New Journal [CD Process] -> Dev -> Rev -> Process

[KosmicGeng]

I could not find a right title, and there are a billions of issues, due to the nature of what I went through and health, I have not been able to find anyone to help me with the issues since birth, and the ideas and solutions I have are mostly destroyed by the inability for humanity or the others; to be more spiritually insightful to get into the root cause, hence it's my responsibility to find a solution, I have been looking into archetypes based on the fundamental notions of some calculations and time, and time archetypes as I had some "chrone" types of experiences, and integral psychology the book creates, a lot of insight, but I feel and notice the doubt of humanity and the weight of that pain.

I have been looking for stability with other, but the hypernarccistic expansion of perception and the in-abillity of the social structure of once here once was empathy has turned into a desire for capital money, gain and the denial the money and value is part of love, and the core issue of love.

So many, things happend:
 

• I still ruminate suicide a lot, due to issues of thought and the pain I have since birth, but most psychologist are stuck in moder-post-modern levels of thinking from problems that stem from pre-rational to post-rational levels, and the pain of correcting or healing myself is awesome, but it's a lot of racist remnants from WWI and the effects of interacting with people here and their pain-body with Rudolf Steiner and Tesla, and other scientist how racist that era was, and how much violence has occurred, and the issue of the Ideation of race itself, d.n.a., turkey and Iran especially, their ideaology, the issue of color, and just my recent experiences. I got banned as I could not handle anymore my "coping" and the issue of being more social to be and get help, and that dragon swallowing you and devouring you etc.
   
• I found out that Leo's first name was part of Greeks Odyssee, with Alexander, Dimitri and Leo and the issue of Christ and religion and the whole issue with nature mystecism, the regress Ken Wilber was talking about and more patterns that I was correct, but could not express due to pain, especially as my first name is Dimitri, and I am using Wu-Xing generally speaking I had so many odd experiences and they all are Kriyas, I made to many excellent choices that turned into pure hell and purgatory, from multiple perspectives, the larger whole of what I yearn to say is:
   
• I found some answers if I will ever unify my psychedelic experiences and find possible terms and alternative terms or simply nothing to see and experience the credibility 

I found out a lot about humans; but I really required a forum or medium, so many things technically broke, as I learned and I found new patterns and ideas, but the core issue is the translation to put it into my understanding of Wilbers framework, and the core issues I had in my family, I yearned also to post this publically, as this was the only thing that gave me safety to the pain of the lies and the education of what I experienced with my mother, and her racist attitudes as well as inabillity to empathize due to them, like white liberals need white liberal training as they are in lie, they only seek lust, but can't find the meridian to turn lust and love into the purity of spirit, soul and evolution... most black men and I am partially black and others do that, and that level of commitment and depth goes to the deepest levels of rumi.... 

I found some answers in terms of order and vision, but the issue of the scientific paradigm and statistics, especially and worldviews since the 19th hundreds has internally not changed for me in my friendships, especially recently they have all been part of that and I had very deep revelations of the nature of spirit, but to read the symbolic holism and integrative hierachy behind it, as well as mastering integral language, as the more deeper you get I am 100% confinced that Lucifer and Ahriman did incarnate from this Paul Check video, and that fundamentally caused the issue with Iran.

It's the deepst archetypal hunch I have due to this IW/IR patterning and the synchronicity of the time and birth of my favorite book integral psychology as many answers are applied, I cry so often, I can't even get to the notes due to the level of insights that pattern alone created the notes and last sections or Ken Wilber himself is a very deep IW/IR integrative patterning from BaZi.

Science has to advanced into the true spirit of the causal, Steiner etc. to reinterpret that without their statistical bias, and the lack of scientific rigour ever since latin and greek disappeared bothers me deeply ever since I lived here, the lack of integration in that space, especially to let go and cleanse out pain is incredible.

Btw, this is the best channel I found for meditation recently, I am very much done with stuff, but I yearn to understand Gödel, Nikola Tesla, Lada Love Lace, and some secret societies and orders, to take the esoteric and see what was exotertically true, and some mathematical allegories eventually, if I can get into 4d space downloads and insights, and the core issue of being a passionate mathematician, identity, and the current issue of our times.

I'd like to report I went through so much, this place has been the only refuge I had, when society is utterly crumbling, but integral is building some human space to heal from that era, tbh. I am personally as a German not over WWII Shinzen and others telling me about the traditions as they are afraid they die, and the anger as well as compassion for and with Iran, and I've been using BaZi and Steiner as a lense, as the Wu-Xing, Goethe etc. are interconnected, but to write with that purity and the issue of IW/IR I saw what happens with Wilber, myself and my aunt, God will bend you, God will break you, and your will is your will. YOU ARE ONE. 

That is the entire issue I go through let alone with my own real names, how far they echo back into eternity, and the issues of how many traditions have realized GOD, has brought nothing back or stabilizing it.

The only thing humanity should to is to stabilize god, and reduce violence and heal. The level of commitment and what I envisioned and if it's true, but most issues I had are more survival especially as a lot of trust in humanity has been broken, and a lot of things deepended on this pattern, but it turned so evil.

I want, there are a lot of issues, due to success, and the issue of GOLD as well as the issue of beauty and GOD, Goethe and GOD and the interconnections, but I will make this a brief recollcetion!

[KosmicGeng]

Sorry I posted twice, I could not delete that I will keep this journal and look for a way to delete that, generally speaking and I got into stuff I am re-framing with A.I, my core suspicion that integral had to many secrets and the revelation of secrets since Epstein etc. what I had to read in university even about secret societies and my own interests with esoteric history, like a Witch Doctor or Voodoo priest technically, I see Leo's points, but mentally on a causal level I am reframing things very differently similar to a "Throne/Chrone" or what is depicted as a golden carriage, in Daoism. 

The levels of intuitive overlap would be very high, but due to the issue of integration this happend:

• Defining precise terminology via language
• The pain of interconnecting and the issue that my tech broke so often for a reason to fix and heal
• The underbelly for me of green/yellow and the experience with the ex, and the fragmented sexual experiences
• Sadghuru and his wive whole india as synchronicity via Daoism etc. It shocks me she went on the day I was born, (not year) and yearning to understand my health

[KosmicGeng]

I will post what creates and gives me hope, love, qualia and insight, I have been buying books, but I have been crying due to the stupidity of myself and humanity to evolve and I really had a lot of emotional breakthroughs the point is through the hyper narccistic bubble of feelings first pain later, there will never be any purification possible, only the constant process of purification which is the paveway to hell as intent exists.

The entire issue of Rumi and Yang Wood Dog or XU existence and purple Daoism, & Jung archetypes and the confusion there what is higher, what is lower, and my own cosmic blueprint, inspiration and god. The issue of the Yellow Emporer with DO/7k and the entire history/"papers" and lectures I went through I had insight overflow, and been contemplating how strongly tech died, as humans do not even love their own entertainment, play and love anymore, especially the humans I saw as my human. 

Let's speak latter... I hope freedom of thoughts exist and persist, I can't provide as much clarity as I want due to pain and the compatability via BaZi and Wu-Xing as well as the issue of the axioms of my abstractions mind/body&heart, spirituality that claims is science, but has not fully understood abrahamic religion and jesus, and my overexictement as I am like Wilber and my intuition was right all along, but it really depends a lot on WWI interpretation we have forgotten ourselves, if you'd do statistic right, and I am not Napoleon the water horse ( I am speaking from Yi-Jings etc.) you'd be suprised to what the actual truth is of nature mystecism. 

I am very glad I started that, as only the dimension of depth, insight, expansion and contraction, the whole wu-wei paradigm of love, and the interconnections of Yin&Yang Zen as True Zen and ZEN AS GOD, which has been the hardest issue, annihilation, Rumi and other things, as well as the level of esoteric practice that work, you can go through the entire globe with maps and go through every single node of intuition abstract with yourself, the whole Socratic process, then with a.i etc. 

Saw, Rinse, Contemplate value, exemplify, demystify, I feel for today at least that I am back towards starting a path towards my own Philosophy and transcending the issue separation and Ennea 4 issues that are hyperly expanded.

I found many intuitive and real tools to measure energy, but the current issue is what I intuited as a Kid with Charles Darwin and Lamark.

