Charisma

[Olaf]

Lately I have been working really hard and my work involves allot of communication, I am talking with many people and I recently had a breakthrough in my charisma, at least what I noticed. Yet its hard for me to pinpoint what exactly it is, as it´s something that came naturally through loads of interactions. Some things are best that come natural and not just from some forced technique.

What I would describe as what happened was that I was able to just relax more, maybe the mix of being tired from all the work as well as the constant social interactions, made me have 0 thoughts and just speak my mind unfiltered. You know when something is terrible, and you can´t just stop laughing, because it´s so awful, maybe you embarrassed yourself awfully or a situation is just hopeless that it makes you laugh and see the funny side of the situation or the moment.

That is kind of how I have been feeling, not taking anything seriously and seeing how ridiculous life is and can be. I think thats the best state for me atleast to be charismatic, is having 0 thoughts and seeing everything as funny, not forcing it to be funny, but genuinely see how horribly funny life is, including yourself, like how you are trying stuff and failing, it´s just hilarious, like for me, I try a bunch of new stuff and fail so much, that it becomes hilarious and that laughter makes me relax and speak with more charisma and be naturally more funny.

This is what I think has been my mini breakthrough this week, but I would love to hear from others what their version of charisma is and their definition of charisma. 

P.S. One more thing I would say is that I had less pressure on myself both less financial stress as I was working more and also less pressure to do my best, so instead of trying, it was more like I was just winging it. If that makes any sense. Pressure and being a try hard isn´t really the best way to unleash your charisma. I feel like winging it, just give it a shot, not even considering the outcome worked so well for me. If you fail it´s a joke; if it works great as well, no performance pressure whatsoever.

Edited yesterday at 01:21 PM by Olaf

[LastThursday]

Well done on your breakthrough. It must feel good to let yourself off the hook and take away that pressure.

I've met a few charismatic people in my time. From observing them I'd say exactly what you've found out for yourself. They were good communicators with good social skills, they knew how to laugh especially at themselves, and they were confident and happy in their own skin. I'd say self-confidence would be at the top of that list, but not arogance.

Having good social skills requires you to be "outward", to pay full attention to the people you're with, be non-judgemental, and not to be stuck in your own head. There's also a large amount of flow and improvisation. If you have performance pressure or worried about what you're going to do tomorrow, you're not in flow, and that kills social communication.

[Olaf]

@LastThursday exactly not being stuck in your own head and being in a flow or letting it flow out naturally without resistance towards what comes out of your mouth and how that will be recieved by others. Thank you for sharing.

[TruthFreedom]

Most people are very self conscious and wrapped up in themselves. When u realise that, it's very liberating, because you see that nobody was ever actually thinking about you. They were much more concerned with themselves. Although, we do like to delude ourselves that we are the focus of everyone's attention. Sorry to burst your bubble, but that person you think is infatuated with you? They are thinking about their nose-hair, not you

[Olaf]

@TruthFreedom beautifully said, yes, and it´s easy to get self-conscious as well, until you start to see the humor in it.