughts are appreciated. If this post is too long please let me know.

Edited 7 hours ago by ambush
used than instead of then in title.

[Hojo]

@ambush I think you are halfway not knowing what you are doing. Like not knowing but getting frustrated because you dont know. Take the frustration away and you will truely no know and will just do whatever you want.

Kinda like you still think you know what God wants you to do, probably pre programmed bs. if you really didnt know what you are doing it will be funny.

Edited 7 hours ago by Hojo

[Inliytened1]

3 hours ago, ambush said:

So I have noticed a recurring thought over the past maybe 2 years or so. I’ve been listening to Leo's work for 6-7 years now, and while I have certainly had a good amount of experiences with psychedelics, I have also learned quite a lot from just actualized.org alone. I’ve always been contemplative but LSD is what started this journey for me because it's what made me realize God is real, being a former super atheist who used to make fun of thiests. Anyways, I believe that my first LSD trip could have been a first hand experience with God consciousness. I remember feeling something indescribable while peaking. I remember thinking that I wanted to feel like that forever. My friend was there too and we were both outside in his backyard. All I could say was “Greg?” I’ve still never quite had a feeling like that, but I can’t say for sure it was a peak of God consciousness. 

I’m getting to the point now, basically, and this is in no way a diss to Leo’s work or actualized.org. But the knowledge that I am actually God has in a way discouraged me from seeking out guidance. It’s like, when I'm having dark moments, I want to be able to conjure or seek out some sort of source that can help me, but I don’t because… I am God, and everything else is just me. So, why would I do that? I had this sort of insight where it feels like I got the ending of a movie spoiled for me, and now I’ve lost all desire to watch it. If that makes sense. The sucky part is that I am God but at the same time I have no idea what I am doing, and it feels like the power of God isn’t being used right. In the “Explaining paranormal phenomena” video, Leos talks about channeling aliens and other things and how these things are actually possible and people do them. I think that’s cool and would like to try, but then the wind is sort of taken out of my sails because I remember I am God and what could an alien possibly tell me that is more of a mindfuck than that? It’s funny though, because I realize that I am literally asking you all for help/thoughts/input right now. So maybe I am missing something here. Any thoughts are appreciated. If this post is too long please let me know.

Try to get yourself out of this thought loop.  You kind of trapped yourself with the realizations but more importantly if you have only had a glimpse of God Consciousness how can you be certain you are God? Have you had an awakening yet that you are God? Because if you had then I think you would have integrated it properly and wouldn't be in this thought loop.  This is kinda what happens when you take things on as a belief.  So try to get yourself out of this because I think it is going to make you more nihilistic as that is what it appears to be doing when it should be a positive.  I'm sure part of it is but the negative part would make me want to change my thinking. 

Edited 3 hours ago by Inliytened1