New Chapter in My Life: Habits and Disciplines

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #20

I have hit a point where my internal motivation has really hit a wall. I've stopped caring about sticking to these habits. This is frustrating, but I understand that it is all part of the process. Yesterday, my alarm went off at 7:30 and I stayed in bed for another hour. When I woke up, I didn't have enough time to workout or meditate. Luckily, I did find time to do the funniness affirmations so that streak is still going. When I got home, I smoked weed again with my roommate, I allowed myself to watch some of the "pro" dance routines from our last event on my phone as I'm laying there trying to go to sleep, and I didn't finish the "I have an abundance of sex" affirmation. When I get high, my mind becomes an infinite imagination loop and I find it very difficult to push the "I- thought" back down to the heart.  

Now, on the bright side, I am sticking to my no porn or ejaculation streak (20 days), which is really impressive and has a very positive impact on my life. I've also eaten 150 g of protein for 19 days straight, that is quite an accomplishment, and I can see the results in the mirror, I am noticeably more ripped and its only been 3 weeks... Imagine what I will look like by week 20... week 50... and so on. 

I am also very frustrated with how far I have to go to make my dreams come true. That is the issue with being honest about "current reality" and the "desired result," you have to become aware of how far it is that you have to go to get what you want.. that is hard.

The biggest thing that I want right now is to just be able to authentically express my appreciation and love for the feminine creatures of this Earth. This is all I want really, and it starts with putting myself out there and talking to them, telling them how beautiful they are. On a more positive note, I have successfully infiltrated a world filled with beautiful women, which is through the dance studio. There are gorgeous women everywhere I look and I get to dance them. One thing that does make me special is that I LOVE women, I really do, I absolutely adore them... Which makes it frustrating that I don't have a girl of my own that I can share vulnerabilities with. Now I KNOW that I will get out of this hole and get laid and then get a girlfriend, I just don't have it yet, but I am going to figure this out, no matter what..

Another highlights is that I am significantly more focused while at work and I am in a significantly better mood, which makes my lessons go better, I think this happens because I am more organized in my life and I feel like I am finally being honest about my life and my goals, which frees up so much gunk in my head and allows me to be fully present while I'm with my students. I really do have the most amazing job in the world. The only thing that is holding me back is this girl situation, I HAVE to start approaching women and dealing with this. There is no way around it, I have to put myself out there and move through this. Otherwise, I will ALWAYS be frustrated. The suffering will never get any easier unless I tackle this problem head on.

I am going to go to Boston on Saturday and attempt to hit on girls again. I will find a parking lot that is a lot cheaper and my plan is to ask 10 beautiful women where the Prudential Center is. Then by that time, I should feel warm enough to be able to hit on girl that I find attractive. Try to make this like a game that is fun. I also have to watch my finances and I will bring a bagged lunch so that I don't have to buy anything when I'm out there. Lets fucking go dude. You can do this! I believe in you! The farther along on the habits and disciplines journey that you go, the easier being uncomfortable will get for you. 

You know what is really frustrating... I find myself really hating my dance partner.. and you know why... its because I find her beautiful and gorgeous and funny and perfect and I want to express that to her. The issue is that I don't know how and I also don't want to complicate things, and also she used to date my co worker and friend. Lots of complicated things in terms of that. I feel like the solution to this frustration is to hit on other women because how could I express my appreciation and sexual interest towards her if I can't do it to random women on the street. It all stems from fear. I just haven't had the courage to put myself out there and risk being awkward and getting rejected. This is ALL that I want in life, I just want to reach a point where I am comfortable cold approaching women and facing rejection. And you know what... A lot of the things that I've gone through over the past 2 years has made me prepared for this right here... I have performed over 50 solos in front of an audience, I have danced 500+ "entries" in front of people, I have competed at a Dance O Rama, I had a girlfriend who I had sex with. I've hooked up with my roommate. I've asked and danced with 1,000+ women. I see myself getting more attention from women. I am much more comfortable in my own skin. I have gone on streaks with no porn and no ejaculation for 30+ days on multiple occasions, I almost pulled a REALLY hot girl back from the club, (but I was so nervous that I put the address wrong into my phone and then she said she was too tired lol.) I am being honest about my desires. Keep being honest. Keep pushing for what you want and all of your dreams will come true. Remember, the journey is the fun part. Once you get everything that you want, now what? This is what makes this part of your life exciting is that you can work on yourself from the ground up. You can create and turn yourself into whatever you choose... And NOTHING is stopping you from doing that. So be clear as to what you want. Be very fucking clear. And don't be swayed by emotional states. Continue down your path, sticking to your habits, to your beliefs. BE YOURSELF. BE YOURSELF AND KNOW THAT THATS GOOD ENOUGH. BE SECURE WITH YOURSELF. 

