Practice Journal

[Oppositionless]

This is where I'm going to catalogue my spiritual practice disciplines.

[Oppositionless]

Nondual Breathwork Routine

 

Stage 1) Charging ⚡️ (Energize and Cleanse)

Holotropic Breathing (10-12) minutes laying down.

Rest (10-12) minutes in shivasana.

 

Stage 2) Directing 🌟 (Raise Prana)

Kriya Pranayama 6-12-16 rounds 

Meditation 10-20 minutes "Do Nothing / Absorption "

 

Stage 3) Balancing ⚖️

Nadi Shodhana (Alternate nostril breathing) ~6 minutes 

Go for a walk 

 

 

[Oppositionless]

@Oppositionless this is a two to three day a week practice for me. I'm super sensitive to breathwork and kriya so I don't do it nearly as much as Leo advocates . On off days I'm just doing basic vipassana and hatha yoga, maybe just like 6 rounds of pranayama before meditating.

Edited February 11 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

If you experience dizziness or strong kundalini activity (ie uncomfortable jolts up the spine) , take a break . Pushing through discomfort is associated with destabilization , anxiety and rebound depression , in my experience. 

Edited February 11 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

Until I know for sure that I'm awake I'm going to assume I'm not. I've previously said I know I'm God, which is true , but that doesn't mean I'm awake, awakening is way deeper than just realizing you're God at some level, it's the total embodiment of that realization and the end of identifying with the body or the mind .

[Oppositionless]

At the risk of derailing this journal I'll say that, for me, physical exercise and in particular pushing my body to its absolute limit is a spiritual practice.

 I find lifting weights in the normal "body builder" way  really boring and not very challenging . Im not consistent, not because it's too hard but because its too easy. Makes sense as my background is high school cross country , track (800, 400) and wrestling. When I started doing hatha yoga , particularly vinayasa, I got like 80% of the burn I got from my high school sports , in addition to boosting my meditation.

Hardcore meditation retreats, such as vipassana or zen sesshin, are another way , a different type of physical exhaustion but exhaustion nonetheless. I like doing things in a group because it's so easy to chicken out by myself . I intend to return to the monastery sometime this year for another sesshin. 
 

I would say, for physical practices it's good to push through discomfort (not sharp pain). For energy practices don't push through discomfort , it'll fuck you up.

Edited Wednesday at 11:14 PM by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

I touched on this briefly in my OCD thread but I've been experimenting with humiliation practice. This is a somewhat unconventional practice but it's semi common among zen monks. 
 

Having my profile as a woman picture was a pretty extreme version, I opted out of the full month I planned because I realized there's a fine line between this type of work and self-harm. 
 

What I'm doing now is gentler, I'm just doing spiritual practices in public. It started with alternate nostril breathing at work, next will be meditating in a public park when lots of people are around. I anticipate massive resistance but not the obsessive spiraling that occured with the previous experiment.

Edited Thursday at 09:19 PM by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

Nondual Breathwork Routine (updated)

 

Stage 1) Charging ⚡️ (Energize and Cleanse)

Holotropic Breathing (6-10) minutes laying down.

Rest (6-10) minutes in shivasana.

 

Stage 2) Directing 🌟 (Raise Prana)

Kriya Pranayama 6-12-18 rounds 

Meditation 10-20 minutes "Do Nothing / Absorption "

 

Stage 3) Balancing ⚖️

Nadi Shodhana (Alternate nostril breathing) ~4+ minutes 
Maha Mudra 1-2-3 rounds 

(optional) kneeling meditation ~2+ minutes 

(optional) legs up the wall ~2+ minutes 

Go for a walk 

 

 

these practices are 

1) a way to awaken quickly 

2) a way to feel super sexy 

Edited Friday at 06:32 AM by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

Crown awakening : The Absolute . No self and no creation. 
 

Third eye awakening : Boundless consciousness. Self creation and world creation. "Solipsism."

