Te Journal

[Optimized Life]

17.12.25 

Only 1 variable to handle now, priority shifted again : SLEEP 

SLeep arc guess from memory

6H> 4-5H > 5H > 6H > 5H > 9H > 7H-7.5H . 5.5H 

This is the pattern from the last 7-10 days. 

For the 9H & 7H days :

I did not have any meaningful late caffiene after 10-11AM (e.g 1 coke zero at 1PM max, thats about 30MG)

Yesterday : 

I broke my discipline & deluded myself 

"2nd coke zero + almost approx 70 grams of 70% dark chocolate" at 5PM 

^ That adds up to anywhere from 30MG + 40MG to 30MG + 60MG > so could be a full 90MG caffiene since I had so much choco

The dark chocolate brand is also impure, full of additives & likely other stimulants like theobromine. 

Random high calorie meals 8-10PM 

Late screens & mental stimulation at 10PM - 12AM 

Its these "tiny" slips that ruin it 

My 9H 7H days clearly had clean cut caffiene cutoffs and a wind down 

Now what was the core trigger that caused this loss of discipline : Desire to "grind it out" & inability to cope with/impatience with getting tired (which is expected after a week of sleep debt)

I have to just have more patience 

"Grinding it out" yesterday gained me little but cost me maybe a 50-100% productivity loss for ALL of today. It's a terrible decision. 

And after a week of sleep debt & other stuff, your body simply does just need at least 3-7 days of consistency to get back to full sustained energy mode, 1 day of 9H or 7H is never enough. Impatience and desperation, I am finally learning its limits. 

Quote

1.5X+ reduced daily caffeine consumption from 300-450MG to 200-250MG, also became more precise and aware of how much caffiene I have, how much is approx in every product & brand, and built boundaries around this

I have built boundaries on the conscious level & understand its needed. 

But the subconscious ol bitch called homeostasis is coming back again (especially for late caffeine)

I need something stronger to keep it away. 

 

Edited December 17, 2025 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

22.12.25 Update

11% BF challenge, High T diet & Lifestyle : 

Homeostasis has kicked in hard. 

I was tracking with sheets, I was in a solid calorie deficit + 200G protein daily, hydration, good quality chicken, max 200-250MG caffiene, no caffiene  after 10-12, no added sugar days or low added sugar days, deeper sleep, No Fap maybe pinch of honey or some cereal but no chocolate or binges, lost about 0.5-1% bodyfat and a lot of bloat, had momentum, fixed circadian rhythm & early morning wakeup, less distraction & randomness, less random thinking & getting lost n my mind, abstracting, overthinking,

This lasted like 4-7 days 

Then : 

1. Justifying and giving into caffeine abuse (300-500MG) & late caffeine/late sugar 
2. Sugar rebounds, buying chocolate 
3. Stopped sheets, stopped tracking calories 
4. Even stopped tracking protein & buying good quality chicken
5. More overthinking, random actions, random forum writing, lost in abstraction
6. Masturbating daily 

The 2 things that have managed to stick : Circadian rhythm & early wakeup > this is still there, my body wakes up naturally early currently. 

So what do i do? 

I consider this a restart. 

It's Monday, its fresh. 

I recommit to : 

1. Google sheets, tracking, numerical & behavioural honesty, awareness and feedback - daily, weekly. 
2. No philosophy or abstraction based thinking or writing, 99% action, decisive, quick. 
3. This journal only to track and post results, and conquer challenges. 
4. Tracking calories every day with specific targets. 
5. I decide to give up sugar completely again, no chocolate no junk, high protien, high T diet that I know feels good for ME.
6. When I hit 11% bodyfat, and get my natural golden Tan (= Proof of tropical logistical victory) - I will post a body pic on here.
7. Results, proof, hard work, no talking shit 
8. ^ None of this is "stage orange", spiral dynamics doesn't exist, its a made up model in leos bold head.

Monday day 1 : Failed sugar, WHY did I fail

Already consumed like 600MG caffiene and still felt flat, need to keep grinding, early evening, i was decicing "DO I HAVE ANOTHER RED BULL OR NO" ... Then i thought "oh no might not be able to sleep", so then my brain decided it should take several lindor balls out the bin and eat them, because "its only 40 grams of sugar and at least sugar doesnt impact sleep as much". 

I got tripped up by my own reasoning, it wasn't merely "weakness", its this catch 22 where my body truly just needs rest, but also i know i dont have time to rest and need to hustle, and cant stand just resting, cause i need to make the fucking money and sort my life out, but then also, another part of me needs to cut calories and sleep well, its a mess. 

FUCK, I WISH caffiene simply had a much shorter half life but the same kind of affect, because i do not need sugar or calories. But obviously i cant just give up sleep. 

I hate chocolate man, my face is all sweaty already just from 40 grams. gross. 

Going to burn all these calories neurotically at the gym and compensate and do cardio and weights too today. 

I will fucking cut. 

Worse thing is, .. i might just end up drinkng the red bull anyway. 

