The Insatiable Allure of Sexuality is one of Reality's most Twisted Aspects

[Zenterus]

How can something so biologically stimulating and enticing result in such shallow experiences?

I've spent the last 10 years of my life fighting to satiate my Lust. A decade I've spent in the game: cold approaching, optimizing my dating and social media apps, building social circles, prospecting, sharpening my communication skills and learning about high value behaviors and flirting and escalation and so on and so forth.

And I may have enjoyed only a handful of the vast experiences I've accumulated throughout my journey.

I've written in this forum before about how I struggled so much to transcend the hedonistic player lifestyle and how it kept pulling me back in, despite leaving me more and more numb each time. Well, gentlemen and gentleladies, I'm happy to say that I genuinely feel like I've taken a huge step towards that direction. I'm holding myself back from saying that I've fully transcended it as not to jinx it

However, with this new-found inner peace that I've finally realized within myself comes a lot of wisdom.

These days, I spend my time studying, working, contemplating, enjoying the present and being. I don't feel a strong calling to fuck or to pursue women who I don't feel a particularly strong potential for a real genuine relationship with -- which basically means I'm not pursuing any women right now -- and, in fact, I seldom even watch porn or masturbate. Although when I do actually do those things... I notice an interesting phenomenon..

Despite me knowing that the pursuit of sexual and hedonistic desire is all smoke and mirrors through first hand experience, when watching porn or reading some erotica or fantasizing some hot scenario during acts of self-love, I still feel a part of me craving this overwhelmingly "sinful" lifestyle.

A part of me glamorizes sex and its pursuit. It glamorizes the idea of partying and dealing with different girls and taking them home and using them for their body and having dirty unprotected sex and finishing up inside them or on their face or on their feet -- I'm a man of culture, you see -- and doing it all over again with young and old, hot and average, black and white and asian and tall and short and every permutation of woman that is out there.

There's something so alluring to it.

Thankfully, I have enough experiences and wisdom to know that that is only the more primal, impulsive, lizard-brain parts of my psyche speaking to me and I pay them no mind, yet it fascinates me how one of Reality's most tempting and biologically seductive aspects, is also one of its most unfulfilling and, eventually, self-destructive aspects, if engaged perpetually. 

Being that sex hits our most primal of instincts and releases dopamine and oxytocin and there's the power-elements, the validation, the intimacy, the "love" etc, etc, you'd think they'd be more to it; but in the end, it's almost like a cosmic joke. It's like the Devil pranking you, or something.

Now, don't get me wrong.. sex can be amazing when it's coupled with genuine intimacy, connection and integrity and people do have wildly different relationships to it. But for me, I found it to be one of my life's biggest distractions and stressors -- due to pregnancy and STD scares, weird situations with various girls, etc.

In the end, all I want, truthfully, is just one amazing woman who I share values with, a connection with and who I love deeply and who loves me. That's it. Everything else is a fallacy.

Edited 2 hours ago by Zenterus

[LordFall]

If you use sexuality as escapism to neglect the other areas of your life then that's a recipe for disaster. If your love of sexuality is not trauma based and is based on a love of sensual experiences and sharing that with others then don't demonize it. Use it as your muse. Build a business/career that gives you time flexibility and indulge in all the sexuality you want. 

It's funny you write this out now we just had a huge debate in the other thread over it; here is my whole perspective if you care to read it: 

Use AI to serve as a coach to identify the key parts of life where you're underperforming, solve them, make a lot of cash and enjoy what the world has to offer. I wouldn't call it twisted I would call it a gift. Don't let it turn into a curse and you'll have your cake and eat it too. What else is the point of cake?