 

11.19.25

Morning routine goals:

• Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 0
• Brush teeth streak: 20
• Floss streak: 20
• Shower streak: 3
• Meditation streak: 0
• Push ups / pull ups streak: 0
• Funniness affirmations streak: 18

Night time routine goals:

• Sexual abundance affirmation: 0
• Brush teeth streak: 10
• Wash face streak: 10
• No electronics before bed streak: 0

"Whole day" goals:

• No porn streak: 20
• No ejaculation streak: 20
• Eat 150 g of protein streak: 19
• No alcohol streak: 18
• No weed streak: 0

Weekly Goals:

• Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1
  • Chest: Done
  • Legs: 
  • Back: 
• Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

 

Edited Friday at 09:51 AM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #21

Another tough day for me, my alarm wasn't even set so I woke up at 8:30 am. From there, I journaled and then I brushed and flossed, showered, ate something and then headed out the door for dance practice. So no meditation or push ups and pull ups so far. I was driving around near where I work finishing up my funniness affirmations and feeling very down about myself. During the "free talk" exercise part of the funniness affirmations exercise, I start to say inspiring things to myself such as "I am going to do whatever it takes to make my dreams come true," and "I am going to make a huge impact on people" and "I don't care what people think about me" this motivated me lots and I decided to head to the gym because my dance partner told me that she'd be late for practice. 

I head to the gym with a new surge of energy. I head into the locker room, I love taking my shirt off nowadays because I think that I look really hot, that is also motivating, too see what I have been able to sculpt through my hard work. I head into the workout area and pump out the push ups and pull ups. Then I do some calf machine exercises and a couple sets of leg presses. Then I have to meet my dance partner so I couldn't finish the "legs" workout. This means that I am going to have to finish it today and then do the back exercises this weekend or vice versa if I am going to keep my weight lifting streak alive. 

Dance practice was good, I was very motivated to make our routines feel good as I am remembering my intention to win a dance competition. It's important to know the reason that you are doing something, this is what makes it feel worth it to you. We also have a competition in D.C. in a couple of weeks that we are getting ready for. Then I had another dance practice with my other dance partner to work on "certification" which is getting more advanced patterns down in preparation for a test that will get us a raise. They both went well, very productive dance sessions. This is from 12-2 and 2-4, then I start the work day.

I am honestly already tired, we have a meeting and then the lessons start up and I teach from 5:30 straight through until 10 pm. This is tiring but fun. I can really feel the lack of meditation as I am doing group class, my awareness of the present moment and surroundings is not at an optimal level. But I have come a long way as a teacher. I am able to go into almost any situation and be comfortable enough to teach. I still feel insecure about what I am teaching when there are students there that have been there for 5+ years and I've only been here for 2. I am trying to work on this, the idea is to just teach them, expose yourself to teaching them, curve into the uncomfortably of it, that is unfortunately the only way to deal with this. 

Lessons all go really well (we are prepping for a "solo night" that is tomorrow.) I had a lot of fun with one of my long time students, working on "walking with conviction" and we got to perform my favorite solo for some of the other people in the studio. I do need to vent about the last lesson of the night though. I have this one woman that takes 2-3 lessons a week so she is a very involved student and wants to get really good, but she comes in stoned off her ass and this day in particular, she was so fuckin' high dude it was insane. She couldn't follow anything and had no idea what was going on, it was as if I was teaching a toddler how to dance. All 3 solos that we have to perform tomorrow felt like shit when running through them. All of them, every one felt awful. She's just like a zombie, no emotion and awareness is at a -5. It's frustrating because she is actually really good sometimes, but not when she's stoned out of her gord. I think I need to talk to her about this, but I don't know how. 

Anyways, I am going to really try to put a smile on my face while dancing with her tomorrow as this is not about me, this is about her. And as long as she's happy with the performance then that should be good enough for me. I just don't understand why she thinks it's socially acceptable to come into a high end ballroom dance studio stoned off her ass... But I digress.

I have 15 solos tomorrow, I've never done so many. This is great for me, it has pushed me to grow a lot as I have to remember all 15 routines. And both myself and my student get to practice being out there on the floor together, performing in front of people. 

