San-Pedro trip

[Porphyry Fedotov]

Hey everyone. I’m currently in Cusco, Peru, where San Pedro cactus is legal, you can buy it at the market, which is exactly what I did. A few days ago I brewed a decoction and drank it at night.

At the peak, I felt like I transcended into some kind of energetic being made of pure energy. I perceived other energetic entities as blob‑like forms of flowing energy, somewhat similar to TV static. The energy flowed like liquid mercury. Just perceiving that plane of reality felt like it reassembled me from the inside.

I found myself on a strange level of existence populated by jellyfish‑like beings. It felt as my interest in them was what pulled me into that plane, the more I focused my awareness at them with curiosity, the more clearly that realm manifested itself.

At some point, I myself became a blob of pure energy - that I literally wove myself into the structure of their world. It even felt like I was replicating there in the form of energetic constructs. It was weriedly easy - as simple as having a thought.

Fractals were pushing in from all sides chaotic and relentless. So intense that I couldn’t focus my eyes on anything; reality shattered into endless patterns, everything flowing and breaking apart. I also saw shimmering energetic snakes crawling along the corners of objects.

I drank the brew around 4am, and by 3pm the effects were still going strong. Time behaved strangely. At one moment, around 11am, it felt like time had completely frozen. I started shivering violently, as if I were turning into ice. At times it felt like linear time had broken down and multiple things were happening simultaneously.

I put on Kali kirtans, and I began to dissolve into dust. It felt as though parts of me were being erased, page by page, from the book of existence and carried away. I seemed to spend eons in this cycle, slowly moving along the dial of some cosmic clockwork mechanism. Moment by moment, particles of me crumbled like decaying pages of ancient papyrus and drifted off into cosmic space.

It felt like a slow death of the ego, not harsh like with mushrooms, but softer and more gradual.

There was also a moment when I felt as if I had ascended to the top of the world, to a place where the creator or the source of everything was present. Some kind of ritual mystery was unfolding there, and then light began to burst outward in all directions.

Overall, the cactus feels like this: it’s a very slow but unstoppable truck. At first you think nah, this is weak. But at the peak, the  fractal energy presses through you completely, and there’s nowhere to escape. What’s interesting, though, is that throughout all of this there was still an observer present. I clearly and distinctly realized during the trip that there was me as the observer and the observed - all this psychedelic madness. There was no total collapse of subject and object like I was hoping for.

There was a brief moment when I saw an unopened lotus flower and felt as if I were rushing toward the observed like a train, trying to merge into an embrace - but I barely remember it, and it doesn’t feel like any real union actually happened.

So, guys what do you think, is reaching a truly non‑dual state is more about dosage, or more about mindset and intention?

I’ve had dozens of mushroom trips behind me, with doses starting from 5gr of dried Cubensis and up, and I’ve experimented with many different psychedelics. Yet genuinely non‑dual experiences are still very rare visitors for me....

[Riccurdo]

Thanks for sharing your trip. It pulled me back to the present moment after focusing only to my work haha. I had San Pedro once but not this kind of a dosage so it was interesting to hear what you experienced