Half-thoughts

[Jirh]

Truth is ugly.

Beautiful truth is crazy.

Sane beautiful truth is impossible.

[Jirh]

Proud to be crazy.

Crazy to be proud.

[Jirh]

Sweet is love.

But love is hard.

[Jirh]

Don't let it go.

Don't you see how far it's gone away?!

[Jirh]

It looks like there aren't real people with real lives anymore. Life of the ghosts.

Everyone is glued to their phones, sucked into another world in another dimension, here but somewhere else, somehow.

Obsessed with their online image, carefully crafting illusion after illusion, without any regards to their self-image.

Chasing dopamine hits endlessly, until they're numb, so they increase the dose, and get even more numb.

Elaborate games of manipulation, of deception of oneself and others. Losing everyone in the process.

Fear is running the show. Deep insecurities. Increasingly so.

Shallow and hollow. No depth, no reality underneath. Empty shells, perhaps attractive to the onlooker, but deeply disappointing where it matters. Deeply boring, too.

Are people capable of genuine connection anymore? Are they even alive?!

Prison of a different kind.

[Jirh]

What is this? What's the purpose of it all?

I have no free will. It's a program running on its own, and I am at the center. Like a interactive movie where I'm the main character. 30 human years, and so far, it's been tragedy/comedy.

I don't choose what or who I love. It's all in the script. Nobody chooses their God.

At the same time, change is possible. Behaviour can change with time and repetition. But behaviour is an appearance, not the truth.

The truth is what I love. And appearance is what I need.

[Jirh]

Really, there is no one.

There's just The One.

[Jirh]

Today, I learned that RAM is technically just an extension of the CPU's limited storage.

Essentially, a CPU is all that's needed for a machine to function. It has the computing capabilities and a limited amount of storage to do the computing. Computation requires instructions and storage. The instructions are created when the CPU is made so they are built into the architecture, and they dictate everything the CPU does from that point on.

Then when you run programs that require a large amount of memory (beyond the CPU's cache and registers), that's when RAM comes into the picture. The CPU starts borrowing storage space from the RAM. It's not as fast, but it's fast enough.

We don't see this process in modern programming languages, not even in the older ones like C. But it is clearly seen in Assembly. That's why it's important to understand Assembly even if you practically virtually almost never need to code anything with it.

So, RAM is a temporary extension of storage for the CPU. It doesn't remember any data when powered off, unlike HDDs or SSDs, which are in a similar way an extension of RAM.

Computers are magic! I love it!

[Jirh]

The world is half good and half evil.

Most people are good, and most are evil.

[Jirh]

I'm the kind of person who loves deeply, can be vulnerable, and loves vulnerability more than anything else. I am extremely sensitive and emotional. I can love without boundaries, until I almost lose myself in the other. But I am strong too. And I always do the right thing, regardless of how I feel.

I used to comfort my ex during her psychosis. Even kept my support after she broke up with me. Held her in my arms, and cried with her.

Some of my best memories. I still cry from gratitude till this day when I remember. I still love her.

[Jirh]

https://www.bootstrappable.org

Nice!