A DISTORETED EGO REALIZING NO SELF!

[SixtySenses]

If someone has a lot of personality and identify distortion early on due to the way they were raised and nurtured, but inherently genetically were and are really gifted in terms of insight, mysticism, and sensitivity for enlightenment what should they do? They have deep nondual insights fairly often. They are very conscious of no self but have an incredibly hard time with how to identify and act afterwards as an ego because their ego is unstable.

Note upon finishing: There are periods and interactions that I have with people sometimes were I enter a complete no self, no defenses, surrender, where I can just enter a flow state and sort of forget myself and others and just get lost in the present and use my ego in full autonomic skill (how I imagine Leo sometimes feels when he does his videos). The fear that sort of arises here, after the fact, is that I was not in some enlightened, or nirvanic, Samadi state but rather I was or have some Narcissistic(solipsistic) trait or deployment and what actually happens is I let go of my awareness of this fact and cause some semi controlled chaos?

back to it. In short, they have a messy ego but a clean pure soul: They have a high capacity to tune their receiver to the signal of the universe but the speaker that would then play that tune out of them is then crooked and warped. A sort of Spiritual aphasia.

it feels as if the wire (the mind/ego/avatar) is being over heated do to overload and overcurrent. If this persist too long the wire is going to burn up.

would this individual need to do some serious shadow work? (They have really taken to deconstructing and self-analysis so well and for so long they have hit a bit of a cynicism wall where they don't know, or trust, if they are deceiving themselves or not.) They have entered some sort of cycle of ecstatic clarity followed by states of confusion or feeling of impending doom. Should they commit to a serious meditation routine asap? Maybe should they seek-out the help of a true stable mystic as the reason their ego feels so unsafe is they need to surrender it but need to do it where they feel safe to do so? Been heavily debating trying some sort of Ayahuasca or 5meo retreat? Been seeing a decrease in cognitive function and overall burnout. Health feels like it's not failing, but becoming less important, a sort of despair. Feels like were pulling at the card that is holding up the entire house of cards. 

almost feels as if there are two egos or two personalities that keep merging and then coming apart and then wrestling 

Would really appreciate feedback from anyone with direct experience with this and not just some speculative crap. Might have to give all this actualized stuff up (which I have before for long periods of time but always find a way back sooner or later). It's just all becoming too strong of a map in the mind. Better the model bigger the problem. Mind is starting to get pretty good at inventing its own maps. Sort of scarry in the sense that its either genius or insanity--or both

Note: We are stable and well. Just spirituality going through it. This is more of a vent and curiosity of what potential others think than asking for help or advice. Sort of a delusion check. Thanks 

Edited 8 hours ago by SixtySenses

[Lazarus93]

Sounds like exactly me, honestly. Psychedelics/dissociatives are the answer.

Edited 9 hours ago by Lazarus93