I know this is unhealthy, but im dead serious on getting the money and moving location, i dont want to stop, i have to make it happen NOW.

Edited December 22, 2025 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

22.12.25

Introspective Te, feeling spiritual 

Leos video on fear & introspection

Boy did I listen to that like 30 times 3 years ago 

And boy did It not really hit me 

my subsconsious or intuition was making me keep relisteinign to it even though ... I was not getting the messages on a cellular level. 

And of course I would go 3, 6, even a year without listening to it and forgetting abotu it, by then still i had not got the message

but something made me keep relistening to it again and again. 

People say leos videos (especially in the last 3-7 years) "aren't practical"

Well he has a fucking ton of videos, so of course not all of them are. 

But 1-3 videos can be so profoudnly and cosmically pratical that that belief statement is limiting and irrelevant. 

Introspection or the fear video might seem like "just spirituality" when you havent got the message yet. 

... ANd maybe you're one of the lucky few who succeeded in life, due to some sort of random logistical timing or talent mix or something 

But for the 99% of normal humans, success is nearly always bound my introspection, fear, stress, self sabotage, and tony robbins and all this nonsense didn't even help me on a practical level, only Leo and chat gpt, and my own self reflection. 

Now regrounding myself to the day to day 

1. Yes im really getting the message 

2. Im not fully embodied with the messages (yet) - because its fucking difficult. 

I just wasted hours in a fear and stress loop for example

I have to get spiritual because im in desperate situations 

Have to accept that in life to get ahead and be abnormal you have to take risks, you have to break some rules, you have to risk consequences, to because you will die anyway, have to move at full force, no fear, no hesitation. 

Requisite variety, how fear works, Introspection(10-25% of the actual video is relevant, spotify skipping feature thank you)

Requisite variety, how fear works, Introspection, some blog videos maybe, of course some others

I say only 5% of leos work relevant to me, and of those 5% sometimes only 20% of the video relevant 

But leo has a shit ton of videos, most people couldn't produce 1 of his works even just once by fluke luck

Im at that very frustrating spritiual meta stage (still above most normies) but where im aware of almost everything, esepcially after the fact, i can reflect on everything, im aware of fear, stress, how im shaped and run by it, swimming it in, how society is too even harder than me, caged by it ... yet functionally im still just enmeshed in it. But I thank the stage im in, I thank god for this progression, I remain humble and patient to god in this respect, my time is coming and im gaining spiritual power. 

God i will not let u down. 

God I will turn it all around. 

God I will make every fucking day count. 

God I will make myself proud. 

Edited December 22, 2025 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

Quote

Why did connor murphy lose his fucking head? PED aftermath + psychedelics. Both on their own are a russian roulette, but combining them, fuck that

To be FAIR to Connor 

That guy is FUNNY AF 

Post spiritual connor muprhy is genuinely, the funniest guy in the planet, you cant make this shit up, jesus fucking christ that guy cracks me up now

ANd i dont mean laugh at him in a mean way like the NPC youtube commenters

He's genuinely funny in an often very subtly clever way lmao, he literally beats every stand up comedian combined, no one comes close.

He also clearly doesn't give a total shit what anyone thinks now, like I can feel that in his body, his psychedelic use literally dissolved his ego to the point where there is no more underlying social or status based inhibition in his body. 

^ I'm impressed by the end result of this but not really the method by which he got there ... Just because when you artificially speed-run a massive growth or benefit it comes with other costs, but still ... he did arrive there. 

Honestly ... I'm not sure why everyone's overlooking how funny Connor murphy is. 

This guy is world class level funny. 

He's world class level because he does it both spontaneously and prolifically

Stand up comedians are lame, thinking they can commoditize humour and turn it into a script.  

Edited December 23, 2025 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

24.12.25

This week has fallen off and I feel like a hypocrite 

Is it just homeostasis? Is it rationalisation? 

But what has happened. 

1. The pursuit of money and setting myself up - became a rationalisation point : 
2. Abusing Caffeine, sugar, chocolate, late caffeine, masturbating 
3. It's irrational because none of these things help me make money and just leave me slow and drained.  

The fapping is the most disappointing part too (sleep>positive thoughts/beliefs>protein>no fap>diet)

No fap is top 4 self improvement priority, pretty dam high. 

I have a google sheets page of all my faps since october. 

I wa averaging a relapse or a 2 day relapse every 7-14 days, so pretty decent average 

But this week I've fapped like .. i dunno 15 times and daily. 

I am restarting my streak. 

No Late caffiene, 11% bodyfat challenge, tracking macros, 

I REALLY built a good rhythym with this, JUST started to get a rhythym,

then that BITCH called hemostasis brought me back to the mediocracy of normie life. 

Fuck this bitch is stubborn. 

Its time to fix this. 

THis journal regrounded again, ONLY metrics & accountability, clear, honest, daily, no days off. 

