I need relationship advice

[Riccurdo]

So, my relationship is one sided with spirituality. I'm awakening and she is dreaming. Yesterday, she said she feels like she is not my first priority and she doesn't get enought attention. I said I will fix that and actually she knows and believes me because in previous conversations in the past when she has talked about her needs, I have changed to better. They have been actually good things she has brought up, like being more present with her. But, in yesterdays talk, I had to tell her also that the reason for her not feeling as the first priority is that I'm awakening, and I was explaining it with the ocean and water drop example.

The thing is that I know my first priority is pursuing the truth. Everything else comes after. I told her that and also that in this lifetime of ours, she is the priority (in relative sense). But even telling her that feels little bit like fooling her, because the truth feels so powerful to me that it is hard to see her as the priority in this life. She wants to be loved the most, which I try to do, but the importance of that is less and less as my inner journey deepens. I want to love everything, not just some things! So in the heat of the conversation, I said that I have been thinking of breaking up. She started crying and asked why. Actually it was a good question, because I realized in the moment that I want to break up so I can pursue truth with less distractions, but I can actually do it while in relationship. She is kind to me and she can give me space to meditate, do psychedelics, retreats etc...

So, do I actually want to break up or not? Well... I don't want to but still inside me I have this feeling of if I break up I can really pursue awakening. Also, I feel that as the journey deepens in my end I feel there will be bigger gap between me and her in our views of everything. I need advice from you guys what should a woke person do in a relationship when the other is dreaming. 

 

[Salvijus]

4 hours ago, Riccurdo said:

Well... I don't want to but still inside me I have this feeling of if I break up I can really pursue awakening

There's a chance you'll just be fantasizing about having a girlfriend all day long. Sometimes you're more likely to focus on spirituality when your relationship needs are fulfilled rather than not. Unless you're inherently a monk, then you could make it work. 

Edited Friday at 11:57 AM by Salvijus

[Riccurdo]

@Salvijus

That is true but also wouldn't it be beneficial to find a girlfriend then who is spiritual?

[Salvijus]

4 hours ago, Riccurdo said:

@Salvijus

That is true but also wouldn't it be beneficial to find a girlfriend then who is spiritual?

Idk, feels like a weak reason to brake up. But it's not my place to tell you what to do. 

Edited Friday at 04:04 PM by Salvijus

[Elliott]

Figure out her specific need. What's her 'love language'? Either she needs some specific way of connecting, this doesn't actually require much from you aside from figuring it out, or, she has some insecurity issue.

Do that, if you're still unsatisfied after that, breakup. You'll probably be satisfied, spirituality is pretty individual, and she's supportive of yours. Your situation could be better for your spirituality, put two spiritual people in the room together and it's two different paths, often conflicting.

Edited Friday at 06:04 PM by Elliott

[Riccurdo]

@Elliott Oh wow I didn't think about that there might a confliction if I have a spiritual girlfriend.
 

Yes, I agree that first I need to improve myself so she feels satisfied and secured but if she never stops wanting more and its too much, then I need think about what to do next. Thanks!

[Riccurdo]

@Salvijus Yeah it is a weak reason, and like said in the other comment I will continue my spiritual journey in current relationship if until the gap is too big. Thanks!