What is Oppression?

[Cred]

In a different thread, @Joseph Maynor said:

"You have to create your own corner of reality where you are deserving, but you also need to relate with others too.  Ideally, this is a win-win relation.  This requires maturity and owning up to mistakes, no matter who is at fault.  And forgiveness."

Then I answered:

"It is important to note that when you are being oppressed, you don't have to feel like you have to apologize to the oppressor.

They might gaslight you into believing that you are also at fault. This is dangerous. Don't apologize to your oppressors.

I'm not saying that you can't forgive them. But if they ruined your life, they ruined your life. Period."

To which he replied with:

"I can see this.  Correct.  But we also do things to others too.  It's not one-sided -- E.g. I'm the victim, not entirely!  It's the Nature of Relation, in sickness and in health.  This is the entryway to Love."

I belive this is a good time to contemplate "what is oppression" and adjacent concepts.

Off the top of my head, relevant keywords for possible distinctions are:

• (win-win) relation(ship)
• corruption
• power
• love
• survival
• victim
• forgiveness

Edited 14 hours ago by Cred

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, Cred said:

"It is important to note that when you are being oppressed, you don't have to feel like you have to apologize to the oppressor.

The root cause of this sort of behaviour is a lack of self worth, and self respect. 

If you notice yourself needlessly apologising; either just for existing, or taking responsibility for things you had no cause in, it harkens back to self worth.

Somewhere along the line, we would have transitioned through some set of life experiences, and taken a false meaning away. This is cognitive bias. Meaning making is a tricky thing; existentially there is no meaning. Humans manifest their own meaning. And we love to do it! 

But it is important to see the truth of the situation; if we approach someone as a child and they tell us to 'Fuck off', it is too scary to face that the world might be bad or hard. It is much easier to internalize and conclude 'I am bad' so we can deal with the load. The beginnings of internalised shame. And then guilt. And then the guilt/shame spiral. Leading to low self worth AND, you guessed it, needlessly apologising. Like we may needlessly apologise to the person we approached who told us to 'fuck off'. We think we were a burden. 

The reality of the situation is, we cannot take that meaning away. They could be having a bad day. They could be focusing. They could dislike others on principle. None of which have anything to do with us. Only them. We only become traumatised when we are unable to resolve responsibility.

Understanding is key. Forgiveness is the way out. Forgiveness is about YOU letting go. It is not about letting your oppressor into your life. Not about them. It is not about making them feel absolved; it is the purge of negativity and the resolving of responsibility. You discern they are not for you, freeing yourself of judging them. No hard feelings. Boundaries.

Powerful process of emptying to make way for genuine self-love, respect and worth.

🙏

Edited 12 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru