Practice Journal

[Oppositionless]

Stabilization phase going well. I like this, doing deep work for a short time then hitting the breaks . I don't feel like I'm falling behind spiritually . I feel like my body is catching up to something my spirit reached. 

[Oppositionless]

Habits I want to develop :

Playing 30 minutes of piano or keyboard every morning 

Smoking cannabis only a couple times a week

Spending more time alone

 

habits I'm proud I have :

meditaing every morning . Or night if I have to be up early .

walking every day.

habits I want to break;

judging myself .

 

Edited February 20 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

I was very naive as a young spiritual seeker. When I was 18 I ended up in a discord cult with no real spiritual practice, just lots of super powerful placebo transmissions. A year later I did some hardcore , probably dangerous, fasting in an attempt to become a breatharian (new age speak for one of the siddhis described in the yoga sutras).

I do think such distractions served a point. The point being it's really hard to say I would have benefited from real consciousness work at such a young age... it certainly wouldn't have prevented the suffering I was destined for in my early 20s . Thankfully nothing too serious happened... I could have joined a "real" cult or fucked my body up. That's good.

Actually Dr K explained how transmissions (or diksha, initiation) works. You really only get it once, your guru blesses you , and that helps kickstart your process but it doesn't do the work for you, and you also don't need like 3 of them a day to make more progress. 

I think consistent spiritual practice *might* make the body more efficient and therefore less food is needed. But I don't think fasting an arbitrary number of days has any effect. Would not reccomend dry fasting at all.

Edited February 20 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

On 2/20/2026 at 1:30 PM, Oppositionless said:

 

I think consistent spiritual practice *might* make the body more efficient and therefore less food is needed. But I don't think fasting an arbitrary number of days has any effect. Would not reccomend dry fasting at all.

Grok : (this is very interesting! Much more "street cred" than new age breatharin gurus):

"

1. Samyama on the Throat Chakra (Kaṇṭha-kūpa / Vishuddha)

•  Classical claim (Yoga Sutra 3.30): Prolonged samyama (dharana + dhyana + samadhi) on the throat pit can lead to cessation of hunger/thirst.

•  How it’s tied to breatharianism: New-age interpreters link it to kechari mudra + amṛta (nectar) flow from the bindu/soma chakra — supposedly nourishing the body internally so food becomes unnecessary.

•  Reality in traditional yoga:

    •  This siddhi is extremely rare and considered a side-effect (upasarga) of advanced samadhi, not a practice to force.

    •  Patanjali warns siddhis distract from liberation (3.37).

    •  No historical or modern verified yogi lives indefinitely without food solely from this.

•  How to practice safely (if you want to explore for other benefits):

    •  Sit comfortably → focus on throat pit (base of neck, blue light visualization).

    •  Chant bija mantra HAM (hum) mentally on breath (inhale Ha, exhale Mmm with throat vibration).

    •  5–10 min/day, no forcing.

    •  Benefits: clearer voice, confidence, reduced self-censorship — not food elimination.

•  Safety: Completely safe when gentle. No fasting required. Do not use this to justify stopping food — that is misuse and dangerous."

[Oppositionless]

Maybe it's because it's now been a full month since my last 5 meo dmt session, or maybe because my nadis are cleaner now, but kriya seems more sustainable than it did for the first two months. I feel I can gently re-integrate it into my practice routine without overwhelm :)).

*update 3 hrs later:

Okay after the kriya session tonight I think I'm getting an idea of what might be going on. The first two months of my practice got very existential , ego dissolving. Now it's going in the direction of shadow work. I'm looking at my deep sadness and anxiety with different eyes and with that comes... well a lot of sadness and anxiety , but also freedom.

One of my biggest fears is never finding a soul mate . But I'm not sure whether that's a genuine fear or society telling me I need to find the perfect partner. It's not really about it being attractive, recently I've verified as such, it's more about not finding the "perfect" person. Sigh, if I wasn't a good person dating would be easy . I'd just date someone and not care whether I was a good partner.

Edited Sunday at 03:03 AM by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

I was doing my practice today and started crying because I'm thinking about the woman I met. I'm once again in the ocd nightmare position of negotiating a potential romantic scenario and I'm so sick of it. Why can't I just meet someone and instantly I know they're the one and it's so obvious and simple? 
 

I said to God "I don't want a girlfriend right now , I just want You!" But maybe that's spiritual bypassing 😢

 

 

Edited Sunday at 11:31 PM by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

I interpret attraction from a woman as an attack. I don't know why.

[Yimpa]

ROCD sucks, I get that.

[Oppositionless]

19 hours ago, Yimpa said:

ROCD sucks, I get that.

My longest relationship was two months. ROCD is the reason I walked away from it (I didn't know I had it, I thought God was telling me to end the relationship).  And the next two and a half years were basically ruined because of the horrible depression that followed.

I hate OCD but especially ROCD with the burning passion of a million suns. I would cut off my left hand to go back and not ruin that relationship.