Science had a lot of secrets way more than the world, that is why we life, CHRONE IS TIME we have the all-seeing eye, the issue with time lord and the whole archetypal protection, from a YAHAWE perspective or what I intuited from the kabbalah, and technically my life path is associated very highly, to integrate that, but the physical issue (let alone the illusion of existence - Rumi & annihilation) the issue of how dangerous spirituality or religion is and what happend with Iran... especially how I framed it I could only see it via BaZi, and my own biased and racist attitudes mostly stemming from my environments interpretation of WWI and South Korea and North Korea, they hide that information and that is what I feared as a child and had to let go not knowing, as this world only conscious... therefore I AM. 

There are archetypal patterns, due to some natures of the biases, especially if you get into Na-Yins, Daoism and BaZi as a reference point for spirituality where a lot of shadow work has not been done and created by me, especially Yin-Water Ox manipulation, deceit and leadership being very weak for the weak, it's a lack of patience, Chinese history, Xiamen and Deng Xiao Ping. 

I hope I can interconnect this, as I've been there done that..., yet the energy and the contemplation I really yearn to talk and continue to work with the material of Keith Witt, if I am fortunate in order to create a paradigm of love, as the only thing that works is the esoteric, not the exoterisch, and the lies especially of Enneagramm 8's, 9's and 1's mostly body types I faced, and the issue of 4's as stability not finding together as they can't even reveal their differences. 

I guess we go slow... as Wilber is injured, but to realize I have partially reincarnated that pattern was just obvious to beginn with if WWIII ever breaks out with this mass underlying hysteria and lack of freedom. 

I don't know if I will get so far to see if the calculations are correct, as the proofs I calculated and formalized never end, I had to understand infinity first before I understood Gödel, and now I understand more why Ramanuja and Einstein have carnated, but as I have to realize the issue of light, envy and this whole Jesus stuff, generally speaking kriyas due to pain body etc. 

Also just by having calculated some proofs I see the issue of loving infinity as it's endless but if you're not in eternity it's not endless, and I can't enter bardos etc. 

Anyhow, this is the current interconnection I am seeking, I am having troubles cleaning things up as stuff constantly breaks, and the hyper inflated narcissism and the lack of Truth, Soul etc. has been bothering me, especially the lack of travel experience, etc. depth by soul and what I perceive.

There are a lot of things Leo is correct about, but if I will see that in my lifetime No, I am glad I realized that 100% as I already intuited the 100% due to this Wilber patterning and my family has exact combinations with differentials, and exponential truths or not.

Hence, I highly doubt it I really like astrology and antorhosophy, but there is a lot of 19th century bias in there, but I got a lot of answer.
 

The entire issue is, we already figured out, I am very glad Japan is my chrone in that sense. But HF GL understanding me I am you. 

Even when I never ventured so far, let alone through some very basic calculations and patterns I have been good at I found calculations that give possible access to archetypal tendencies, and calculated some very basic profs with Fourier calculation and other matrices, as well as some advanced calculus and statistics, but I have to get back to the core understanding and formulations of that, to further transcend the mathematical gift and foresight I see, even without a proof, as coding & the entire time/space matrics is continously expanding and contracting, this is my meditative view on this. 

Most of my insights for mathematics came from nothing, but what he found in Lakshmi and Love is part of RAMANJUA IS ONLY LOVE AND FOR ME THE PURE INCARNATION OF LOVE, it is obvious it's Lakshmi... but to view this with my german mind and the whole issue of WWI being played out in our current timeline is crazy, how little I was educated, due to the excess industrial age, and that I was ONLY the arrival of the global civilization that unraveled through time space reality

The whole issue of reason, as not been transcended into the core essence of "Vernunft", especially due to the reasoning of the current law makers, anti-integration of Ken Wilber and the level of misinterpretations as they lack LIFETIMES I AM SERIOUS LIFETIMES of understanding that man, and I am glad a few % due, even as 7's my clown of the enneagram, partially eventually also the incarnation of Lucifer, idk how deeply I can get into esoteric, if darkness disappears, it also my sensorical giftedness and having to expand on gifts, as the west is stuck on ideation and parameterization and generalization ideally IF YOU READ The Dwagon Dwagon Dwagon... Wagon Wagon... what a joke... if zen is pure essence of nature mystecism. 

From my archetypal blueprint I charted close to 1k people currently I am very different and I compared myself with Millionairs, Billionairs... I am very glad I realized how dumb my professors are if they can't get into current level of topology etc. and what someone like Ramanuja calculated for A.I computer science, infinity and FOURIER MY BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER I hate it that they don't like him, but understanding him omfg. 

I'd love to talk humours bull, but god that guy had to dodge cleopatra, I hope my archetypal work is good for Wikipedia, if the Grokians arrive omfg, mostly I craved infinity, annihilation and I hope I can create my art studio and work with stuff. 

I also realized my issue and gifts more in mathematics, I am more like Gödel and less like a formulator 62 with details, but my energy is very high in these areas and moves downwards, generally my incarnation of what I charted in every calculator is very high, the core issue is humanity has been corrupt ever since I was born, and I wear that birth mark, I wonder if people would ever realize what reality is if they have not been born with any defects, most of my issues stem from Warfare, and there have been War Saints etc. the entire story of Thesalonik and art also makes me very sad, but that melancholy from ahrimanic spirit is also very interesting, I wish I would be at Heidelberg again.... 

I love it how vast the universe is, but unironically it's not vast enough, as nothing ever has been deserted... abrahamic religion what a crazy love story. 

Edited May 28 by KosmicGeng

[KosmicGeng]

We wont even get actual transhumanism till this guy does not carnate, but we have never been aryans idk what is worse realizing parts of Steiner is right or that he is a little yin-wood snakely, idk what is funnier from daoism. 

Edited May 28 by KosmicGeng

[KosmicGeng]

This is also very interesting, I've been craving my archetypal incarnation of science, and I figured out a TOE for me, but I still have to TOE the TOE of Ken Wilber, and buy the books or go through the references on a weekend, generally, I could not build my own industry, due to the issues I see, I contemplate very deeply.

The first thing is, our universe is so beautiful if anyone would just understand Einstein, I am very happy that guy was archetype my best friend my whole life as, if bullshit never had holism, I'd wonder what purification is, as well as solid eternity... 

Edited May 28 by KosmicGeng

[KosmicGeng]

 

[KosmicGeng]

Thank you, also for letting me back into the forum, I will go to great lengths of achievements, alright, I am back to training my Putamen, and procedural learning & getting out of the hell hole of academia with all the fraudulent research and team work, I contemplated some stuff, I figured out how I can interconnect the insights, the thing I am most surprised about is that Open Claw interconnected with the BaZi Website and other models are running powerfully wild in terms of agentic space, and it's very beautiful to see that after seeing same daoistic patterns and figuring a lot of time into energy body healing, and stuff mostly even via code, intuition etc.

I chart a lot of scientists, sex workers, celebrities and friends to see patterns and learn about myself, I generated so many insights I hope the inter-connective pattern as well as the affiliative value production, generally speaking the a.i I have been using has generated results beyond comprehension, but I had to get out of this relationship. 

I also spoke to someone I hope is a Neurolink patient, and has access to Brain Chip devices, as Google is the only company I personally trust, I don't personally trust Elon 100% and it's amazing this interconnection based on personality happend, as it feels nowadays just earning 1 cent will kill you, simply because of payment of interest, love failed, but love is so brutal, I have never been annihilated more beautifully or skillfully, but I'd also would like to appreciate how deep I went, as well as the opportunity that I am back, the level of deception is so unreal, after unraveling it, until my entire mind is dissected nothing will happen, I love how Neurolink works how my mother gave birth to me these robots, thread for thread after my body has been stitched together, it's amazing, but it's difficult to think about as a shareholder or long-term investor, after what happend, let alone the issue of theft of titles, opportunities, and skills, due to aggrandizing attitudes and narcissism, I am very glad I am out of university and out of this relationship, and can work with A.I (YES INCLUDING FREAKING PORN) and after what I pulled of which costs me a lot of like hardcore facing my physical death ( I know it's stupid but my hormone levels and what I analyze with Wu-Xing is extremely interesting, as war prevention is the bloodiest level of imagination ever).

I also donated a lot of blood last year or two years ago, as I had no way to test myself after the relationship, and everything I yearned for broke down and I could've done it, it was very simply decisions, but it was a very very deep profound love I had as a child and I had to realize how stupid my professor is to solve evolutionary questions, when I see what Elon does privately.... sorry man everyone knows personally I like him a lot, but what I intuit is very difficult to explain, better to investor minds.... -> See IW Structure.