Recommitting : 

1. Daily cut (towards 11% BF) with Macro tracking + 200G Protein 
2. No sugar 
3. No Caffeine after 11am
4. Max 200-300MG caffeine
5.  Hit key tasks from early morning 
6. Sub Tropical paradise logistics setup daily
7. $6,000 ready in bank asap 

EVERY GUY WANTS TO BE RIPPED & SHREEDED, BUT 99% OF MEN DONT HAVE THE WORK ETHIC TO GET THERE WITHOUT STEROIDS. THAT'S WHY IT'S A FUCKING FLEX. AND THAT'S WHY SPIRAL DYNAMICS IS ACUTALLY POISON IN THIS PLACE, BECAUSE WHAT SD HAS DONE, IS ITS MADE INEXPERIENCED MEDICORE PEOPLE SEE THE WORLD THROUGH A DRUNK LENS, U DID NOT EARN YOUR STUPID SD PERSPECTIVE, LEO, YOUR DADDY! FED IT IN YOUR MOUTH! YUMYUMYUM.. AND NOW U GET TO SAY! HE'S JUST STAGE ORANGE, HES BELOW ME HAHAHAHAHA, AS U SIT THERE, FAT AF, WATCHING FAMILY GUY, WHATS MORE PURE, AT IT'S SOURCE, IS NOT SAYING "OH TAKING CARE OF HIS LOOKS AND BODY, SO STAGE ORANGE" INSTEAD JUST "DISCIPLINE, WORK ETHIC, AMBITION, SELF CARE, DELAYED GRATIFICATION, PATIENCE, PERSITENCE, HES GOING AGAINST CULTURE" .. BECAUSE FUNCTIONALLY, THAT FUCKING IS WHAT IT IS AND ITS VERY HELPFUL TO SEE THE WORLD IN THIS POSITIVELY PURE, FUNCTIONAL WAY, THERE DOES NOT NEED TO BE A FUCKING "STAGE OF CONSCIOUSNESS" ASSIGNED TO EVERY HABIT, HOBBIE, BEHVAIOR, ITS FUCKING AUTISTIC AND U NEED TO STFU. 

Edited December 24, 2025 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

CALL ME A HYPOCRITE, BUT I JUST COULDN'T RESIST THE PEDS 

IM BOLD NOW, AND I CAN REALLY FUCKING RELATE TO LEO GURU 

BUT IT ALSO MADE MY COCK MASSIVE 

MERRY CHRISTMAST BITCHES

[Optimized Life]

26.12.25

Regrounding myself & my journal. 

No overthking

Just brute repetition. 

Same shit, every day

Honest metrics, goals, honest feedback, nothing else. 

No going on main forum, no judging others, no envying others, no instagram. 

Just targets, goals, intentions, metrics, feeback, and brutal self honesty and accountability. 

• No Fap 
• Top 10%-20% Actor voice training 
• 11% BF, lean & Jacked & tanned 
• Cold approach, be social, daily sex 
• Write a book
• Weekly ENTP 8w7 sx/so Business Creativity brainstorming sessions & requisite variety sessions
• Build more stable online career 
• $5,000 saved 
• Logistics change, put down the deposit, pay the pills
• Pay off my debts
• Regaining my sleep quality & waking up on time 
• Max 200-250MG caffiene & no late caffeine after 12PM 
•  Notice and remove high priority "subtle addictions"
• Excavate fear & anxiety within my body on a deep cellular level 
• maybe 5-10 other things
• No perfectionsim, no guilt, no multi-tasking
• Remember i cannot do the entire list at once, its an ongoing process, just do the top 1-3 
• Maintain spirituality, gratitude, faith in god, never forget my potential, I am a chosen one 

 

Edited December 26, 2025 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

27.12.25

1. Introspection Te 

• I feel lost, I feel hopeless, I feel angry and frustrated. 
• I feel like I will never get out this hole, I feel like the burnout of doing business and the wrong business and getting nothing from it will never leave me 
• I feel like i was born in the wrong place, that money just isn't meant for me, that god doesn't want me to have money
• I almost want to pretend money doesnt exist so I dont have to deal with the pain of thinking about it 

But this is just a feeling, and I know the mind loves to torture itself 

I cant just do affirmations right now because it feels too cringe 

I cant do motivational videos 

Just need to get better quality sleep ... but can I even do that anymore? 

People really underestimate what burnout, or some other psychological thing can do to someone 

Some guy can get a divorce and out of nowhere he cant sleep properly for 15 years 

For me the trigger was not making the money I expected, and feeling stuck 

1 microsopic thing at a time 

But also, I can ground myself in positive realism. 

