Te Journal

[Optimized Life]

17.12.25 

Only 1 variable to handle now, priority shifted again : SLEEP 

SLeep arc guess from memory

6H> 4-5H > 5H > 6H > 5H > 9H > 7H-7.5H . 5.5H 

This is the pattern from the last 7-10 days. 

For the 9H & 7H days :

I did not have any meaningful late caffiene after 10-11AM (e.g 1 coke zero at 1PM max, thats about 30MG)

Yesterday : 

I broke my discipline & deluded myself 

"2nd coke zero + almost approx 70 grams of 70% dark chocolate" at 5PM 

^ That adds up to anywhere from 30MG + 40MG to 30MG + 60MG > so could be a full 90MG caffiene since I had so much choco

The dark chocolate brand is also impure, full of additives & likely other stimulants like theobromine. 

Random high calorie meals 8-10PM 

Late screens & mental stimulation at 10PM - 12AM 

Its these "tiny" slips that ruin it 

My 9H 7H days clearly had clean cut caffiene cutoffs and a wind down 

Now what was the core trigger that caused this loss of discipline : Desire to "grind it out" & inability to cope with/impatience with getting tired (which is expected after a week of sleep debt)

I have to just have more patience 

"Grinding it out" yesterday gained me little but cost me maybe a 50-100% productivity loss for ALL of today. It's a terrible decision. 

And after a week of sleep debt & other stuff, your body simply does just need at least 3-7 days of consistency to get back to full sustained energy mode, 1 day of 9H or 7H is never enough. Impatience and desperation, I am finally learning its limits. 

Quote

1.5X+ reduced daily caffeine consumption from 300-450MG to 200-250MG, also became more precise and aware of how much caffiene I have, how much is approx in every product & brand, and built boundaries around this

I have built boundaries on the conscious level & understand its needed. 

But the subconscious ol bitch called homeostasis is coming back again (especially for late caffeine)

I need something stronger to keep it away. 

 

Edited Wednesday at 12:09 PM by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

22.12.25 Update

11% BF challenge, High T diet & Lifestyle : 

Homeostasis has kicked in hard. 

I was tracking with sheets, I was in a solid calorie deficit + 200G protein daily, hydration, good quality chicken, max 200-250MG caffiene, no caffiene  after 10-12, no added sugar days or low added sugar days, deeper sleep, No Fap maybe pinch of honey or some cereal but no chocolate or binges, lost about 0.5-1% bodyfat and a lot of bloat, had momentum, fixed circadian rhythm & early morning wakeup, less distraction & randomness, less random thinking & getting lost n my mind, abstracting, overthinking,

This lasted like 4-7 days 

Then : 

1. Justifying and giving into caffeine abuse (300-500MG) & late caffeine/late sugar 
2. Sugar rebounds, buying chocolate 
3. Stopped sheets, stopped tracking calories 
4. Even stopped tracking protein & buying good quality chicken
5. More overthinking, random actions, random forum writing, lost in abstraction
6. Masturbating daily 

The 2 things that have managed to stick : Circadian rhythm & early wakeup > this is still there, my body wakes up naturally early currently. 

So what do i do? 

I consider this a restart. 

It's Monday, its fresh. 

I recommit to : 

1. Google sheets, tracking, numerical & behavioural honesty, awareness and feedback - daily, weekly. 
2. No philosophy or abstraction based thinking or writing, 99% action, decisive, quick. 
3. This journal only to track and post results, and conquer challenges. 
4. Tracking calories every day with specific targets. 
5. I decide to give up sugar completely again, no chocolate no junk, high protien, high T diet that I know feels good for ME.
6. When I hit 11% bodyfat, and get my natural golden Tan (= Proof of tropical logistical victory) - I will post a body pic on here.
7. Results, proof, hard work, no talking shit 
8. ^ None of this is "stage orange", spiral dynamics doesn't exist, its a made up model in leos bold head.

Monday day 1 : Failed sugar, WHY did I fail

Already consumed like 600MG caffiene and still felt flat, need to keep grinding, early evening, i was decicing "DO I HAVE ANOTHER RED BULL OR NO" ... Then i thought "oh no might not be able to sleep", so then my brain decided it should take several lindor balls out the bin and eat them, because "its only 40 grams of sugar and at least sugar doesnt impact sleep as much". 

I got tripped up by my own reasoning, it wasn't merely "weakness", its this catch 22 where my body truly just needs rest, but also i know i dont have time to rest and need to hustle, and cant stand just resting, cause i need to make the fucking money and sort my life out, but then also, another part of me needs to cut calories and sleep well, its a mess. 

FUCK, I WISH caffiene simply had a much shorter half life but the same kind of affect, because i do not need sugar or calories. But obviously i cant just give up sleep. 

I hate chocolate man, my face is all sweaty already just from 40 grams. gross. 

Going to burn all these calories neurotically at the gym and compensate and do cardio and weights too today. 

I will fucking cut. 

Worse thing is, .. i might just end up drinkng the red bull anyway. 

I know this is unhealthy, but im dead serious on getting the money and moving location, i dont want to stop, i have to make it happen NOW.

Edited 11 minutes ago by Optimized Life