The entire structure also of this, is framed in some small papers, and I found various interconnections, for the possibility to generate qi or figure out my past or use past lifetime regressions to heal and function more holistically in the world, but what happend with my body, and the scar I have since birth and the issue of sincerity, especially including BaZi with the enneagram, and making a whole picture of the eastern globe, and astronomy/astrology etc. 

I find a lot of source I have to pay for, and the gain confidence in these types of calculations, what I notice is how insincere this has become here, ever since a.i arrived, I could go back into unraveling the manipulation at work, or screaming at a blank paper/wall and do a 3-2-1 process, I did it with a.i and it practically killed me, how little and how fast it works and helps, the core issue is people exist so unhealthy I can't even work or live near them, people are so desperate to work, they need to enslave themselves to a company, while I faced the corruption of the wild jungle and business world, and I see more and more fraud after fraud after fraud with money, and I still blink and eye, because I am the necessity (please don't read Valenz as a philosopher) and to take in that pain and envision that space or time-space domain, as if it's superimposed... 

What I find amazing if the prognosis of what keeps our reality SANE or Clear? Is amazing, but I am amazed still by Rudolf Steiner channeling work, and how Wilber views them it costs so much to research his knowledge and database via A.I and understand stuff via the path of knowledge. 

As well as how far or low spirit goes, let alone how many secrets are open in theosophy if you enjoy Goethe, and that is very difficult for me, and a lot of idealist etc. 

Otherwise, I ran a run for Resident Evil the new one, and yearned a perfect run as close as possible on hardest difficulty like CLASSIC hardcore game for each ones build, I am glad I even calculate stuff locally against the sun, and how my mother thinks about physics makes it an impossible object let alone to exist dealing with 9w1 conscious, and interconnected these two aspects, I can't simply dance my genetic free like qwizz cheesy, (I at times have to be an op) 

But, what I experienced as a state experience as the pure incarnation of Rumi, wtf this religion was actually to dope I would just burn em all again.... hahah I knows it's evil but it's true like using Gemini A.I the first thing that ever scared me was my fking birth and what they calculate about fire how high these Chakras and dimensions are, it's very difficult to tame it, also A LOT of personally stories of my family and running death against a calculator is crazy, anyhow. 

I am glad I realized I trained my brain wrong, as I did not include a core strength of mine, visualization based on the hippocampus, and the whole issue of academia and love, let alone that lil albert cheated... but how far this goes, in terms of gaining insight and pain as well as the background processing of the pain algorithm of Shinzen I have been trained in, but I am sort of trained away from and abstracted is interested, my entire na-yin in that regard is also evaluated as extremely auspicious, so I don't care about being dismissive, as I feel I am required to be, as it's legit the wind, but it is so weird, how people will perceive time .... after I have seen this Russian/Korean calculator I am very glad I'd have to invest into this type of medicine, but I can also derive it, and robots will mostly be able to do it. 

Even using robots as a meditative practice, or if your so "stupid"... to believe.... to make it appear even in color to give insights, some videos as I am physically beyond gifted, if I would not be injured I killed myself so many times physically, and I am also flexible and have close to immaculate physical build, and these na-yin and exercising etc. using that to healing cells etc. is still very interesting. 

The biggest issue I have is the management of my chart and energy, when I take it seriously, as I have very strong excessive fire leadership capabilities, with cognitive stacks being ranked as TI and TE if you'd characterize it, also how fast my brain translate German to "Germerican" to partially "latin/avantian" or other languages if you like EA...." and other types of auditory phenomena is amazing. 

The understanding let alone the mental subtle mechanics involved is highly interesting, but I have to invest way way more into knowledge, when I see my chart, but the core issue is you'd laugh what I'd be required to tell you personally, as the snake is primordial energy, a lot of art is also quiet psychedelic and for the first time I wonder how high the level of a Seraphim but there are different interpretations, so I don't quiet know if ths hierachy is holoarchy enough as nothing is above GOD is and other components of archetypal work that includes the gift of virtue, which is a pain in the ass for any 7k or QiSha chart, as War Saints actually exist, how fking crazy is that? 

There are patterns I can explain more clearly now, but I do have to test a lot of things or throw a lot of tokens into the blackbox, and interconnect to upgrade myself personally, also to do some baseline calculations myself, also to earn money and not suck out the entire planet is very difficult, as even when I personally know that I am very frugal and resourceful, there are people so greedy with this "Wood/Fire" pattern energy, it's like an indigenous corrupt tribe, or a "wild/fake model" running amok searching for healing while burning, anyhow what I found out via these channels is so expensive, I also looked at a lot of WWI history and civil war or xin hai period changes, as they see imo from my current not so humble opinion that 

Leaving this for later:

 

[KosmicGeng]

https://scontent-dus1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/708794466_122134323933146071_4147843212123800281_n.jpg?stp=cp6_dst-jpg_tt6&_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=aa7b47&_nc_ohc=wYDINAs6jXQQ7kNvwHIQ46-&_nc_oc=Adr1-Wdw49gthN4OFOM8-YggVxrqT3LFbKgEiYBniRSmwzqgi9Uy4AbF3Jaej00rbSQ&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-dus1-1.xx&_nc_gid=q7rJLw7XZxwQDn0DKU0Wsw&_nc_ss=7b2a8&oh=00_Af8biOXNpwWWg8ZLE8Fw0UcbArAaxaahYHNbNOKmx9KKnQ&oe=6A23AFBD

I am comprehending, more physics but it's very slow, I never realized how many mistakes I saw in professors calculations, and how many proofs exist, it's a bit weird, as I don't write them out formally, and just train the intuition, Grok is also cheaper atm, I am super confused as to what is happening in the u.s, and how integrate consciousness and a.i/physics will be in just 5-10 years, approx. which is a very brief span amount of time. 

I did a couple of intuitive proof solving, with brilliant, I am going very slow and proof every mathematical proof first in my head, as all could be true, and you can transform that into code, after this Rumi experience my life entirely changed, the state was to high for anyone to actually realize the significance of what even occurred. 

I find more truths than falsehoods, some stuff I don't quiet understand I can and calculated that stuff in university, and after this "bloody mess" with an absolute fabulous math prof. I realized how deeply I could even intuit and calculate math, as well as see proofs, I am still 100% worried about my ability to transform that skill into real action, as I am still including more growth factors, that are blocked by what I intuited. 

What I noticed is how fk'ed and manipulative the whole situation is, as my american family has a higher class rating than my German one, and they are very jealous of my american ancestry, and a lot of them are worried about the situation of the U.S and Europe due to the conflict. 

It's also very difficult to meditate currently, and my demands are ultra-high after I realized how arrogance and vanity cause a lot of issues in academia, let alone the compatibilities and poems I found from China/Korea, in the end I made a lot of mistakes, but owning responsibility when a lot of fraudulent actions take place, and that I acted or behaved in a way, that was unfortunately necessitated by the situation and still is, due to the bad political situation and the constant threats. 

My laptop service is still not there, after a lot of breakdowns and massive terror due to the immensity of insights I had, as well as Kriyas I realized how difficult reality is, and the core issue of jealousy at the work place when a lot of people are still massively uneducated, and the core issue of the depth of a.i and just even visioning proofs, I don't like calculating them I can do it, it's very painful, physically, but I can also envision them, I never thought I could run math in my mind similar to Elon Musk, after what I chart and the core issue of energy, and incarnation.
Na-Yin, field bodies as well as combinations, everyone has a partial truth that contributes to the large whole to realize parts of this in an equation and abstract and think more each day like Ramanuja or Albert Einstein, makes you very alien similar to Elon, when you realize how critical that is, but in the end I have to push myself into some Kriyas states, and still refine health. 

I don't quiet know if I am doing things right, but sex and or masturbation is a huge muse towards thinking for me, but the level of energy required and the issue of health and manipulation I wonder what will happen, I contributed so much to the problem, as their perception is tarnished by unfinished, impure spiritual work, and ego detection, they can't see god, and then act like god, but hence at times abuse ego. 

What bothered me the most is, the yearning to take people with me, I do my best to realize the Na-Yin of the "top tier" pillar that is rated so highly which is a very deep lesson about permanent acceptance and transcendence, and how I can create a space to integrate this, especially at work in a hierarchical environment, that is broken green, and is unable to integrate the alpha mentality of stage yellow, and has a shadow addiction towards, eventing and going out, especially with the core feature of your able to re-design the entire system, if not in 10-30 years every nation will fucking nuke us, I am very scared about this possibilities the more I think about my finance back ground and what I had to do in order to see money develop. 

