Close friend lost a young mother unexpectedly, need advice.

[bazera]

One of my close friends lost mother very unexpectedly due to a doctors misdiagnose, she was 49 years old and feeling well mostly, and all of a sudden she felt bed, they bought her to clinic and doctors mistreated her and she died in 2 days (this weekend).

My friend is in shock, I don't even know what to say to her, she was very close to her mom.

I also lost my dad 2 years ago the same way, he was well and strong and in 10 minutes he was dead (due to brain aneurysm). And I know how painful it is, especially after the initial shock wears off, and she returns to her daily life, it will be very hard. And I want to help but not sure how.

So, what would you say to someone in that position? How would you ease her pain?

[Someone here]

Sorry to hear . Tell her that her mother didn't really die.  Just the body died .the body is only for a short time .its not your home . As the story goes Ramana Maharshi's awakening experience happened when he realized "oh wow! One day I'm gonna die ". Then he lied on the floor and said "OK this body is now dead. Soon it will be carried to the grave . But I'm not this body .therefore who am I?". I don't recall the entire story ..but the point is we are way more than a mere body . We are the eternal essence of existence itself. If I exist then I'm existence. I can't die. There is no where to go .nothing bad can happen to you .nothing can touch you.  Maybe I'm speaking things bigger than me but since you posted this in the spirituality section so I hope you and your friend find peace.

[Ziran]

3 hours ago, bazera said:

So, what would you say to someone in that position? How would you ease her pain?

... pretend to be an atheist/materialist.  Cater to their basic needs.

[Elliott]

Make them food, help them with basic things, go on walks with them, comfort them. I wouldn't say anything.

[ExploringReality]

Condolences to her. I lost my dad a few years ago and it didn't hit me until the initial shock was over. There is no time limit on grieving. Let her know that you are there if she needs anything and there isn't really much to do to soothe her other than being someone with loving presence. Tell her that you love her and you appreciate her and yeah man it's difficult, we will all face our mortality and in the meantime all we can do is be more loving, be more nice, be more considerate. Don't rush trying to give her advice, don't try to over distract her, give her time and space to process and don't fill her mind with a bunch of stuff. When she's ready try to spend some time with her and make her laugh or spend some quality time with her. I'm very sorry to hear that happened about your friend. Sending love to you all. One of the best things you can do now that I'm thinking about it, is to be someone in close proximity to her while she is going through the grieving process, don't say much, but if you are able to grieve with her or just be a space in which she grieves unapologetically and you can do so non-judgmentally. Some people like to be alone but it's always a great gift if you can be someone next to her while she grieves and you hold space and she feels free to cry without feeling like she has to suppressor tears or hold strong. Be someone that she can feel that she can let go and cry and to talk

Edited 51 minutes ago by ExploringReality