New Chapter in My Life: Habits and Disciplines

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #200 ~ Thu Aug 20 '26

Its vacation day! I'm  heading out on a work trip! Last night, I couldn't sleep. I felt like I was experiencing the infinitude of the universe. I accessed a state that was incredible. I am turning more and more God-like day by day. 

I didn't get to sleep until 4 am last night. My mind kept turning with fantasy after fantasy, mostly about women. It was fun, tantalizing even, but now I am tired af. 

I just got picked up and we are heading to one of our coworkers houses to eat protein pancakes and eggs and drink coffee. I am excited for that. Hopefully the coffee and food will wake me up. 

I'm so tired I can't even think straight.  But I am here to have fun. 

 

Is this what it feels like to have everyone want you? I have to hurt someone. Or maybe not. Everyone wants my attention. Do I have enough to give? This is fear talking. This is insecurity. Of course you have enough to give. 

 

These women are all over me this weekend. Is this real? Do they actually like me or do they just enjoy the attention that I'm giving them. But isn't that what I enjoy as well is the attention that they give me? Of course. Of course you do so don't be a hypocrite. 

 

I can see myself becoming more God like every second of every day. I am allowing myself to zoom out and think big picture. What is the best thing for everyone, in the here and now and for the future. I'm doing well, don't get that twisted.

 

What else can I even do right now? You're doing well. But I want more. I want to become something, I want to experience God realization, true God realization. All of these social games that I'm playing, chasing women, chasing sex, chasing happiness, yeah it's all great, but the mystery of life and reality, that is what is going to beat the sweetest fruits and I can see that. But then of course, be kind to yourself because of you're not, then you won't be kind to others and they won't be kind to you. We are all One. 

Daily goals:

Shower: 31

Groom hair: 31

Brush teeth: 31

Floss: 1

Take medication: 31

Drink protein shake: 0

Make bed: 14

Kriya yoga: 0 

No porn: 4

No ejaculation: 4

Eat 150 g of protein: 3

No electronics after 11pm: 5

Brush teeth before bed: 4

Wash face before bed: 4

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 2 (☑️☑️☑️

Give yourself a haircut: 1

Meal prep 2x a week: 0 (☑️

Do laundry: 4

Clean room: 4

Clean car: 3

Edited August 21 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #201 ~ Fri Aug 21 '26

Daily goals:

Shower: 32

Groom hair: 32

Brush teeth: 32

Floss: 2

Take medication: 32

Drink protein shake: 0

Make bed: 15

Kriya yoga: 0

No porn: 5

No ejaculation: 5

Eat 150 g of protein: 0

No electronics after 11pm: 6

Brush teeth before bed: 5

Wash face before bed: 5

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 2 (☑️☑️☑️

Give yourself a haircut: 1

Meal prep 2x a week: 0 (☑️

Do laundry: 4

Clean room: 4

Clean car: 3

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #202 ~ Sat Aug 22 '26

I want you to start respecting yourself. Respect your own boundaries. Find a way to tell people when you need something, when you need space, when you're not okay with what they did, etc... 

You are loved, but it starts from yourself, self love, self respect, put yourself on a pedestal. You are important. 

There is a romance brewing with a girl here, I'll explain later. 

It's difficult to balance time and energy investe in yourself while also finding time with others. You want to spend time with these other people that make you feel good but at the same time have your own boundaries, have your own beliefs and stick up for yourself. 

In a bigger picture too, you are trying to become more and more God- like. But of course this starts with self love. Self love equates to infinite love. Love yourself first and love for everyone else will follow. 

The biggest problem with becoming romantic with someone is there is now an attachment to that person, you have an egoic attachment to their attention, you want them to want you, you want to spend time with them, they affecting your emotional state, etc.... this is all a challenge though of course, regulating those emotions and becoming aware of the egos attachment towards this person. 

Okay, I need to get my kriya yoga in, I love to procrastinate. 

*

I did have a really good session of kriya yoga, it really is such a god send. It makes me aware of what's going on around me. 

I really want to start showering as soon as I wake up and then getting right into kriya yoga and then getting ready for my day. 

What would that look like? 

1. Wake up at 8 am

2. Shower and groom 

3. 8:30 practice kriya yoga - this needs to be 

***

I ended up having a REALLY good day today. You have to realize that emotional states fluctuate and accept that fact. 

What are you going to do tomorrow? I like the idea of journaling about what you're gonna do the night before. Then I can wake up and go about my business, there will be an expectation for myself as soon as I wake up. Tomorrow, I am going to wake up at 8:30 am and I am going to shower and then do my kriya yoga. Then I will workout and then eat breakfast. 