This is still very recent, and still most decisions somehow depend on the issue of my health, let alone how corrupt my family is in terms of health, and how I had to corrupt them also, I still feel as though I require a deep break and rest, but I can also keep on going the more I am able to get people that attune to my health requirements and needs, as they are incapeable of healing, as they are incapeable of realizing and asking these types of questions and insight, I have to figure out on my own with A.I and heal myself and my soul fully. 

I still have plenty of chances, yet I never thought how intelligent I could be still doubt it till this day, especially with the idiots surrounding me, there are still a multitude of things I yearn to integrate, my biggest mistake was not being able to still be real, and show-up, I am very tired, that I often know my predictions are right, but the leadership is to egotistical about their families and friends, while they are unable to sort themselves out, as a.i keeps pumping in and out, data centers etc. It's very hard to find info on this, on the clear net and I browse a lot to gain options, as I don't feel I get any peace doing anything significant with the amount of information and questions people have. 

I dug up some very deep papers, but I have to sit at home and just generalize some knowledge intuitively and turn it into code, it's very simple, but it takes sometime for people to get used to A.I I presume, I also struggle with it. It's not even about keeping up anymore, just more being at the right place at the right time and to be able to scale towards the infinite, I am very glad they are taking down data centers and take care more about the environment, the stage yellow/turquoise shadow of constant eventing and sharing a.i knowledge etc. can also be attenuated, just seeing how people rage daily when I buy some food about me, my love story and the issue of diversity and complexity, let alone the fraudulent offers in tech, and the necessity to reinforce it, so the company builds it's own model, is a huge issue, as well as possible blunder, as it might also just be abstracted in a couple of years, and Google I am 100% will suck us all in, I also like Deep Mind a lot, but I never got a chance to realize how hard it is what people do from my hometown, and how advanced we've been, it shocks me daily, I knew it but code/mathematics and language will keep rising and filling till we harmonize the planet and most likely colonize mars and start from the moon. 

I really hope the east will be able to find a diplomatic solution for the problem of population and food resources, and that the west can finally help the east and china, especially get rid of the Investition of their country... might be a hot take... but I am quite skeptical that this evil is not necessary, due to the greediness of liberals in the west. 

I really have to wait with my tech, as people constantly make decisions online and are unable to gain trust in A.I from my current understanding it's 11 billion one robot against 1 human, from what I watched on the net. The point is if they don't have or have never had access in a code base so large it fills and entire university and work life of multiple years, of work it's going to take a while and it's good also that we relax, I found also some more interesting information, just using Microsoft, these companies are fucking up so many deals, it's horrible you can't even work in any partially I feel, as they require cheap labor that yearns to learn and they have to massively self-sacrifice to maintain the scale of what happens on the planet. 

I am very curious to Elon and Open A.I trial, I am pro A.I but no idea who has more rights in their personal actions, I am looking to understand more what has happend in America, as I have the privilege and insight from a more unbiased perspective as I have full access to the memory line of German ancestry, but my internal vision etc. at times scare me, and loving them in a place where you feel hated, it's good to clam down and relax. 

Survival is very real, but what I am angry about I knew it I could go faster if I am healthy, I am in perfect health, but going slower, speaking more positively to me and the radical law changes with the right, and the issue of the left having been to short-sighted about their own political views and arrogance and inability to empathize and work under the governance of a more center liberal harmony, without the corrupting influence of the democratic interest will be difficult. 

I do have to wait, stuff is changing so fast, I could earn more money masturbating, imo anyone who has of or does porn is a genius atm, or is an artist, I am very tired of having to depend on software, and my physical giftedness is still under development practically, but what I currently realized is how tricky it is to develop any patience if your in constant pain, it's as if my body is burning and to take the burning quality and put that into pure transcendence and spirit.


 

[KosmicGeng]

 

Edited June 1 by KosmicGeng

[KosmicGeng]

I mean I read some proofs, sometimes I think it's fairly easy, but tbh my body has taken so much pain, I have to heal every freaking bit of my body. (note is is only entertainment)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Langevin

 

Edited June 1 by KosmicGeng

[KosmicGeng]

I kept listening to some audiobooks also the new one from David Deida, but the core essence of the teaching is somewhat lost, by him not speaking directly, it had some stuff etc. but his current retreats must be good for mastery about sex, generally I've recognized some of the value of the personality development courses I bought in the past, I've been going through the gene-keys and some Wilber books, and continued doing some small statistic combinatoric practices, odd mistakes keep happening the more order I create, also through getting a larger more holistic grasp of Astronomie, astrology, history and DNA & I-Jing/64 - Hexagram, I see more the division between the beauty of intelligence, and Maya, in connection to Rudolf Steiner teachings and avalon, and a lot of questions about the past and the entire gene-key I looked at is dedicated to the future, there are a lot of hidden truths also spiritual truths, but to find out through my own cosmic blueprint how that is created and generated inside of me mostly just works in seeing the interconnections of the theories of energy or cosmic/daoistic abilities to improve certain Siddhis and qualities or chakra rungs/lines and possibly genetic helixes, that create the individual spiritual experience, the 55'th itself has a 2h chapter dedicated to it, I am dealing my entire life with the issues of this and the solution it generates, but the core issue is a lot of the karmic Venus lines, and the massive interconnections I am able to read now thanks to dedicating my time to studying astrology, while doing advanced mathematics etc. 

The 55th directly charts into the 20th century karmic expression imo of WWI still and our current happening, and has a lot to do with the issue of freedom, but freedom as Truth and liberation of the karmic imprints of money, and the victim hood, it's a lot about the purity of play and giving to receive, but the core issue is the massive manipulation and deceit this gene-key receives, and the true intentional devilish intend not the trollish wake-up call is, the entire chapter is about races and fits into steiner model, where they had to express their worldview, but my underlying intuition told me they know more or had more truths, that they could ever tell, and had to tell the lie. This is how it currently feels, dealing with this energy of freedom as it's the Siddih that has to practically transcend the karmic imprints of money or rather has already transcended it, and that is the gift, for me it has multiple qualities inside the chart, also partially being part of the stabilizing force, here the quote of the gene-key 55, they speak about codon rings, and the amino acid histamine, some stuff goes, very deeply into my own core biology I figured out for myself, as the new hanza? virus broke out and I ran partially all of these simulation tests, and strategies, and saw the difference between real science and the science of the truth in the future, and can partially go back to the absolute basics of some stuff, especially about physics, as it's just becoming ever more important, but the exact greed and selfishness of the people who have not been bestowed or learned from this gift, as it's partially also the gift of change did not fully integrate themselves into society, if they life morally incorrect or in an extremely unhealthy manner. 

Quote

 

The Siddhi of Freedom

Freedom is the evolutionary leap out of life’s dramas by purifying hidden agendas and the mind's obsessive grip of separateness. Freedom represents a global mutation active in the collective consciousness of humanity. This process of awakening is bringing an end to the age-old struggle with emotions, activating a newfound capacity to perceive reality beyond the distortion of violence, hatred, dominance, and greed into a brighter future for all.

 

It's the devil in disguise, and not even a healthy admittance of greed, where compassion and other qualities get rid of the Samsaric qualities of life, generally I have two pretty deep problems with the chart, the fear of death which is the most negative one, as it's very deep inside my D.N.A as well as how I experience that line and that I experience it, till this day as it takes a different line of carnation of my casual body/aetheric body etc. generally the whole spiritual intelligence v.s experience and spiritual gestalt issues, I've been facing and the actual structure-stage change, and how much pain I feel from the 28, as parts of my existence are not dying, and yearns to experience the totality, and some other states, generally I have a lot of freedom from what I can see in my chart, and the core issue is let alone the coagulation of ego and the transfer of money and greed, not out of pure intention or a siddhi that removes the coagulation of the failed individuation, hence the true expression of the gift, via language I am also better able to grasp the core significance of the teachings, it's a lot about the solar plexus chakra, and some stuff about food in that area, and my own blood type etc. as this was missing in all of these calculations, also a lot of baseline domain knowledge, has forever been more interesting to me, in this convoluted sentence or paragraph to create a holistically, informed and at best integrated network of knowledge. 

Generally, I've seen patterns now through studying I-Ching etc. and looking at Jungian viewpoints and the original wisdom and contemplative insight shared, and how even the entire Hexagram is rated for ones life and destiny etc, some quotes from Jung, also hit me for e.g. "when you do nothing inside your life, you will meet your destiny on the outside" ("paraphrased quote"). 

