day game, my biggest lessons

[Olaf]

A few things I am learning about day game. First of all, if you get rejected over and over again, it is a you problem. Now, there are a few problems I had that I discovered and have improved my day game.

The first one would be the most important one, and that is volume. You need to speak loudly for people to hear you. If they can't hear you, you are not being rejected: you are simply not being heard. Sometimes I almost yell, like on the edge of talking and yelling and actually when they are far away and you almost yell, that is not weird, it is actually safe for them as you are being loud and public, instead of sneaky and private. Remember, loud feels safe, quiet is sneaky and feels unsafe to people.

Another thing I did wrong for a long time was approaching way too late. You have to approach them when they are around 5 feet in front of you. Some people approach from the back or the side. I don't like that, and therefore I can't say how to do that. Yet if you approach from the front, you have to approach them early, like when they are 5 feet in front of you.

Another thing would be screening. Sometimes you are rejecting people and screening them before you have even approached them, which is fine to do. Yet it can get you too much in your head, so when you are in your head, just get out of it by approaching everyone, girls, guys, it doesn't fucking matter. I do it every time I feel myself getting too much in my head about the screening process before the initial approach.

Another thing that helped me a lot is telling them where to stand. Take control from the beginning. Sometimes I start off with a hook and after that telling them where to stand so they don't keep walking, setting the tone that you are the one in control. They are doing you a favor and investing in you instead of you chasing and investing in them.

The last thing I would say is your energy. Literally be smiling or just make your state more positive because you are going to get rejected, and you need to remain positive despite the setbacks, which helps you build true confidence. Doing day game should make you start to feel more confident by the hour. If it is a downward spiral of self-attack, you are taking this way too seriously. We are just being social, nothing more, like talking to a neighbor.

Oh yeah, and if you make weak eye contact with someone before approaching, like you were blinking, giving a half smile, or whatever, you can already tell they are probably not going to open because you fucked up before you even started. Many times I don't try to make eye contact until the approach itself, meaning when they are about 5 feet in front of me.

The last thing I would say is that the easiest way to get into state, at least for me, is to rapid approach in the busiest area of your city. Think of the main shopping street in your area on a busy weekend. You can approach 10 people in one minute, guys, girls, everyone. Don't expect anything from it. Boom, you're in state within a minute or two.

Then later on, you can lose that state again by becoming too serious or screening too much about who to approach. When that happens, you can get back into state within a minute by doing what I just said. It is okay to take breaks or look at you're phone for a few mins, make yourself feel comfortable at the street, it is not a race to approach as much as possible, this is only to get into state when you are out of state, sometimes taking a break helps me to get into state too as it is grounding, gets you out of desperation or validation seeking, which is basically the downward spiral of self-attack.

Hope this helps someone, and if anyone also has their own advice on day game, let me know. I am happy to hear what you've got.

Btw when I get rejected nowadays it is a very polite, "I am sorry I got to go somewhere, but have a great day." This is when you know you are doing well, because now they hear you, they respectfully acknowledge you and if you are very grounded, they respect you and will even reject you with way more respect. So you know you are doing great when they start to acknowledge you and when they politely reject you instead of ignoring your existence, which is probably one of the issues I listed here before.