When I get back on Sunday, I am going to give myself a haircut, clean my room, clean my car, and grocery shop. The next day, I will have to meal prep for myself ( for at least Monday through Wednesday.) 

Daily goals:

Shower: 33

Groom hair: 33

Brush teeth: 33

Floss: 3

Take medication: 33

Drink protein shake: 0

Make bed: 16

Kriya yoga: 1

No porn: 6

No ejaculation: 6

Eat 150 g of protein: 0

Brush teeth before bed: 6

Wash face before bed: 6

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 2 (☑️☑️☑️

Give yourself a haircut: 1

Meal prep 2x a week: 0 (☑️

Do laundry: 4

Clean room: 4

Clean car: 3

 

Things to do:

Reach out to Dan about wedding dance

Figure out when I'll be back tomorrow

Reach out to Chantelle about cancelling dance practice 

Figure out when you will teach lizz 

 

Edited August 23 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #203 ~ Sun Aug 23 '26

Daily goals:

Shower: 34

Groom hair: 34

Brush teeth: 34

Floss: 4

Take medication: 34

Drink protein shake: 1

Make bed: 17

Kriya yoga: 2

No porn: 7

No ejaculation: 7

Eat 150 g of protein: 1

Brush teeth before bed: 7

Wash face before bed: 7

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 2 

Give yourself a haircut: 1

Meal prep 2x a week: 0

Do laundry: 4

Clean room: 4

Clean car: 3

Edited August 24 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #204 ~ Mon Aug 24 '26

Daily goals:

Shower: 35

Groom hair: 35

Brush teeth: 35

Floss: 5

Take medication: 35

Drink protein shake: 0

Make bed: 18

Kriya yoga: 3

No porn: 8

No ejaculation: 8

Eat 150 g of protein: 0

Brush teeth before bed: 8

Wash face before bed: 8

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 2 

Give yourself a haircut: 1

Meal prep 2x a week: 0

Do laundry: 4

Clean room: 4

Clean car: 3

Edited August 24 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #205 ~ Tue Aug 25 '26

Daily goals:

Shower: 36

Groom hair: 36

Brush teeth: 36

Floss: 6

Take medication: 36

Drink protein shake: 1

Make bed: 19

Kriya yoga: 4

No porn: 9

No ejaculation: 9

Eat 150 g of protein: 1

Brush teeth before bed: 9

Wash face before bed: 9

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 2 (☑️

Give yourself a haircut: 0

Do laundry: 5

Clean room: 5

Clean car: 4

 

Things to do:

Practice Argentine Tango

Practice Rumba for Pam

Practice Rumba for Tanya

Practice cha cha intro for Tanya

Practice Swing intro for Pam

Call Pam to figure out Friday

Change oil (I can't get my hood open)

Figure out a better way to track schedule

Cut Liz and Aaron music

Cut Mary ann music

Review Pam Waltz

Cut Jon and Krista music

Cut Stephanie and Tyler music

Cut Tyler and Amanda music

Call Tyler and Amanda to confirm

Practice NC 2 step

 

 

Good job! I'm so proud of you. 

Edited August 25 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #205 ~ Wed Aug 26 '26

I want to marry this girl. I want to marry her and have kids with her. I haven't even taken her on a date yet but I want to marry her. Will I look back at this post and say "I called it!" or will I look back on this and laugh? Only time will tell.

I've been trying to let go of my thoughts in favor of focusing on the breath. 

Before I settle down with this woman, there are some things that I feel I have to exhaust and learn first. Over these next few years, I am going to work on exactly that. 

What are some of those things? I want to hook up with at least a few more women. I have another girl I'm talking to and I have some speed dating events that I plan to attend. I know full well that I don't want to end up with anyone else, but who knows, life is full of surprises. 

Nice job on the habit tracker, you're doing great, champ. 

Daily goals:

Shower: 37

Groom hair: 37

Brush teeth: 37

Floss: 7

Take medication: 37

Drink protein shake: 2

Make bed: 20

Kriya yoga: 5

No porn: 10

No ejaculation: 10

Eat 150 g of protein: 2

Brush teeth before bed: 10

Wash face before bed: 10

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 2 (☑️☑️

Give yourself a haircut: 0

Do laundry: 5

Clean room: 5

Clean car: 4

 

Things to do:

Practice Argentine Tango

Practice Rumba for Pam

Practice Rumba for Tanya

Practice cha cha intro for Tanya

Practice Swing intro for Pam

Call Pam to figure out Friday

Change oil (I can't get my hood open) - lunch break today?