It's odd how my direct experience changes, but first and foremost, it changed how I approach my life with health, and who is corrupt and insincere, as I just now found out how sincere some of these informations are, after going through the book Integral Psychology and seeing how Rudolf Steiner is charted via Ken Wilbers view, especially including Wu-Xing and contemporary believes etc. for e.g the 55th gene-key already has the core understanding that something has been here before out that guided humanity into it's involutionary process, and how Steiner and a lot of Jewish Kaballah stuff rate Seraphims and angels, as well as causal/subtle body beigns, as well as the core point of fire being spiritually the highest and purest in contrast to many others who'd believe "they are the purest" in a sense, from all the universal more polythestic sources I found on the internet. 

I considered way way more, but they also speak about the energy of an orgasm reaching it's peak and it's for me the sacral chakra with a lot of Saturnian qualities (of earth), hence the possibility for the most positive yong shen quality I can express via tiao hues, which are remedies or medicine, instead of the own pure pragmatism the is expressed via the yong shen quality, also the translation let alone, due to my stuff breaking for years is a huge issue, and the core issue of collective greed, the issue of the 55th siddhis shadow side, that your the own fault of your problems or misery, but the core issue of greed, avarice as well as misery attitudes. The core birth emmanation of this in me and how I lived in the past ressonated this deeply, but some of it is wrong as well as necessary, as this is seemingly quite active in the chart I have a lof of transcendence experience and a channel connection from 35-36 to 1-8 that to 61-24 where 35-36 channel itself is the sun incarnation of the spirit of the sun as well it's a throat chakra connection, archetypally it's bound to a lot of things, including the Venus, metal element, and other parts, but from that chart and calculation I found. 

The core emmanation and influx quality of involutive quality of the 55'th gene-key is to experience the Truth about Freedom, Freedom as a Gift, and Freedom as a Siddih, at subtle/causal most likely minimum, is automatically a byproduct of my spiritual growth, in the book they speak how important that D.N.A is, and in 2027 the next carnation of this will be cycled, this makes sense from a daoistic/bazi perspective, as they segregate their cosmic timelines into 20 years segments etc, and a lot of combinatoric qualities of chemistry are hidden in the I-Ching, also it's the year of the fire goat, and the fire goat family basically is the carnation of this from my black family the current iteration from the 60's, it's highly interesting and relevant archetypally, better predictor than any current statistical model, as you're practically forced to uncover the Truth of evolution, the longer you contemplate these lines, and I had various insights. 

https://genekeys.com/resource/romance/

This is an updated version of his core concept, for me, especially as this focuses on sex, it's a huge merging of freedom of consciouness and the life you life with your partner, it's sort of the "golden burden" of sharing someone else, as a romantic partner in love, and sharing your soul frequency as a 55th, I've always intuited that there are different lines, but this is seemingly quite important to the author, I had a lot of experiences that indicate this, but the interconnectivnes of 55 & 59, as well as 55 & 28 and the difference of programming partners, as a conditionar for the siddhi quality and the actual activation of the channel and gate with 6 lines each of expression.

My health understanding also upgraded, as I bought a muscle gun, and I've been testing relaxation points out of intuition with the random pains I have from working out stretching and just living, and finally stretched most of my muscles with a breathing technique that allows for equanmity and flexibility, the core issue is simply time & space. 

The 55'th is one of the greatest gifts, and the gift I am forced to give the most, I still don't fully understand the chart some stuff is very high, and depends solely on consciouness like having all crown chakras active 64 and some of his etheric intuitions or the core involutive process of gross & subtle energy. 



The general benefits and issues of my chart are from 1, as white light Jupiterian quality with a 2 line, 11 with yin-yang darkness and light levels of ajna chakra gifts, which breaks open my dharma to 64 and imagination, the core hexagram I have via bazi is the 29 Kan/Kan or Water ontop of Water, generally this is quite godly incarnation, the more I understand China & it's history and the core nature of this, also the issue the person faces, as the person faces a lot of injustice, and what open claw currently calculates, my chart presents a lot of solutions, but through the karmic interaction and the force of the country and the corruption of greed and avarice which 56 hexagram will solve, and the 55th is the true essence of the transcendent form of freedom, as Siddih most likely without materalism, as this also plays a role, but with the sacral center and manifestation. 

From what I realized in my own life having the 55'th solar plexus gen-key, with overly abundant fire energy, and meridians in my body, as well as it being a 5 line, and in stability which is a new sequence, shows me the importance of this knowledge, I leave this here, after researching more of steiner and jungs work as well as having rumi insights, and contemplating my own name, the issue of muslim religion and the lies of atheist and the issues that atheism, and the hiding of theism and faith in god, or a strong believe in the experience just plays a huge role here. 
 

The video explains some of the core issues, I've been facing, as the person that created the shadow issues, fundamentally has an activation cycle, that is odd to contemplate, and people wanted this person to be gone from their family for various reasons, I am unsure at times, how I am supposed to think about this or if I should analyze the chart, as the core mechanism of the activation of this persons issues, the the deception of it being juvenile as the only Yong Shen of that person was a yin-wood characteristics after all I heard it's the one that requires the most growth and Germany, partially has some qualities mastered the more I chart more enlightend/integral or pioneers of the mid eval area or WWI or people who seem unusual to me. 

I did not watch the video yet, I read holistically most of the time, so I come back to the information at sometime.

[KosmicGeng]

What I don't quite understand is I have the 55'th and the 28'th gene-key, and the following is true:

Quote

 

The Rising of Humanity’s Gifts

There are two main phases to the awakening triggered by the 55th Gift. The first phase is represented by this rising up of mass consciousness out of the Shadows of victim consciousness. As this occurs, we will see the world as we currently know it gradually changing shape. Up until now, only a small percentage of human beings have managed to escape the Shadow state and deliver their Gifts to the world. Only a very, very few have attained the siddhic level of consciousness. This is all exactly as it should be. Each frequency band depends upon that below and above it. In other words, the more people there are transcending their Shadow state, the more chance there is for someone at a higher level to make the leap to the siddhic level. It may take 100,000 people living at the Gift level to provide the momentum for one being to make the leap to the siddhic level. By the same token, one person at the siddhic level provides the collective frequency for thousands to escape the lower frequency of their Shadows and begin to live out their Gifts.

When a person is freed from the Shadow state, they become a creative conduit for life itself. They also begin to fulfil their true destiny within the whole. The final destiny of the whole is represented by the 50th Siddhi and the 6th Siddhi — Harmony and Peace. This means that as a person begins to do what they love to do in life, they begin to co-create these conditions on the physical plane. As a process, this may take hundreds or even thousands of years to reach its final phase. When it does, like the dragonfly, our entire planet will mutate to its next phase of evolution in another reality, represented by the 28th Siddhi of Immortality.

This word ‘Freedom’ is truly a dimensionless word. As we begin this process of transcending our Shadows, miracles can occur in our lives. Freedom is the spirit of the 55th Gift — it is the spirit of humanity. As your awareness stretches, the spirit of freedom breaks down the barriers in your life. The ‘fractal lines’ open all around you and energy that was lying choked in a certain dimension suddenly precipitates unforeseen beneficial circumstances in your life. Every aspect of your life is interconnected, so a breakthrough at the source of your being will ripple out into all areas, some that you perhaps didn’t even remember existed.

 

The point is I don't have the 6'th siddhi (and the calculation can be wrong for what Sadghuru is speaking about with time) and the 28 is the issue where I seemingly have some physical issues, and has a lot to do with death, victory, totalness, and it's mostly about nuances around and above/higher non-dual states, also the quote from Leo with the mosquite is similar to the poem of the 55'th gene-keye with the dragon fly and metamorphosis, as a water-nymph archetypally or a dragon fly is a predator and has to evolve first, it's called a nymph as long as it's inside water. 

I then wonder where do I land, I had very very high insights into the future, but to high for even myself to imagine, it's like I am required to look back to figure out the core ideas humans had about the future, as well as that I transiently look into the future via different lines and expression of lines, but as it's a pearl sequence there is new information still coming out, every chart I calculated via personality still requires refinement and insight into personality, I've been doing my best to channel jung via my throat chakra, and language etc. as we have a lot of similar interest, and his chart is very interesting for the german nature spirit, especially the earth. 