I can start with an online job

Will it make me rich? of course not 

But because its online, I gain some logistical leverage 

From that leverage, lower cost of living + consistent weather > which means better looks, health, tan, more excercise, warmth, glow, better body, lower bodyfat, less junk food > these all open doors, what doors? who the fuck knows btu more doors, also logistics for more/better sex = dopamine & serotonin boost, another leverage point, more T, more energy 

I just have move the levers within my control, shit can happen

I could even forget about the concept of "money", causes so much dam envy, suffering and insecurity, so fuck money. Money doesnt exist, only steps do

Edited December 27, 2025 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

27.12.25

1. No fap day 1 
2. Added sugar today > anywhere from 150 - 300 Grams 
3. Chocolate today > 3-4 
4. Fruit juice 3-4 litres
5. Late coffee yes, coffe at 5 and 7/8PM 

Why all this? 

Desperate, scrambling, trying to brute force 

is it wise, not really, im just desperate as hell 

Need to change evnironment 

Need to scaramble and get as much money together as i can and also find a room in a new place 

The path im on its feeling like i'm struggling to every have more than $1-2K in my bank account, and even thats a luxury at the moment because I have to pay rent, deposit, food, gym membership, hair loss stack, ect.. 

It is how it is 

Nothing to complain about 

Nothing happens easily 

Just keep going 

And at least I'm not fucking bold. 

God that keeps me going 

God Homeostasis hits hard. 

Im so FUCKING angry about this shit. 

I got into such a good rhythym

I was cutting for over a week, I was getting in incredible shape, like headin towards prime Connor murphy tier, I was cutting caffiene at 11AM 

Homeostasis that BITCH

They say wrath is a deadly sin 

I say fuck what they say thats dogma the deadly sin is sloth 

I use wrath to move mountains. 

Im fuckign angry af and im using it 

Edited December 27, 2025 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

13 hours ago, Optimized Life said:

27.12.25

1. No fap day 1 
2. Added sugar today > anywhere from 150 - 300 Grams 
3. Chocolate today > 3-4 
4. Fruit juice 3-4 litres
5. Late coffee yes, coffe at 5 and 7/8PM 

Why all this? 

Desperate, scrambling, trying to brute force 

is it wise, not really, im just desperate as hell 

Need to change evnironment 

Need to scaramble and get as much money together as i can and also find a room in a new place 

The path im on its feeling like i'm struggling to every have more than $1-2K in my bank account, and even thats a luxury at the moment because I have to pay rent, deposit, food, gym membership, hair loss stack, ect.. 

It is how it is 

Nothing to complain about 

Nothing happens easily 

Just keep going 

And at least I'm not fucking bold. 

God that keeps me going 

God Homeostasis hits hard. 

Im so FUCKING angry about this shit. 

I got into such a good rhythym

I was cutting for over a week, I was getting in incredible shape, like headin towards prime Connor murphy tier, I was cutting caffiene at 11AM 

Homeostasis that BITCH

They say wrath is a deadly sin 

I say fuck what they say thats dogma the deadly sin is sloth 

I use wrath to move mountains. 

Im fuckign angry af and im using it 

I'm honestly embarassed. 

This is humility. 

Drilling in to my brain that : IN the evening, binging sugar and chocolate and even having some more coffee does NOT work, it does not lead to me doing more work and grinding it out, it just double downs on my burnout, and then I have to drink liquour to counteract the tension and cope, it decreases sleep latency and quality, yet no work gets done in those hours, it also increases guilt, shame (especially high sugar/fat junk like chocolate) and regret, which fries and already fried nervous system. 

It's also shitting on my 11% bf challenge and feel like my own homeostatic body has created a boomerang sended me back where I was, i know i did this to myself, but sometimes when you try achieve something and the bounce back feels uncannily symmetrical and unconscious it almost feels like I didn't even do it to myself but some unconscious force... again why clarity of mind, drilling your goal and purpose every day and being psychotica about it, to the point where hitler was ideological about nazisim, but applied to your own positive goals instead, yeas for a typoe like me this is necessary, maybe not for many, but some people just need to go to war and beat themselves like with a stick until it clicks. I need constant audio affirmations in my bluetooth as background noise reminding me of my goals every day, I have to have calorie defecit targets and track every day. I also have to hav ethe goal to begin with. People really misinterpret the function of hitting 11% BF, they think its some bodybuilder nonsense .. its not if uou'er wise enough to see that, the way the world is headed is that people rarely just stay at a casual no stress 13-16% kinda healthy bf and kinda have the cookie now and then .. its never fucking like that, humans are not like that most of th etime, and I am certainly not, my body only works decisively, Either i am trying to look like connor muprhy at his best, or I have to be a fat alcoholic, there is no inbetween, its makes no sense for me, my body doesnt understand that. So 11% bf, tanned, fitness model look is what I'm going for again, I also find the challenge of it so fulfilling, its very counterintuitive to "get energy from not eating the donut every day" ... then again, theres fucking much better pleasures in life, sex, art, exercise ... hell even cocaine doesn't make you fat.  