Edited Monday at 10:05 PM by Oppositionless

[Yimpa]

18 hours ago, Oppositionless said:

I would cut off my left hand to go back and not ruin that relationship.

And I would stop you without a doubt or a question. 

[Oppositionless]

7 hours ago, Yimpa said:

And I would stop you without a doubt or a question. 

😊. Right. Who am I to argue with destiny? lol. It's allll goood :).

[Yimpa]

58 minutes ago, Oppositionless said:

😊. Right. Who am I to argue with destiny? lol. It's allll goood :).

It's all good, but boundaries are also important. OCD will try to take advantage of the love you're expereincing, and it's important to not entertain what it is saying to be about Truth.

In other words, OCD is afraid of LOVE

Edited yesterday at 12:46 AM by Yimpa

[Oppositionless]

58 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

In other words, OCD is afraid of LOVE

Omg . 
Ive never heard it said so bluntly. It makes so much sense .

I think it's also about "purity" even though I'm not catholic anymore my ocd still thinks sex is a little dirty.

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, Oppositionless said:

Omg . 
Ive never heard it said so bluntly. It makes so much sense .

2 minutes ago, Oppositionless said:

I think it's also about "purity" even though I'm not catholic anymore my ocd still thinks sex is a little dirty.

Yeah, it controls what kind of sex is right or wrong, and anything outside that norm is bad. What if bad actually is good?

[Oppositionless]

🌿 Tai Chi Kriya – Grounding Practice (Revised)

A personal fusion drawing from tai chi, qigong, and kriya yoga. Not a formal or traditional system — offered as a practical daily grounding sequence.

1️⃣ Grounding Chi (Arc & Press)

Purpose: Connect crown to earth, regulate energy, settle the nervous system.

Posture

• Feet hip-width apart

• Knees soft

• Spine tall

• Awareness at the crown (Brahmarandhra)

Movement

• Inhale: Sweep arms out and up in a wide arc to overhead.

• Exhale: Unfocus on crown. Turn palms down and press slowly down the midline, fingers extended as if smoothing a wall of air.

• Feel the energy descend into the belly and feet.

Repetitions: 6–12 slow breaths.

2️⃣ Heart Tapping with Sound (Revised)

Purpose: Clear and activate the heart center, balance emotional energy.

Posture

• Stand or sit upright

• Shoulders relaxed

• Hands lightly cupped

🔹 Phase 1 – Left / “Ha”

• Continuously tap the left upper chest with the right hand.

• Keep a steady, rhythmic tapping.

• Simultaneously vocalize “Haaaa” continuously for about 1 minute or whatever is comfortable.

• Breath releases through the sound.

• Let it feel cleansing and clearing.

🔹 Phase 2 – Right / “Yam”

• Switch sides.

• Continuously tap the right upper chest with the left hand.

• Vocalize “Yammm” continuously for about 1 minute or whatever is comfortable.

• Let the sound resonate and vibrate in the chest.

• Feel expansion and coherence.

Repeat the two phases as many times as needed (2–5 rounds).

3️⃣ Archer’s Pose (Dynamic Stability)

Purpose: Grounded power, direction, embodied confidence.

Posture

• Step into a bow stance

• Front knee bent, back leg strong

• Hips square

Arms

replacement:

• The arm matching the front foot is the bow arm — it extends to the side (left if left foot forward, right if right foot forward), not straight ahead.

• The opposite arm draws back at shoulder height as if pulling the bowstring.

• Gaze steady over the bow hand.

• On the exhale, release — envision an energy arrow of positive intention shooting forward.

Breath

• Inhale to draw

• Exhale to settle and ground

Hold 3–5 breaths per side. Alternate 3–6 times.

🌎 Suggested Closing

Stand quietly with hands resting on the lower belly.

Breathe naturally.

Feel weight in the feet and spaciousness in the chest.

Tips: “Ha” often ties to heart/lung clearing in sound healing/Qigong traditions; “Yam” is the seed mantra (bija) for the heart chakra in yoga/Kriya. Keep taps gentle—more vibration than force. Stop if any discomfort arises.

Edited yesterday at 09:16 PM by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

ChatGPT:

When you imagine pausing all intense energy work and pranyama for a month do you feel:

A: relief

B: fear of losing progress

C: something else 

me:

😅😅😅😅😅

 

also, I've fully decided (actually , it was revealed to me) that I'm going to be a life coach. My speciality will be men going through spiritual awakening. And men who want to improve their relationship with themself (and by extension their feminine), and men wanting psychedelic experience integration. I'm going to get my life coach certification from a 6 month program, as well as psychedelic integration training and potentially yoga teacher training . I want to give people actual spiritual practices that address their goals, not just a lot of talking.
 

As an ENTP with a wealth of spiritual knowledge and nondual experience , I know I will kill it. But not *quite* yet, it's going to take a year or two of further practice. So that's my long term vision but for now I'm gonna keep building servers (maybe moving into software engineering like my degree? Seems unlikely given the market) and working on my awakening. And practicing using this forum and irl friends .

Edited 3 hours ago by Oppositionless