Practice Journal

[Oppositionless]

Stabilization phase going well. I like this, doing deep work for a short time then hitting the breaks . I don't feel like I'm falling behind spiritually . I feel like my body is catching up to something my spirit reached. 

[Oppositionless]

Habits I want to develop :

Playing 30 minutes of piano or keyboard every morning 

Smoking cannabis only a couple times a week

Spending more time alone

 

habits I'm proud I have :

meditaing every morning . Or night if I have to be up early .

walking every day.

habits I want to break;

judging myself .

 

Edited Friday at 03:01 AM by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

I was very naive as a young spiritual seeker. When I was 18 I ended up in a discord cult with no real spiritual practice, just lots of super powerful placebo transmissions. A year later I did some hardcore , probably dangerous, fasting in an attempt to become a breatharian (new age speak for one of the siddhis described in the yoga sutras).

I do think such distractions served a point. The point being it's really hard to say I would have benefited from real consciousness work at such a young age... it certainly wouldn't have prevented the suffering I was destined for in my early 20s . Thankfully nothing too serious happened... I could have joined a "real" cult or fucked my body up. That's good.

Actually Dr K explained how transmissions (or diksha, initiation) works. You really only get it once, your guru blesses you , and that helps kickstart your process but it doesn't do the work for you, and you also don't need like 3 of them a day to make more progress. 

I think consistent spiritual practice *might* make the body more efficient and therefore less food is needed. But I don't think fasting an arbitrary number of days has any effect. Would not reccomend dry fasting at all.

Edited Friday at 08:34 PM by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

On 2/20/2026 at 1:30 PM, Oppositionless said:

 

I think consistent spiritual practice *might* make the body more efficient and therefore less food is needed. But I don't think fasting an arbitrary number of days has any effect. Would not reccomend dry fasting at all.

Grok : (this is very interesting! Much more "street cred" than new age breatharin gurus):

"

1. Samyama on the Throat Chakra (Kaṇṭha-kūpa / Vishuddha)

•  Classical claim (Yoga Sutra 3.30): Prolonged samyama (dharana + dhyana + samadhi) on the throat pit can lead to cessation of hunger/thirst.

•  How it’s tied to breatharianism: New-age interpreters link it to kechari mudra + amṛta (nectar) flow from the bindu/soma chakra — supposedly nourishing the body internally so food becomes unnecessary.

•  Reality in traditional yoga:

    •  This siddhi is extremely rare and considered a side-effect (upasarga) of advanced samadhi, not a practice to force.

    •  Patanjali warns siddhis distract from liberation (3.37).

    •  No historical or modern verified yogi lives indefinitely without food solely from this.

•  How to practice safely (if you want to explore for other benefits):

    •  Sit comfortably → focus on throat pit (base of neck, blue light visualization).

    •  Chant bija mantra HAM (hum) mentally on breath (inhale Ha, exhale Mmm with throat vibration).

    •  5–10 min/day, no forcing.

    •  Benefits: clearer voice, confidence, reduced self-censorship — not food elimination.

•  Safety: Completely safe when gentle. No fasting required. Do not use this to justify stopping food — that is misuse and dangerous."

[Oppositionless]

Maybe it's because it's now been a full month since my last 5 meo dmt session, or maybe because my nadis are cleaner now, but kriya seems more sustainable than it did for the first two months. I feel I can gently re-integrate it into my practice routine without overwhelm :)).

*update 3 hrs later:

Okay after the kriya session tonight I think I'm getting an idea of what might be going on. The first two months of my practice got very existential , ego dissolving. Now it's going in the direction of shadow work. I'm looking at my deep sadness and anxiety with different eyes and with that comes... well a lot of sadness and anxiety , but also freedom.

One of my biggest fears is never finding a soul mate . But I'm not sure whether that's a genuine fear or society telling me I need to find the perfect partner. It's not really about it being attractive, recently I've verified as such, it's more about not finding the "perfect" person. Sigh, if I wasn't a good person dating would be easy . I'd just date someone and not care whether I was a good partner.

Edited yesterday at 03:03 AM by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

I was doing my practice today and started crying because I'm thinking about the woman I met. I'm once again in the ocd nightmare position of negotiating a potential romantic scenario and I'm so sick of it. Why can't I just meet someone and instantly I know they're the one and it's so obvious and simple? 
 

I said to God "I don't want a girlfriend right now , I just want You!" But maybe that's spiritual bypassing 😢

 

 

Edited 13 hours ago by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

I interpret attraction from a woman as an attack. I don't know why.

[Yimpa]

ROCD sucks, I get that.