All these words are coming from me not the internet, chat gpt or some forum ... as they should. Asking google doesnt teach you the lesson 

I am embarassed because I already have known intellectually that late sugar and caffiene does not work for like 5 years 

but its functional wisdom on  acelluar level and also, just lack of introspection can take over 

That leo and longevity guy was t nerdy health guru online, until his divorce and he became a full blown alcoholic ... and he was geninely very smart and valuable to the info space and contributed, but still, he struggled with embodiment when shit hit the fan, he also spent so much of his life in his head, that despite being a smart and valuable contribution (and he genuinely did add individual contributions and insights to knowledge about biohacking, supplements, neurochemstiry, PEDS, he challenged views, he added critical thinking, he was intellectually honest in many ways, he was a systemic thinker) but ultimately .. his body was ruined by divorce, because its like a separate system, being smart like him is impressive but its still ultimately a separate system, guys like that just become alcoholics all the time, or end up in jail or something. 

Edited December 28, 2025 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

28.12.25

I've spoken enough about affirmations, goals, purpose, introspection, doing dialy metrics, daily feedback. 

I know what I have to do, it's just being consistent. 

Not here to focus on others, not here to judge, not here to spread my opinions or get poliitical, not for the main forum 

Here for honest metrics and accountability, achieving all my targets, experiencing the most out of life, and goal setting 

There's nothing else to do in life as a high energy extrovert

I dont give a shit about grand theories about reailty

I am somewhat cognitively relatable to leo, but my value system always points that cognition towards real world action and pragmatism, that is not SD related, that is hormone and innate personality and drive related, which is permanent from birth until death, and this is my core issue with SD fanaticism on here, it's a fucking farce. 

Reminder, subtle addictions - i am addicted to thinking itself, my goal isnt to think, but to achieve, for both myself and others, to be useful, for myself and the world, to experience the most out of life and make use of my time. 

• 11% BF + golden tan + aesthetic jacked 
• Perfect sub tropical logistics 
• 200G Protien per day 
• No alcohol, no smoking
• No late sugar and caffeine
• Get added sugar to 0-30G per day average - limit sugar sources to honey/fruits if needed (no chocolate, no ultra processed calorically dense hyper addictive saturated fat/sugar bomb scam) 
• No caffeine after 11AM
• Low cost of living, comfortably paying rent 
• No more financial stress, pay off all debts
• Only healthy "stress" from challenge and positive pressure, but no stress collapse, no more burnout, no accelerated decay like 90% of the rest of the population by 25-32
• Decent remote sales job, not stuck here for life, but keeps me going while I write a book and master marketing
• My own apartment in subtropics (can start with just a room is fine, work my way up) 
• Approaching women daily, not working all day 
• Creative sessions weekly, write books, use my mind to give value and make money
• Always believe in myself and the value i have to offer

 

 

Edited December 28, 2025 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

04.01.26 

I am grateful for : 

1. I am grateful for cheap modern gyms 
2. I am grateful for the internet and online guides & how tos 
3. I am grateful for my creative intelligence 
4. I am grateful for global infrastructure : airplanes, airports, 
5. I am grateful for all the beautiful women in the world, of which there are hundreds of millions 
6. I am grateful for my athletic, functioning body, that I can freely walk and move around 
7. I am grateful that I can hear, see, speak ... some dont have this 
8. I am so grateful that I am not in jail 
9. I am grateful I have energy and functional health, Testosterone, a libido 

God I take nothing for granted 

Edited January 4 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

05.01.26

Stress, logistical issues, money, disrupted sleep & a sudden ankle injury/or tension causing awkward & slow movement 

I have somewhat devolved into chaos and inertia 

7 day no fap streak turned into 6 faps 

Boredom & depletion and internal slipping of boundaries took me to drinking maybe 8-12 beers in across days i lost count ... and I know how much this acutely disrupts neurotransmitter baseline, ability to focus, willpower ect.. 

Stress and anxiety is back. feel my money slipping away from me, havent even setup logistics, dont even know if i can afford the lease yet, and im not sure im willing to settle to live with room mates, because I know theyll be normies and a distraction, i need my privacy. 

Regrounding the journal : 

1. No main forum 
2. No hate reading or hate watching, no judging others, just doing my thing 
3. Take a 5% gold from leo and leave the rest, no sprial dynamics no "burning karma" verbal diareeah group think nonsnese, no consciousness bs. 

 

1. Discipline, boudaries, metrics 
2. Introspection, awareness, self honesty
3. Goals targets, metrics, managing time & energy, strategy 

 

Its hard to keep going wtih this journal 

I'm feeling the burnout, almost feels cringe, almost feels try hard. Feel inconsistent, feel like a hypocrite, feel like a failure. 

I don't want attention, dont want validation

I want real results and to be responsible for it

I want a life of purpose and passion

I want success and I want meaning and I want vitality and health and direction and progress and creativity and relationships and beauty and art and nature and wealth and power and a life fully lived. I want progress and real results and no delusion and to separate myself from the standard man, who's even consistent across 90% of self improvement spaces, because escaping medicority is fucking hard, because humans are wired to least resistance and homeostasis, its war. It's fucking war. Im supposed to be fat im supposed to be lazy im supposed to stare at my phone and screen for 15 hours a day and barely pay rent and date a 5/10 and be alone and lazy and useless and fat and wake up at 40 or 50 and regret my entire fucking life and then just kill myself. Thats the default. That's whats supposed to fucking happen. THat's whats meant to fucking happen. Have to stay serious about this. Have to stay fucking paranoid, psychotic almost. 