Review Pam Waltz

Cut Tyler and Amanda music

Practice NC 2 step

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #206 ~ Thu Aug 27 '26

Things are going VERY WELL for me right now. I am happy. I will continue to try and turn off my mind in favor of a more conscious feeling state moving forward. Kriya yoga will be helping with that. Cheers. 

Daily goals:

Shower: 38

Groom hair: 38

Brush teeth: 38

Floss: 8

Take medication: 38

Drink protein shake: 3

Make bed: 21

Kriya yoga: 6

No porn: 11

No ejaculation: 11

Eat 150 g of protein: 3

Brush teeth before bed: 11

Wash face before bed: 11

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 3 (☑️☑️☑️)

Give yourself a haircut: 0

Do laundry: 5

Clean room: 5

Clean car: 4

 

Things to do:

Practice Argentine Tango

Practice Rumba for Pam

Practice Rumba for Tanya

Practice cha cha intro for Tanya

Practice Swing intro for Pam

Change oil (I can't get my hood open) - lunch break today?

Review Pam Waltz

Cut Tyler and Amanda music

Edited Thursday at 05:15 PM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #207 ~ Fri Aug 28 '26

 

Daily goals:

Shower: 39

Groom hair: 39

Brush teeth: 39

Floss: 9

Take medication: 39

Drink protein shake: 4

Make bed: 22

Kriya yoga: 7

No porn: 12

No ejaculation: 12

Eat 150 g of protein: 4

Brush teeth before bed: 12

Wash face before bed: 12

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 3 (☑️☑️☑️)

Give yourself a haircut: 0

Do laundry: 5

Clean room: 5

Clean car: 4

 

Things to do:

Change oil (I can't get my hood open) - lunch break today?

Cut Tyler and Amanda music

Figure out where you're going Sunday 

Buy paint by numbers thing

FIX PHONE

Edited Friday at 03:20 PM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #208 ~ Sat Aug 28 '26

 

Daily goals:

Shower: 40

Groom hair: 40

Brush teeth: 40

Floss: 10

Take medication: 40

Drink protein shake: 5

Make bed: 23

Kriya yoga: 8

No porn: 13

No ejaculation: 13

Eat 150 g of protein: 5

Brush teeth before bed: 13

Wash face before bed: 13

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 3 (☑️☑️☑️)

Give yourself a haircut: 0

Do laundry: 5

Clean room: 5

Clean car: 4

 

Things to do:

Change oil (I can't get my hood open) - lunch break today?

Cut Tyler and Amanda music

Figure out where you're going Sunday 

Buy paint by numbers thing

FIX PHONE

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #209 ~ Sun Aug 30 '26

 

Daily goals:

Shower: 41

Groom hair: 41

Brush teeth: 41

Floss: 0

Take medication: 41

Drink protein shake: 0

Make bed: 24

Kriya yoga: 9

No porn: 14

No ejaculation: 14

Eat 150 g of protein: 6

Brush teeth before bed: 14

Wash face before bed: 14

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 3 (☑️☑️☑️)

Give yourself a haircut: 0

Do laundry: 5

Clean room: 5

Clean car: 4

 

Things to do:

Change oil (I can't get my hood open) - lunch break today?

Cut Tyler and Amanda music

Buy paint by numbers thing

FIX PHONE - Tuesday? Need to find new phone first

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #210 ~ Mon Aug 31 '26

A lot of things have been going on in my life recently. I had a date with a girl yesterday and I made out with her in a park. I took shrooms last night and experienced a gnarly but mind-opening trip (I'll explain later,) my lessons have been growing substantially, I am allowing myself to rest more, I've been flirting with my co worker, who I kissed last Thursday during a Truth or Dare game, I've been working out a lot and my physique has been growing, I am starting to take inventory of all of my projects at work, and I am happy, truly happy. 

What a great job I've been doing. I've decided that no ejaculation forever is not sustainable, I think a good balance would be to go two weeks without ejaculating. This allows my energy to rise throughout those two weeks and then I get a pleasurable release when I finally do allow myself to keel over and it doesn't zap my energy too much.

I really need to fix my phone, I am going to do that tomorrow, no matter what. I have a lot fo projects to practice when I get into work, I can't wait to start on them. I've started to write down all of my projects in that choreography book. I'd like to carry that around with me at all times. 