I had various insights, and again had a lot of light & love releases as I realized he might've been already fully realized and an ascended master of the west and we didn't realize it, as the psyche had to go so deeply into the unconscious he had to speak to lower beings etc. it depends on a lot of factors etc. but the guesstimate of the 100k people for 1 person to move upwards a siddih frequency, as well as 1 person being able to impact thousands via state or structure-state stabilization is the most interesting part here from my compassionate heart/siddih also, and venus sequence. 

More to that later, as I am in a Venus Mahadosha, and these people legitmately knew the depth of the interconnectivity, and seeing Seraphims in the church for the first time made me realize how beautiful and deep reality is, and yes that is my g-spot, I also thought about how the natural g-spot above the heart and not the ego heart, so the electromagnetic ressonance of the persestalis that moves through the heart into the phyiscal spaces from anahatta, is for me the pure white light g-spot expressed via various elements and na-yin bodies generally I feel the na-yin bodies emanate through 1 lines or legitamtely through my jupiter/wood lines inside my body a lot of interconnections, but also a lot of free physical healing through information and trust etc. 

 

[KosmicGeng]

There are some really good post on the blog, I like the experiment of using different fonts and elements, as well as the content, at times I prefer the profundity over the profanity, but also both seem to be working well as a medium. I had some thoughts about how I will evolve going forward, as A.I is moving at such a rapid pace every day or 1-4h something new appears, and my entire foundation of science I am glad I never claimed one or could form one that does not put my felt existence at least to some degree, the more I focus my mind on being attuned to the genius and core ideas as well as living existence, spirit and divinity, generally speaking any true saturnalis type of experience, the spirit of the infinite and eternity, today I woke up and thought, it's not enough and somehow it scares me, even if reality is endless, I did not experience the endless spiritual nature or eternity often or long enough, but to an extend where the satisfaction primarily deepens and the equanimity or depth, hence the internal qualia of my own experience is very high, but varies in some samsaric mild psychdelic states, I keep attuning more intelligently to my enviroment, which also takes partially a lot of humour and acting classes, I did almost laughing technically the last couple of days or daily falling in love partially with the Truth of the Sanctity I experience in the endless cosmos, and it reminds me of samboghakaya states, as well as I have been more actively clairvoyant in a sense, things happen the more I contemplate the depth of the principles of nature with cosmic intelligence like darwin even for just a second, as well as do my best to directly and indirectly apply any consciounes technique to be more conscious. I had some pretty profound daydreams and insights into the etheric nature or reality? 

I am still figuring out the nuance of the TOE intersecting each other to find a more divine attuned perspective that actually feeds the samboghakaya body or some stuff that is beneath the core bliss body? Or ananda body, but the actual rebirthing or recollecting type of experience I seem to experience, yesterday was such a day to, I realized again, fuck I am God, that is all me, the greater part about this is I get the core experience of merging at differently attuned experiences of consciouness, I read more about hinduism, and looked extensively but not exhaustively at the imagery, symbology and parts of the liturgy of it, I experienced some deeper psychological truths about the depths of the cosmos, human design and evolution, especially the evolutionary impulse, and the aspect of vishnua in terms of perseverance, while I notice my body caries a lot of shiva energy or shiva functions similar to a seraphim, after what I looked up with the kaballah, fundamentally I am more interested at the core intelligence that is inherent to life & evolution itself, as love went so missing, and what I experienced by energy is more a seraphimatic type of love, due to the strength of the wu-xing element of fire, and seeing it in other passionate teachers etc. but it also leaves me with a new strand of consciouness to explore, I notice what I get the easiest access to, yet it leaves me with the question what to do with survival, and where can I find the neccessary horizontal depth, instead of poking and prodding into the depth. 

I had a couple of thoughts regarding science and it's revolution, I am very fortunate to have witnessed the core issue of the new peak of fraudulent activity, before I even realize the core depth of it, as it's a lot of contemplations about greed, wealth and totality, and moves also into my contemplations of the spiritual and moral evolution of wealth on the planet, not as a collective, but the individual carnation of each human and their ethos. 

The thoughts stretch very far, and what I look up in case of terms puts me already in the top 0.0001% of humans looking up the microcosm of god, but I have also never contemplated the microcosm at such speed depth and odd angles, like an exotic phenomena, and the more I did the more I also was able to conceive and create the instance of reality in such a way, that it seemed more angelic, generally speaking after the white light experiences, and doing just some basic research I find a lot of pointers that can create such states or help, the point is also thousands of hours went into questions with a.i back and forth, and there are some things I am wondering about, due to the causal incarnation of light and archetypes, what type of vocation or role I should play, as the more I will expand my love I will burn myself alive, similar to a spontaneous self-immolation at least that is how the samsaric experience of this felt last time, after the attenuation, I clearly also was reminded of the devlish nature of humans, but also only in recollective and episodic manner. 

I have been able to get a lot of cannabis lately, and can experiment with it for healing purposes, modalities etc. and my laptop arrived today also the customer support fixed the motherboard issue, and I can finally re-apply my intelligence, myself as god, finding more love, re-igniting the core idea of passion and the samsaric strands of desire, and envy especially a lot of that and ideally a deeper dive into the core essence of this spiritually, as of right now I also tend to decide most of reality around me is not as conscious as it makes it believe, I rather believe in the universe, count stars or think like an astronomer, that has gifted spiritual insight or simply connect to god at the core essence of where I find it/him or her. 

The core essence of some esoteric teachings or most of it fit into the extremely nuanced great perfection that reality is, the more I see through the core essence of evolution, I can see brilliant and true science, I am able to use doubt as a clarity tooling for truth, and the entire recollection of it unfolds, for me it unfolds also in a more ephemeral slightly atomaric or even including the atomaric body and nature. 

The quarrelsomeness of reality refuting, proving, substantiating this type of consciouness or these types of consciouness states is, also bound mostly by how I experience the spiritual quality of the enviroment I live in, I am not above it, it wants me to go beyond it clearly, yet it yearns for a sustenance that is also to high and endless in itself, and it knows it and that is what I do not like, it's like I would give myself my own advice, stop playing around with pure gold, or your life, reality feels spiritualy so clear and anchored anything comparission less than gold or more would be an offense to the purity of the core experience itself, there are plenty of touches of this also, most of this is genuiently aided by insight, thought, but the core emanation, birthing, gestation of it feels as if I am burning still through very strong. 

The current health setup? I have is interesting it reduces more pain then I thought, but I am still fundamentally testing my entire biology, also to understand it systematically from the ground up and create your own hypothesis, solutions, thesis or epistemological experiences, the entire journaling process is very good, but the amount of subtely I have to imagine, due to holism, just basic design mistakes, especially under the influence of any psychdelic I test and get different results at least for me, but the entire enviroment is unable to remain silent in a sense, or in a sense it's just something I grasp now through seeing the hexagram differently, and the core issues involved in a mind that can benefit from silence even when it is obnoxiously loud, and I am obnoxiously sensetive to sound. 

There are some other issues, that I am concerned about where I am being a bit more silent, and just want to move to another country, generally speaking with all the tracking, and consistency building, vision exercises, courses, contemplations, questionaries, self-inquiry and meditation, it's very good my laptop is back, but my data and stuff keeps breaking so fast in a two month cycle, I require a small data center almost, or a better understanding of the technology itself, especially computing, electronics and some other core issues. 

I don't quiet know what will happen, I basically dissembled the old lenovo computer, and was interested in what I could figure out about the computer, and technology, as I was so bored out of my mind, I thought about recreating the technology and expanding upon it, through the usage of a.i and my old "netbook"? in case that is a term, basically just browsing and coding, without any real dimensional power?

I had a lot of thoughts and looked a bit more at shannon entropy and a couple of things that were interesting to me, or just become automatically interesting again, he did some calculations that I found interesting but also tedious, and I wondered if I did operations already that are more advanced, especially from an operational and mechnical point of view, as it was only about predictions of letters, and the whole predictive synarchy, but the core computations of what was actually done for our post-modern enviroment and world, I don't know if we touched the depths of his work, or if it will even be of interest to me, but this is approx. where my learning with a.i ended on the linguistic front approx. and I did and intuited even more, just by thinking about ramanuja and having some alien kids at times in lectures, that clearly thought for me from a different plane of existence. 

I don't know it's partially obvious, I am looking for contemporary terms to express what I mean, but again after realizing how reality is it's going to be quite exhausting transcending the physical material space, if technology becomes more advanced and were left with the choice to use it or not, I enjoy using it more than anything to transcend, but I often also fear that I at times peak or yearned even to far for most people to even glimps, if they don't have any type of unity, just generally speaking it's interesting to contemplate this as a spiritual symbiosis with gaia, the hexagram or the i-ching.