 

Edited January 5 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

Here to sell my art and get rich!

[Optimized Life]

05.01.26

1. Bank account : $1500 
2. Logistics Move - Simply do not have enough reserves, stuck 
3. Income stream?  > Yes but its an unstable grind, but i can push through to $3K and move, I have to do it 
4. Fuel source : Pain 
5. No Fap streak X :  7 faps in 2 days 

 

Goals by Friday : 

1. $2,700 bank account
2. No Fap day 4 
3. Booked and taken a flight, with hotel/hostel booked & room viewings ready 
4. work 17 hours a day until I live where I dream of

[Optimized Life]

07.01.26

Content Te, Information Te, Reprogramming Te

I've complained about "content bastards" in self help or business space who want your money and dont actually help you.

But there is genuinely life changing free information and videos on YouTube.

Videos or information that, I really felt at the time, but then somehow just forgot.

Months just go by and you forget the message, forget to apply it, go back to homeostasis. 

But the key is that, it's normally a FEW videos, that hold enourmous power. 

Think about how dense a stone can be.

You can pack millions of feathers into boxers, and it still doesnt weigh close to certain stones, and its all messy and it spills out everywhere and you cant contain it .. this is how just "consuming content" felt to me.

But there can be like anywhere from 1-3, or 1-10 videos online that are dense stones .. or diamonds

I'm gonna reshare them. 

But, I need to reappreciate what im doing 

Or ill forget

I have to take it very seriously 

I have to keep relistening to the video if it really matters, drill it in

Then take the core notes

Then inmediate applicatino and practice. 

And use Te so that i set application commitments so that its not a 1 off thing but consistenly applied dialy. 

Core topics : 

1. Beliefs, Affirmations, Subconscious mind 
2. Work Ethic 
3. The Peter Ralston paradigm (my personal attempt to approach life differently and see if  it can work in this way, topic discussed with AI will be shared).
4. Some more stuff?

Edited January 7 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

TIER 1 : = (Here) =  Definitely great Information, must rewatch & reapply these  

Edited January 7 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

TIER 2 = Possibly great, worth checking out

 

 

Edited January 7 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

The Peter Ralston Paradigm (Summarised with AI)

May Trim this further, I have 3 separate paradigm summaries of 3 different talks about him (but tbh, each one seems to expand on my understanding, I might re-read this every morning now). I feel like for decades i have always forced stuff, I've always over-thought stuff, I've always braced, and tensed, and self sabotaged, and got lost in my head, and other things that dont fit the ralston paradigm. Maybe I need a different way of seeing reality. Brute force does work in the right context, even needed sometimes, but it's not a reliable strategy for consistent success and fulfillment, you simply burnout. 

Quote

Peter Ralston: Core Operating Principles (Actionable Summary)

1. Reality comes before technique

Mistake: People learn methods before understanding what they are interacting with.
Correction: Strip the domain to what is actually happening.

Fighting is not techniques → it is balance, timing, structure, intent

Life is not strategies → it is perception, choice, commitment

Actionable:
Before asking “what should I do?” ask “what is actually going on here?”

2. Perception precedes action

Mistake: Trying to act faster or smarter.
Correction: Train perception so action happens earlier.

Reaction speed is secondary

Early detection beats fast response

Actionable:
Train noticing shifts (weight, emotion, hesitation) rather than waiting for obvious signals.

3. Remove internal noise

Mistake: Thinking, narrating, evaluating during action.
Correction: Eliminate self-reference.

Thought creates delay

Analysis collapses timing

Actionable:
Practice acting from direct perception without commentary.

4. Structure beats force

Mistake: Using effort to overcome resistance.
Correction: Use alignment and leverage.

Poor structure collapses under pressure

Good structure makes force irrelevant

Actionable:
Position yourself so others defeat themselves by committing.

5. Commitment reveals openings

Mistake: Staying tentative to stay “safe.”
Correction: Full commitment clarifies reality.

Half-actions create confusion

Commitment forces truth to appear

Actionable:
When acting, act fully — even if wrong — and adjust from feedback.

6. Stillness is not passivity

Mistake: Confusing stillness with inaction.
Correction: Stillness is high-resolution readiness.

Unnecessary movement leaks information

Calm presence creates control

Actionable:
Reduce excess movement, speech, and emotional leakage.

7. Most people train symbols, not reality

Mistake: Training ideas about the thing.
Correction: Train direct interaction with the thing itself.

Forms ≠ fighting

Concepts ≠ understanding

Actionable:
Ask: “Am I engaging reality or rehearsing ideas?”

8. Mastery requires existential seriousness

Mistake: Treating training casually.
Correction: Take responsibility for seeing clearly.

