Beans & Joy’s Journal 🐯🌈

[Beans]

I secretly write song lyrics 

and sometimes I show joy.

 

Joy wanted me to post my lyrics, but I’m mortified at the thought of someone stealing my song. 
 

it does make me sad, because I feel like I have the bones of a song, but the melody is the flesh and soul. 
 

and I’m having trouble bringing it to life. 

[Yimpa]

babe… Sativa and Stevia are NOT the same thing!!!!!

[Yimpa]

Me and Beans are going to make a Bunny Lego at the library! We are reserving a room for ourselves. This will be a great learning experience. We tried making a lego in the public area, but i felt like we were being a bit too loud. So now we will build it private. This will be FUN!

[Beans]

Just now, Yimpa said:

Me and Beans are going to make a Bunny Lego at the library! We are reserving a room for ourselves. This will be a great learning experience. We tried making a lego in the public area, but i felt like we were being a bit too loud. So now we will build it private. This will be FUN!

Mind you. 
we just opened the box and opened up the plastic bag holding the Legos. So we definitely weren’t being loud. Unlike the man who was speaking very loudly while on the phone at the library. I remember feeling very annoyed with that, but I decided to just enjoy building my lego. 

[Beans]

6 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

babe… Sativa and Stevia are NOT the same thing!!!!!

If not same

why sound same?

[Yimpa]

3 minutes ago, Beans said:

Unlike the man who was speaking very loudly while on the phone at the library. I remember feeling very annoyed with that, but I decided to just enjoy building my lego. 

I didn’t hear that… fascinating. 

[Yimpa]

Interview with an addict. Drugs are no joke:

 

[Yimpa]

Red flag is the meaning of something only matters if it suits your survival.

[Yimpa]

Headed out to build our LEGO at the Library.

Gonna ask the library staff for an extension of time for our private room since we are running late. 

Our room color is Teal!
 

Update: Teal has been taken so now we are Orange

Edited Thursday at 07:27 PM by Yimpa

[Beans]

Joy is taking a social media detox

 

I on the other hand 

am addicted to my phone 

so no thank you. 

[Beans]

 

l've always had a very rough relationship with myself. I use to suffer from an extremely bad ed (eating disorder) in middle school throughout high school.

The harm has ended, but the feelings are still there. Posting this is a very vulnerable thing I decided to do. People always have judgements. On every little thing I do. It's a bit draining, I won't lie, but that's just what comes with this kind of field of content creating. You won't be everyone's cup of tea. And that's okay with me, but I'm honestly glad for the internet or well mainly tiktok for helping me feel more comfortable with myself.

I use to hate the sound of my own voice. Sometimes I still cringe hearing it. I use to avoid the camera a lot when I was younger. I use to avoid people a lot too. Due to extreme trauma. I did everything to make myself unlovable. To avoid even more pain being inflicted onto me. Im a survivor of sa (sexual abuse), and because of this as a kid I really avoided showers, or just taking care of myself in general. I was really young, but I knew something felt really off. I just couldn't put into words what happened to me. So I just buried it. Until I couldn't avoid it anymore.

After the death of my tata (my great grandfather)…
That's when my metaphorical fish bowl protecting me from the intense trauma really broke.

It was really difficult getting out of that hole, but I'm glad to say I think I have. Learning self love. Is very difficult. I was diagnosed this year with autism and ptsd. My entire relationship or out look on my life has changed.

I have a better understanding of myself.
Realizing I wasn't stupid.
My brain just worked differently from others.
It's difficult not to put your worth based on a number.
Regardless if it's the scale, your income, etc.

 

I really want to break free from this mentality.
I am more than numbers.
I am more than money.
I am more than my size.
I am more than my body.
I am more than my gender.
I am more than my ethnicity.

I am beans.

[Yimpa]

@Beans Wow. Super inspiring. You’ve put in so much work over the past couple of years and I am so proud of you. 

[Yimpa]

LEGO to the LibrRy and continue studying what Love is 🦋

[Yimpa]

Letting go of a finite part of who I am, not by getting rid of it, but by expanding my sense of Self to include the Selflessness. For they are One, and Unity is my calling.

Meow.

[Yimpa]

Let’s deconstruct this Bad Bunny

[Beans]

building the lego bunny is difficult to do 

[Yimpa]

@Beans we will do it together  then

[Yimpa]

 

[Yimpa]

6 hours ago, Beans said:

Joy is taking a social media detox

 

I on the other hand 

am addicted to my phone 

so no thank you. 

I only lasted a few hours.

Social media has got me by the butt

[Beans]

My special interest is cuddling. It makes me feel safe. And happy.