 

Heart awakening : Unconditional love and bliss, integration of the masculine and feminine.

[Oppositionless]

So Hum (walking version)
This is a version of the classic So Hum technique adapted as a walking meditation . It's extremely simple. Stevens has a similar one but this is different from that. *

Walk at a comfortable pace . If you feel restless try walking slowly , if you feel lethargic try walking faster. 

The chants will be synchronized to the footfalls. You can take a few minutes to pay attention to the breath first if it's hard to pay attention to the feet.

As the left foot strikes the ground feel into the sensation and mentally chant "So" in the left foot. As the right foot strikes the ground mentally chant "Hum" in the right foot.

 Really feel into the strike—pressure, texture of sand/grass/pavement, subtle vibration up the leg. The mantra becomes almost secondary.

 

*Stevens' version is synchronized to the breath . "So Hum" means "I am That."

The purpose of this practice is to ground the massive amount of energy the breathwork routine cultivates, and thereby purify the lower chakras , bringing God into your whole body.

Edited Friday at 10:57 PM by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

Okay it's become apparent in the last couple days that there's actually no rush and doing these advanced techniques isn't necessary for me at the moment . I felt the terror of death last night and again this morning , the contact with the void , the flickering of the self, and realized I don't actually want to die . Not this young , not yet, and definitely not "as fast as possible."
 

What I want to do now is lean into feeling embodied , loving and sexy. I want to become a male baddie. Lots of walks and body based yoga ahead.

Edited Saturday at 10:28 PM by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

I'm feeling really destabilized at the moment . I experience periods of deep peace followed by crashes, and my ocd is nagging me to do more kriya even though I told myself I was taking a break to integrate. 
 

No more kriya right now, period . Not until these ups and downs settle.

[Oppositionless]

It's bittersweet to see a YouTube thumbnail from someone like Bernardo Kastrup or his essentia foundation , because it symbolizes the person I was just a few months ago. The person without the direct encounters which have occurred, the person who found comfort and safety in intellectual spirituality . I love that person so deeply, he was beautiful , broken and deeply sad but beautiful.

[Oppositionless]

Trying to answer metaphysical questions with the mind is folly. I would know, I lived with existential ocd for 10 years. Still love these guys .

 

[Oppositionless]

I have serious mental health struggles which limit how much deep consciousness work I can do at a time , and that's perfectly fine. It doesn't matter how long awakening takes. I could probably spend 6 months just processing both the awakenings and the emotional and trauma releases which have occured in the last 3 months , since my first 5 meo trip and subsequent kriya experiences.

Edited 11 hours ago by Oppositionless

[Yimpa]

@Oppositionless Wow, I’ve never done 5-MeO before. What was your experience like? And what do you mean by kriya experiences?

[Oppositionless]

@Yimpa it's so hard to explain. I've had what I thought were ego death experiences but this was like a whole other level of ego death. 
 

I looked up the yogic terms and I guess what I experienced first were what's called Savikalpa samadhi where the "I" "stretches" and merges with God, but the 5 meo was more like Nirvikalpa samadhi where the I completely dissolves. 
 

The kriya experiences were basically the same but natural , and randomly . I was driving once after doing kriya and the I temporarily disappeared, that was super scary, when it happened on 5 meo it wasn't scary but when it happened sober it freaked me out and I felt like I was literally dying .

There lots of emotional upheavals and blissful / sexual experiences related to awakening kundalini . I don't want to go too into that too much bc it's pretty intimate.

I was doing the kriya pranayam 1 from

the jc Stevens book, and Maha mudra from the same book. 

Edited 7 minutes ago by Oppositionless

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, Oppositionless said:

There lots of emotional upheavals and blissful / sexual experiences related to awakening kundalini . I don't want to go too into that too much bc it's pretty intimate😆

You can DM me about it if you’d like. I am on the asexual spectrum, so hopefully that reassures you.