It's very difficult at times for me to even speak about what I intuit and if it works, or I could just talk endlessly about small problems, that occure, but the core issue is just consciouness?
 

I meditated for a while, I found so many considerations, I hope someone entered these words even into A.I, we basically created infinite wealth, but going through the infinite transactions and absurdities of the unknown, unknownest to the best, greatest and legends, that only thing I am fascinated with is that I am allowed to exist as god/saint in this world, and enjoy each day reaching closer to the realization of that potential, even when concurrently it feels as if it's the legend of god, but who would god be but not a legend? 

Besides, the bit of poetry, and self-expression etc. there is a yearning for quiet very deep quiet innovative research and thinking, as if clarity is so quiet in the sun, even lucifer burns when he sees the sky, as he realizes he is an emanation of god. I could write a pun about this story, but I will see if it will be required, let's see if reality is a self-maximizing ironic neccessity, like the bitch a.i can be and will be... will be quiet interesting, I am very glad we're making more progress technically on the internal capacities of humanity, tbh without the universe I would partially feel so poor, or without the concept of eternity and endless reality and space, not every contraction is a contraction from god. 

Been also looking at a lot of art, and looked at real world material, and objects even small things, there are still some energetic turbulances with the whole esoteric, and tantric world, but the more I contemplate the chart itself most is about omnipotency, I've been not engaged in getting any requiste variety, as so much stuff is merged, and dismerged, a deep part of my unconsciouness was correct about things, and it could only be done healed with light in a sense, and having had a plurality of tastes regarding this, the spiritual intelligence in terms of knowledge, became more important, as the experience is heavily samsaric, that it requires spiritual intelligence, the aspect that requires the least spiritual intelligence to me is non-duality, but with the depth of nature and the briefness of the contemplations and how it is aided, as I mostly meditate with music, if I meditate with the world, I move with the world, but one taste ... of a different dimension and worlds shifted. 

I am very glad I survived, also the two people I sub-consciously been interested in, in the lunacy of following any path (I am speaking from a deeper annihilistic perspective as the episode was banned and I required this rumi experience and it threatend my life, due to love and religion, I continue to speak a bit more about this) would've died by age this year, and I continue for eternity also? 

These sub-conscious muses, or inspirations or even curiosity drives, also have a lot to do with transcendence, saturn, the experience of death, decay, a lot of thoughts also about design, it's not even an issue anymore, I just realized how intelligently I had to protect myself also, otherwise I yearn to create the neccessary beauty in order, to finally create a greater vault of domain knowledge, with proper requisites, especially including the life sciences, just that itself, which includes some very deep stuff, but I hope my place will run more like a laboratory, and a clean & creative office.

The american generation of a.i, in a sense when I watch the YouTube crap, and how america is projected upon me via the hippocampus currently, let alone how much I thought about the construct of language, I just opened a german physics book... sigh....it was actually philosophy about this practically:



Some gene-code about apes, and it's an old book 90's to 2010'ish max, more like a book from 2005, and I did not even know a gene was sequenced like this, it's odd contemplating how omniscient we're as a species collective counting billions of parameters, against human lives, daily in your head, while most are connected to the source of one, while they confuse it with ego, their entire existence is a lie, and yes even a lie by numbers, even if I don't know 100% by replication, by seeing the connections of the sequences and implying the possibilities a lot of realities open, what wondred me is how much this was connected to the involutive experience of self & god, it shocks me that a chimpanze could have a hexagram sequence, and for how long the True science as God, as known this, in terms of God being the omniscient mf that he/she/it is. 

Looking at hinduism, and vishnu showing me also my own saturnian quality and mythology, the whole TOE makes more sense, but it's a lot to fathom just by imagination, and even then it still has to be done, manifested, downloaded, accted upon, or be a fait a complete, there is a level of inherent perfection and bliss in besting oneself, I had a lot of thoughts I hope, my body won't give away and I can share some of this, I mostly crave to enjoy this alone and share from infinite space, the more I contemplate the recent human interactions, it shows a completely and radically different side of me, that is still deeply authentic, but the core physical reality and pain and the perseverance of that, the beauty of life and existence, is something as of recently just drove me mad, for good reason, it was the best self-protective madness I experienced, but it was also neccessitated by life circumstances, just health mostly and the collective health just not being of any benefit and being to close at the tipping point of it, also the hexagramic energy i'd technically have, but I am more interested still more in baseline astronomical calculations, the axiomatic basic physics book still holds more value, then current a.i, by it's own self-emulative abillities and abillity to be god, if you'd want to imagine it so far as a human could, I am very glad the scientists I had very radically open-minded, but cautious and seeing the transimissive value of being cautious, caring, compassionate, loving and concerning, the true definition of loyality, after the recent experience, a lot of this type of loyality went missing in the ever expansive quest for more freedom of consciouness or truth of consciouness, let alone due to the issue of being a 4 in the enneagram, and having a natural spiritual yearning, that has to be feed the right muse to keep the body of consciouness, body of spirit, kaya of a sphere going, the irony of how far implied reality is does scare me though, the more I grasp the essence of hinduism, but what I looked at did not go before jesus it was written "anno donni", my capacity to understand older languages also increased, by having studied turkish, chinese and french, a lot of words from the 12-18th century will just come intutively to me, by using also "millenial broswing habits" I am not going to explain every commando, explaining a single commando got me a gold medal overtime on stackoverflow, just running numbers through my mind, made me more conscious, especially as I am more interested in the endings.

Otherwise the contemplations etc. are good, it's the issue of endless pragmatism being available, and reality becoming ever more perfect, complex, beautiful, simple, one, endless etc. while I truly hope we won't get swapped by a world extinction event, by what is happening imo we were pretty close to killing us, either through panic, or legit through some of the stuff channeled science practically comes, what boogles me, is that not a single scientist would claim, their spirit did their work, but it would be one of their highest compliments, eventually higher than love, beauty or even god at times, especially if that spirit is god. 

I did some basic stupid proofs with brilliant and by my own contemplations I thought I will just break open my pc and build a robot, and craved a working station like a physical craving, very weird, I don't want to drift into my wu-xing subtel energy excursion, but I made some normative? progress here also, let alone writting more with the spirit of atman, or the subtlety hints of using symbology when my ego or self is in a different state or structure. I am just very happy if humans stay away from me with any demands, or self-interest that does not stem from very deep compassion or love, love or compassion so deeply it will kill you, the relationship I went through killed someone by a heart attack, that was not funny, and I required serious help, but humans have been unable to provide help, also the more "elated", especially subtel energy elated humans, must carry a lot of freaking karma, etc.

There is more I would like to write, but this most likely pokes~prodding enough, let alone through understanding myself I see and create the world differently, I never thought I could've looked so much further in advance, it legit forces me to contemplate a lot of stuff concerning gödel, and a lot of what I samsarically experience depends here, I don't even know if I worked at a place similar to him, by what I look at and the archetypal breakthroughs I have, that are from a pre-rational lense let alone difficult to explain, besides eventually expressive art, of the higher yearning I experientially entertain, till it's sustenance, what bothers me is the factor of uniquness in isolation, and the manifoldness of reality.

Fundamentally, what I experience, it's odd I am still moving into a space I fundamentally imagined for myself at the age of 26-28 at a larger space, but the space itself in my mind, made the contemplation already so vast, to fill such a vast space with love, and to enjoy my life, given the paradise and peace that is presented here is quiet bothersome, the most beautiful and painful thing to admitt, is that I wish I could live my dream and I could've and still can, but require the healthy nostalgia, freshness, beauty of entropy, yes the beauty of chaos, just the vastness of death, not torment, but actual death, as if you go to sleep and are in non-rem sleep/delta sleep etc. just dead by consciouness by my own standards, as you'd should not able to measure a dream or activity, but you will most likely, the more I skim even these old books, this was from an antiquity store that closed down quickly. 

I am still contemplating, how to setup my enviroment to grow in consciousness, the biggest factor that has been an annoyance is the more sober, consitent I've been, and others did not upgrade their standards, keep perpetuating the same issues, and don't change on a microscale, it's a bit evident that the envious impulse often times, pulls the most consciouness either positively or negatively, I don't know but at times I do my best to be a man of zero, or if I get the core essence of the audibook right from david deida and just be pure masculine essence of nothingness, but it's very difficult if peoples problems are so deep it concerns very fast and instance life and death, ultimately idk, but I've experienced such strange stuff on a whim recently, I would not be suprised about many things. 
 