My shrooms experience:

Okay, I've only got 7 minutes to explain what happened to me on Saturday night. I visited my sister and I helped take care of my nieces. She was very appreciative and I had a great time. At the end of the night, my brother-in-law and his friend were taking shrooms so I joined in. He warned me before we took them that they are strong. I've taken shrooms at least 20 times by now so I feel almost like a veteran. What I experienced next is difficult to explain and to comprehend and I really don't know what to make of it, anyways, here goes... 

The first thing I experienced, I was sitting cross legged, with my spine somewhat erect (I've learned this from my kriya yoga sessions and I attempt to do this when I'm sitting down and relaxing because it puts me into a heightened consciousness state. Anyways, brother in law and friend were talking for a while so I just sat there and observed. Then the friend leaves and I am there with my brother in law. We start talking, I'm having a hard time remembering what he was saying but I started to look at him like this poor helpless child that is deeply insecure and that hates himself. This is an overreaction, but there's a lot of truth to it. In the moment, I felt like a heightened being, the friend came back and it felt like they were both looking at me for a direction, they didn't know where to go or what to do. I didn't know how to feel about that. And then it dawned on me that if I want to teach meditation or kriya yoga one day, I have to be that person, that "enlightened" person that is leading these people towards something. This made me feel vulnerable and I was afraid that I couldn't handle all of that pressure.

We decide that we're going to watch Fantasia because I haven't seen it yet. My brother in law tries to put it on the TV but he can't figure it out. He is getting angry and I don't know what to do so I just observe. Then something happens that I have no idea what to make of, his phone starts to make a staticy sound, one that sounded like aliens communicating with us. I mean what the actual fuck is going on?! And he literally cannot shut it off. It sounded like aliens, truly it did. And I asked about him the next morning and he confirmed that it happened. 

Anyways, this freaked me out so I went inside and laid down in my room. For some reason, I started viewing these two humans, brother in law and friend as evil, as if they are up to no good, even though I love them both, truly, but in this mindset, I was experiencing something different. When you're on shrooms, you don't see people based on their background or personal history anymore, you see them based on energy and vibe. I saw or felt something dark about them, I don't know why or how and I didn't know what to do about it. Of course, was this a real instinctual feeling or was this just my mind fucking me over, which definitely happens later in this story, we will get to that soon.

Now strap yourself in because I'm just getting started. I lay down in the room that I'm set up in. Its difficult to distinguish the order of events from this point on but I will do my best. One of the things that started to happen was I started pacing back and forth in my room. I could feel my body or mind or whatever it is (having a hard time distinguishing between body and mind) start to spiral, I could feel something dark coming towards me, it was an insight and I could feel myself not wanting to deal with it. It was death. I had the opportunity to experience death. I continue to pace and I am freaking out. I DONT WANNA DIE. I DONT WANNA DIE. I then hear voices coming from outside, they are talking about me in a negative light. I then realize that I can control the voices and I put a positive spin on them , this works for a little while and now I'm dancing around my room, but then the negative voices come back again. From then on, its a battle to keep myself positive. This right here is clearly in the mind, these are my thoughts, but they felt so much more real given the drug that I was on. My thoughts were heightened and louder, making them feel real. Couple that with what I forgot to mention, my personal history was null at this point, I didn't know who I was, I knew my name and I had vague memories of what I do for work and some of the people in my life, but most of that was gone and I was just experiencing whatever this magic mushroom wanted me to experience. 

I start pacing again, back and forth, back and forth, trying to figure out what is going on. There is something here with me, I felt, an insight that I dont want to look at. I continue to pace in agony for a while. Eventually, I am able to look at this family photo, its of my brother in laws parents and it made me realize something, this, what I'm looking at, what I'm experiencing is all ONE. It is all one thing, we are all connected and therefore, you can create whatever the fuck you want, literally, you can create anything that you'd like. This was a deep realization for me and it felt so real, I knew it was real as soon as I realized it. Thats the difference between that and some of those negative thoughts that I was experiencing. We are ALWAYS in a battle with the ego, or with the I-thought. He gets in the way every fuckin' time. But he is a scared little child. Maybe thats why I looked at my brother in law in that way, I was seeing his ego and I was taken aback by it. I saw the ugliness of it and I didn't want to look at it anymore. 