Mastery is a commitment to truth

Comfort is the enemy of perception

Actionable:
Be willing to be wrong, disoriented, and uncomfortable.

One-page distilled maxim (for daily recall)

Don’t learn moves.
Learn to see.

Don’t react faster.
Perceive earlier.

Don’t think better.
Remove thinking.

Don’t apply force.
Remove structure.

Don’t hesitate.
Commit and correct.

 

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The Ralston Operating System : (Applied to life, dating, sex, money, and pressure)

1. Core Principle (Everything flows from this)

Power comes from removing internal resistance, not adding effort.

Most people try to:

Push harder

Try more

Assert more

Control outcomes

Ralston removed:

Excess tension

Internal conflict

Egoic urgency

Outcome dependence

This applies everywhere, not just combat.

2. What “Alignment” Actually Means (No vagueness)

Alignment =

Body is relaxed and stacked

Nervous system is calm

Intent is clear

No internal argument about action

Misalignment shows up as:

Strain

Rush

Overthinking

Bracing

Needing results

Strain = structural error, always.

3. The Real Skill (This is the centrepiece)

Not zero sensation — zero cascade.

Events still register.
They just don’t propagate into:

Identity

Story

Mood collapse

Behavioural change

Rejection, resistance, awkwardness become:

A signal, not a blow

Like a cat brushing your elbow, not a sledgehammer

4. Agenda vs Agenda Leakage (Critical distinction)

You are allowed to want:

Sex

Relationships

Power

Money

Dominance

Agenda leakage is not desire.

Agenda leakage is:

Desire + attachment

Desire + fear

Desire + outcome dependence

Clean desire = no leakage
Conflicted desire = maximum leakage

5. Ralston Rule for Action

Act without pre-tension.
Let outcomes fall where they may.

In practice:

Express early

Express clearly

Don’t over-invest

Don’t chase misalignment

Don’t justify expression

This is not passivity.
It’s decisive action without bracing.

6. Rejection & Unpleasant Interactions (How mastery shows)

Rejection hurts because:

Identity was involved

Fantasy was loaded

Outcome mattered too much

Ralston-style reframing:

“This interaction did not align.”

Success is redefined as:

“Was my expression clean?”

Not:

Did I win

Did she like me

Did it go well

7. Nervous System Reality (Why mindset fails)

When pressure hits:

Thinking goes offline

Advice disappears

Body takes over

So training is not positive thinking.

Training is:

Reducing reaction amplitude

Shortening recovery time

Returning to neutral faster

Recovery speed > confidence

8. The Only Metric That Matters

After any interaction, track:

How long until I return to neutral?

Stages:

10–30 minutes → beginner

3–5 minutes → competent

30–60 seconds → strong

5–10 seconds → advanced

No observable consequence → mastery

Ralston lived at the last stage.

9. Daily Calibration Practice (Minimal, repeatable)

Morning (5 min)

Breathe through nose

Relax jaw, shoulders

Feel body weight

Identify today’s “neutral”

Before action (10 sec)

“This may go nowhere. That’s allowed.”

Removes pre-loading.

After action (90 sec max)

Walk

Nose breathe

No phone

No narration

Internally:

“Complete.”

Let adrenaline clear.

10. Dirty / Taboo Desire (Critical integration)

Ralston energy does not suppress sexuality.

It allows:

Dirty desire without apology

Taboo without checking

Sexual intent without rushing

Stillness after expression

Key rule:

Say the thing calmly — then do nothing.

Containment > escalation.

Women don’t reject dirtiness.
They reject self-doubt about dirtiness.

11. What This Looks Like Externally

A man operating this way:

Speaks slower

Acts earlier

Stops chasing

Doesn’t explain himself

Isn’t rattled by resistance

Can hold silence after sexual expression

This reads as:

Grounded

Dangerous (in a good way)

Sexually credible

Dominant without force

12. One-Line Anchors (Use these)

“I don’t train outcomes. I train recovery.”

“Strain means misalignment.”

“Clean expression is success.”

“The event lands, but it doesn’t echo.”

“Stillness after expression is dominance.”

Final Summary (If you remember nothing else)

Ralston mastery is not about being calm.
It’s about being unconflicted.

When conflict disappears:

Presence deepens

Desire stabilizes

Rejection shrinks

Sexual polarity increases

Life stops feeling heavy

That’s the whole system.

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Peter Ralston — Actionable Doctrine (Extracted)

1. Core Premise (1–2 sentences)

Reality is accessed through direct experience, not thought.
Most human weakness comes from living in abstraction instead of embodiment.

Operational meaning:
If you are in your head, you are already late.