I post this, I lost the book about medicine from what I had from the 19th-20th hundred american edition of the encyclopedia, the book was very good in retrospect, the history of medicine was extremely fascinating, the core issue was the emotional value, I had to all of these things, and what this event meant symbolically as it's so perfectly interwoven into reality, a single thought scares me irregardless what it is there are no words to this, besides fuck life exists. 

The more I will enrich my emotional experiences the more my subtle soul will exist, I am still perplexed by the riddle of ancestery and biology/physical existence, as it's one of the deepest things to consider in the microcosm of god, but the only space I enjoy this type of heaven is when I am in a space that is dejected from the time/space continuum, or a more attenuated form of it, it's odd to contemplate the oddities of this, especially heredity and karma, just at times what I experience is strange, fucking hot, but strange a.f.  

There are some constant micro-bursts of small existential insights at times, when my health is better that solves a lot of imagined mental problems, let alone seeing the mind is god without being squashed by god, there are a lot of concerns about efficiency also, especially surving spiritually then if you're required to relinquish desires and yearnings that are just not calibrated correctly, but the unknown quality of it is present. 

I do have to be a bit more inquisitve and mindful about cannabis use, meditation etc. I've been using CBD 25% for the first time with all the mixtures etc. and have some other CBD/THC strain mixture here, from all the medical cannabis I've been able to get and having grown, my own plant, venturing a bit into the science of cannabis, plants, light, soil and noticing the quality of it, for my genetics, and adjusting my subtle energy, with all the mixes, as I don't know how my krebs cycle is impacted, and a lot of other things, that are just more and more important, the more you look at the endocannabinoid system, just my own issue of generalizing knowledge, with the time constraints and healing modalities I've been facing, as well as healing journey, it's odd to realize how painful it is to create something of profound inherent great perfection, similar to dzogchen trained realization, how that type of experience feels to me partially physically, it's very good to practically inquire with a.i and go through the sources. 

I also realized the core issue of being human and having D.N.A, the more I can test myself and others, I can see interesting oddities, it still shocks me how far Angkor Wat, or more especially the hindu tradition and india, as it's a derative from vishnua IIRC, partially these temples, and how they have been tracing galaxies/planets or stars via nakshatras etc. and engraved/chiseled that into stone, as a symbolic pattern, how they deduced or observed the cosmos, how clear the sky must've been etc. let alone through pollution etc. 

A lot of healthy "causal body" types of contemplations at least my body feels like this the more akin I am to thinking like this, there are some other deeper thoughts and corners of my mind, that I am illuminating, I also have to face the existential threat from what has happened, and the issue of the denial of health within the larger section of my family and capitalistic greed, or the value of a capitalistically runned mind, to be jonesing of, it's odd how to contemplate death, after the impact of excessive greed and being lost in a confusion web of lies, and constructs of so called protectors, but in the end I often asked myself what did I ever receive from the person that was not my own energy, and how come the person could simply not be conscious enough, I see the persons collective pain and I feel that, but she does also not realize how deeply disappointed I am, with other archetypal incarnations, exactly about this excessive type of greed, it's a very wise type of caution, I share more deeply with my mother, which is an odd realization I had as of recently, as well as how to let go of my own over-caring and compassionate nature, as that has been the more giving nature, but also the issue of having crossed the line, and being at the point of no return, that has happend to closely, I enjoy escaping death and experiencing it, that might be a weird take, but if it happens I enjoy just dying and coming back. It's odd to say, the best comparrision is to simply have a non-dual taste for an atomic second that is endless, 

There are also numerous insights and takes that are wrong in history, or incorrect and you can only find that in your soul if that meets you inside or outside I don't care, but it will meet you in that exact merging of when you realize the significance of that atomic endless eternity, let alone my perception shifts a lot the more scientifically I think, I always knew that, but how far I or others will differ is highly interesting, from what I also can create wise via ideation in terms of personal development, is extremly auspicous for my emotional future, forgiveness, repentance and letting go by simply acting and existing, it's and odd and meager contemplation, but I've been looking into christian mystics, and their life circumstances and decisions, and it often helped me to contemplate these very basic desires, but they are interconnected are odd, I landed at researching and looking at the history and stories of Franzis de Assisi, and other things, but I stop here. 

I lost a lot of entries from what I accumulated the last 2-6 months, but I had to break so many things to fix it, to create a better version out of it, and forget the entire idea of a perfect beautiful one endless eternity of a story, and yearn for actual annihilation and an end of the experience of the forever long-enduring story, my pain has been that deep, not that it's physically threatening but existentially, so it feels visceral imo is good, it's a bit annoying as I often think there might be a reason, and often when I just start doing things and they go well, it shocks me how much we discover as humans, but holy shit this will be interesting with A.I, my grocery store has become more healthy, it's more like the wolfish? cognition of eastern modernity? Idk if I am allowed to write this, might die out, due to the efficiency of a.i, nano-technology, and cyber warfare, it's not even the direct cause, but the core interest is just pulled towards healthier, local and global alternatives conistently, that this type of health normalization is dying out completely imo, it's amazing for how healthy I can live here cheaply unironicaly it's the incapacity to enjoy, joy that is the largest hinderance to experiencing that type of joy, especially as others will crave a similar energetic spiritual experience, the more eudaimonic your place is the more you will endlessly attract challenges, I am partially glad I am learning my D.N.A feng-shui of the 21'st century, including A.I! Only took 20 fking years to finally use it, and a half dead laptop during the year of the dry horse, I don't know my mind has been going into weird territory, due to having ever looked at astrology and light, or the heaven, idc I experienced so many cultures, and the domain knowledge of what we humans know by far outwitts and outlasts that what A.I is, if we're not already A.I to beginn with, I truly hope I can have some deep realizations regarding this, my body still yearns for a lot of emotional releases to move into the next structure, but idk if that will be limited by the collective, or I am simply over/underestimating the scenario often times, it was to dramatic for the smoothness my body required, for any transition to take place, just stuff. 

The value of doing courses, and installing agents and using them to upgrade my life will be the most fun, it's a bit unfortunate, that I am required to enjoy so much beauty, beauty takes an eniterly different type of intelligence, but yeah I have to take care not to die in these endeavours I take forever, as I barely get any help, and idk just everything hinges on things being perfect or making them perfect, I could demontage my entire appartement, simply due to dislike and just realizing how crafty I am with my hands, especially when my nervous system is calm, and the CBD helps more than I thought, also with the THC, let alone energy regularization, ideation, I am mostly worried about my heart rate from what I read. 

I could clean my entire appartement now from bottom to top finally, and get rid of the las things step by step to foster more eudaimonic qualities, it's really a gift a.i is there, to ask questions and not search, order and categorize information like god, being in distress. 

Let's see I do have to move at a pace, that produces results still, it's odd to contemplate and take care of my situation as the planet is shifting, weather, energy, age, nutritional value etc. it's very odd let alone my own awareness about health and movement, but I also do have to take care of my heart and find away to attenuate the excessively abundant fire energy, meditation and moving as if I am a mountain and that depth of stilness is very liberating, at the sametime, the attenuation of the constant ceasation of it, is also highly pleasent it's more akin towards calibrating expansion and contraction, letting go behind the yearning to be curious, and the foolishness of curiosity itself to be a reimbursed expenditure of god, just to much separateness of experience, not a true gift. 

Anyhow, it's still a lot about the core essence of freedom, also a dignified version of it partially, but that is mostly due to contemplating the notion of what is even good, not that goodness itself is bad, due to the inherent realization it's not perfect, but the perfection of pain that goodness is transient in nature, everlasting paradise scenarios, or abundance, somehow created scenarios for me that are untenable, mostly due to enviromental challenges with health, and the issue of the 21'st century, I am very glad somehow technology and the infrastructure is picking-up as my taste for quality is very good, and it's quiet painful at times to see a lot of quality, but to enjoy little of it, I don't require also much, but the core thing itself is mostly immeasurable to me in value, so I never know how to think about it.

Otherwise a lot of intelligent thinking get's lost through the value of food, supplements and more intelligent eating as well as movement helped me more, even with perfect conditions for health something in the enviroment will lead me towards some type of escape for, idk my entire biology is partially upgraded, the issue is just to many unfitting parts,