I wish I could go back and analyze or experience again everything that went on. But unfortunately, journaling about it is the best I can do and it is helping. The next thing I experienced was I felt my body get really wet, but not like a soaked wet, I felt like a purified ball of light that was shining, it felt amazing. I felt on top of the world, like I could do anything. I straightened my spine and continued to dance around the room, feeling the magnificence of this state. Unfortunately, this didn't last long. My mind tricks me again and this time with something even more sinister. 

My brother in law and friend were right outside my bedroom but I didn't know it was them, all I was hearing were voices.  At first, I heard them talking shit about me, I felt agitated but also stuck, feeling like I couldn't do anything about it. They were not actually talking about me, but my mind tricked me into thinking this. Then, it gets even worse, my mind starts to create a scenario in which these high schoolers are the voices outside, they are poking fun at me and they are talking about getting inside of the house and raping my nieces. I start to freak out, I get angry, really angry, I'm fuckin pissed right now. I can't believe my mind has tricked me into thinking that this is real. That these voices inside of my head are real things. I can see the danger now of this drug. If I wasn't as mature as I am now I could have absolutely freak out out of paranoia. I decide that I have to say something to these kids. I'll run out there and beat the shit out of all of them if I have to. I yell to them "Yo, are you good?" in an assertive voice...

Its just my brother in law and his friend grabbing these halloween skeletons out of the shed. As soon as this happens, I calm right back down. But holy fuck man, this magic mushroom is taking me on an absolute ride. My trips have become gnarlier and gnarlier over the years, I'm definitely not going to do it again for a while. 

The last thing that happened is difficult to comprehend, but I will try my best. I started thinking about this girl from work that I have a crush on. It felt like she was right outside of my door, it felt like I could open the door up and see her. I open the door and the only one that is outside is the dog, I pet her for a little while and I realize that she is filled with love, pure love. I head back to my room and I lay there on the floor for a while longer, continuing to experience things that make no sense in physical reality. 

Thats about all I got, I eventually fell asleep at like 4 or 5 am. Gnarly fuckin' trip man, very gnarly, this seems to be a pattern at this point. Now that I'm removed from the experience, I feel grateful that I experienced something out of this world and I feel a sense of accomplishment that I was able to handle it. Moving forward, I am going to work on distinguishing between my mind and the feeling state of intuition, what is the difference between the two and how do I distinguish one from the other. The feeling state, from my experience is much more trustworthy, The mind can cause absolute chaos. To be able to identify when the mind is going on one of its favorite tangents is a skill I will continue to work on. This is what I've learned from these magic mushrooms.

Namaste. 

***

Never mind about ejaculating every two weeks, my energy is zapped right now, I hate my mental state, there is nothing that's propelling me forward anymore, I feel like a slug and I don't know what to do about it. No more ejaculation. Maybe after an entire month, but fuck this state that I'm in right now, I don't know how people live like this. 

Things to do tomorrow:

Cook food

Cash check and get new card

Get oil changed 

Do laundry 

 

 

 

Daily goals:

Shower: 42

Groom hair: 42

Brush teeth: 42

Floss: 1

Take medication: 42

Drink protein shake: 0

Make bed: 25

Kriya yoga: 10

No porn: 0

No ejaculation: 0

Eat 150 g of protein: 0

Brush teeth before bed: 15

Wash face before bed: 15

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 3 

Give yourself a haircut: 0

Do laundry: 5

Clean room: 5

Clean car: 4

 

Things to do:

Change oil (I can't get my hood open) - lunch break today?

Cut Tyler and Amanda music

Buy paint by numbers thing

FIX PHONE - Tuesday? Need to find new phone first

Cash check and get new card

Edited yesterday at 09:27 PM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #211 ~ Tue Sep 1 '26

Daily goals:

Shower: 43

Groom hair: 43

Brush teeth: 43

Floss: 2

Take medication: 43

Drink protein shake: 0

Make bed: 26

Kriya yoga: 0

No porn: 1

No ejaculation: 1

Eat 150 g of protein: 1

Brush teeth before bed: 16

Wash face before bed: 16

 

Weekly goals: 

Workout 3x: 3 ( ☑️

Give yourself a haircut: 0

Do laundry: 6

Clean room: 5

Clean car: 4

 

Things to do:

Change oil (I can't get my hood open) - lunch break tomorrow (Wednesday)

Cut Tyler and Amanda music

Buy paint by numbers thing

FIX PHONE - I called and I ordered a new sim card for new phone - will come in the mail in 3-5 business days

Get new card at L Bank

Set up high yield savings account

Pay tolls

Call Daniele - ask what the song means to her

Get new light bulbs

 

Edited 5 hours ago by Spiritual Warrior