2. Primary Skill: Embodied Awareness

What Ralston means

Feel the body from the inside

Awareness precedes thought

Thought is slow, brittle, and reactive

Actionable translation

Drop attention into body before acting

Feel weight, breath, tension

Let movement and speech arise from that state

Daily implementation

2–5 minutes of stillness

Scan jaw → shoulders → belly → feet

Release unnecessary tension

Then act immediately in the world

3. Non-Reactivity = Power

What he’s pointing to

Reactivity = unconsciousness

Being “triggered” means you lost authorship

Calm is not softness; it’s control

Actionable translation

Delay response by 1–2 seconds

Do not rush to explain, justify, or defend

Let situations resolve without you interfering

Social/dating application

Silence is leverage

Slowness reads as confidence

Emotional steadiness creates polarity

4. Internal Authority (Self-Referencing)

Ralston’s insight

Most people outsource truth and identity

Authority that depends on approval is fake

Actionable translation

Decide internally before acting externally

Your standards come first

You do not seek permission to be grounded

Practice

When unsure, pause

Ask: What do I know directly right now?

Act from that, not from fear of outcome

5. Structure Over Force

What he learned from martial arts

Alignment beats effort

Structure beats strength

Tension leaks power

Physical application

Posture before muscle

Relaxed power > forced power

Minimal movement, maximal effect

Life application

Simplify actions

Remove unnecessary effort

Let leverage do the work

6. Presence Creates Impact

Underlying truth

People respond to being, not words

Presence is felt before anything is said

Actionable behaviors

Move slower than the room

Speak less, mean more

Hold eye contact without forcing it

Rule

If you feel calm and solid, others will too.

7. The Trap to Avoid (Important)

What not to copy

Withdrawal from life

Over-intellectualization

Neglect of aesthetics, sex, or ambition

Your rule

Insight must cash out in real-world results.

8. One-Line Operating Rules (Memorize)

Awareness first, action second

Slow down to dominate

Feel → then move

Silence is not weakness

Presence > performance

How to Use This Going Forward

For each Ralston talk, do this:

Write 1 Core Insight

Translate it into 1 Physical Behavior

Translate it into 1 Social/Dating Behavior

Write 1 Sentence Rule you can recall under pressure

That’s it. No overthinking.

Expanded Discussion on PR life wisdom :

"Life is not strategies → it is perception, choice, commitment" 

....

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Good — you shouldn’t understand it immediately. That sentence is pointing at something pre-conceptual, not giving advice. I’ll make it concrete without watering it down.

First: what people think “life” is

Most people live like this:

Situation → strategy → outcome

Examples:

“What should I say to her?”

“What’s the best business model?”

“What’s the right move here?”

This treats life like a board game with optimal plays.

Ralston says this is already one layer too late.

What Ralston means by “life”

He’s pointing to what’s actually happening moment-to-moment before strategies exist.

Every real moment resolves like this:

1. Perception

What you are actually noticing right now.
Not what you think is happening — what you are directly aware of.

Examples:

Tension in your chest

Her eye contact breaking

A prospect hesitating before replying

Your own urge to fill silence

If you don’t perceive it, you can’t act accurately.

2. Choice

What you allow or disallow internally.

This is not “decision” in a strategic sense.
It’s:

Do I lean in or pull back?

Do I speak or stay silent?

Do I commit or hedge?

Most people think they’re choosing — but they’re reacting automatically.

Ralston trains the ability to see the choice point.

3. Commitment

How fully you act once you choose.

Half-speaking

Half-acting

Half-wanting

This is where people collapse.

Commitment means:

acting without leaving an escape hatch

Ralston would rather you commit wrongly than hover correctly.

Why “strategies” are secondary (this is the key)

A strategy is just:

a remembered pattern applied after perception, choice, and commitment already happened.

If:

your perception is dull → strategy fails

your choice is hesitant → strategy leaks

your commitment is partial → strategy collapses

That’s why two people use the same “move” and get opposite results.

Concrete examples (no abstraction)

With women

Strategy thinker:
“What line should I use?”

Ralston lens:

Did I perceive attraction or tension?

Did I choose to lead or to seek approval?

Did I commit to my intent or hedge?

The words barely matter.

With money

Strategy thinker:
“What funnel should I use?”

Ralston lens:

Did I perceive where they’re stuck?

Did I choose to confront or comfort?

Did I commit to a price or justify it?

Again: tactics ride on deeper layers.

A physical analogy (this will click)

Imagine standing at a crossroads.

Perception: You see which paths exist.

Choice: You pick one.

Commitment: You walk it fully.

A strategy is just a map someone drew earlier.

Maps are useless if:

you don’t see the terrain

you keep switching paths

you stop halfway

 

Edited January 7 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

^ Note on Peter Ralston Wisdom 

The information list is good, but trap is to turn it conceptual, like im at school studying an exam. 

I am NOT supposed to understand all this instantly, it only comes with practice. 

Whats no.1 application principle? 

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Notice what happens right before you act.

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Once per day:

Pause.

Ask silently:
“What am I about to do?”

Notice:

body tension

urgency

hesitation

Do nothing else.

No fixing.
No optimizing.
No conclusions.

That’s it.

If you do this for 2 weeks, things will quietly start making sense — without you trying.

 

Edited January 7 by Optimized Life