Note: I unfortunately only ate 137 grams of protein yesterday so I feel as though I have to reset the counter back to 0. 😭

 

11.20.25

Morning routine goals:

• Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 0
• Brush teeth streak: 21
• Floss streak: 21
• Shower streak: 4
• Meditation streak: 0
• Push ups / pull ups streak: 1
• Funniness affirmations streak: 19

Night time routine goals:

• Sexual abundance affirmation streak: 0
• Brush teeth streak: 11
• Wash face streak: 11
• No electronics before bed streak: 1

"Whole day" goals:

• No porn streak: 21
• No ejaculation streak: 21
• Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0
• No alcohol streak: 19
• No weed streak: 1

Weekly Goals:

• Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1
  • Chest: Done
  • Legs: 
  • Back: 
• Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

 

 

No body is coming to save you!

You've always had the power to save yourself

You think it's over? Nah champ, it's just getting started..

I don't care how many times you've failed..

You were built for impact and impact doesn't come easy..

It's forged in pressure, born from pain, shaped in silence

You get to take control now, you get to write the next chapter

You've got to stop making excuses for why it hasn't happened yet

You're not stuck, you're just scared, and that's okay

Everyone's scared... But fear isn't your enemy, comfort is

Comfort will convince you that average is okay

That good enough is good enough

But deep down, you know it's not

You weren't made to be average, you weren't made to coast

You were made to dominate

That dream you had, it's still alive, it's just waiting for you to believe in it again..

Edited Friday at 10:40 AM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Interlude: Flow State

I am going to post one more thing because I can't help myself, then I'm going to get in the shower and start my day. Here is a video of a man in a flow state, he's not thinking, he is purely vibing, purely in the present moment, words are just rolling out of his mouth, he's not insecure about it, he is in the zone, in his bag, in his element. This is what makes life exciting. These moments right here. Consciously and deliberately trying to enter these states is the name of the game. So turn off your fucking brain, enter a challenging situation and see if you can flow through it. That is the key, the situation has to challenge you, it has to challenge you just enough to make it so that you are out of your thinking mind, so keep challenging yourself, doing hard things and you will feel the sweet spot and the future you will thank yourself for it

 

Edited Friday at 11:24 AM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #22

 

I fuckin love this instrumental from Frank Oceans album Blonde, it is so good! 

 

We just had an in studio solo dance event last night and it went really well! I danced 15 times I think, which is the most I've ever done. My students were really happy and they did very well. I'm excited to talk to them about it next week. I FUCKIN LOVE my job. That is something that I was able to start manifesting for myself a long time ago. I had a crappy desk job and I always knew that I was meant to do something more. And pretty soon I am going to become a "world champion" rhythm dancer and bring my students along on the ride with me.

On the not so chill side, I am starting to allow gaps in my morning routine on a consistent basis. I have started to take off the disciplinary hat and allow my mind to get it's way. I'd like to crack a whip on this right away..

This is what I want my day to look like: I wake up at 7:30 am, make my bed, grab my towel, I walk up stairs ( I don't care how tired you are, don't make coffee) I brush my teeth and floss and then head up to the top floor to shower ( wash body with soap daily and shampoo every other day)  then I come back down to the downstairs bathroom and oil and trim my beard, style my hair and put on deodorant. Then I head downstairs to change into workout clothes. (1st floor is my room, 2nd floor is bathroom without shower, 3rd floor is bathroom with shower.)

Now it's 8:00 am and it's time to journal and eat breakfast. I grab my computer and walk upstairs to the kitchen. I make myself a protein shake and I drink it while I am journaling about my habits yesterday. 

Then, at 8:30, I head back downstairs, sit down on the floor with a pillow under my butt and a blanket over my body and do my 30 minute meditation session. 

At 9:00 am I put the blanket back onto the bed and I start my push ups and pull ups. I do push ups until failure, give myself a 2 minute break, then pull ups until failure. I do 3 sets of these and I am recording how many reps of each set.

When that's over, it is 9:30 am and I can leave the house for the day OR I can do whatever I want. I could lay in bed again and read some spiritual books if I wanted to, everything that I need to do for the morning is out of the way, now I can focus on other things.

If I can actually stick to this routine for a long period of time, my self efficacy will sky rocket and I will feel so much more powerful, I will feel like I can grab life my the balls and accomplish ANYTHING. I can't wait for that feeling to manifest. 

-------

Now it's time to talk about some of the habits from yesterday. I got back on track with waking up at the same time every day. I also haven't missed brushing teeth and flossing and the funniness affirmations since we started. I missed the meditation session and the push ups and pull ups again. This has been a struggle recently. In general, I usually do everything I need to do right up until I need to meditate. This is causing a lot of resistance from my mind because it is the most emotionally challenging part of the routine. When I can overpower the mind and get it to surrender to this habit daily, that will be a real accomplishment. 

Next, I am struggling to implement the sexual abundance affirmation to my nighttime schedule while driving home, but it is new, I'll figure it out. I almost always brush my teeth and wash my face, nice job on that, and there is no excuse for using electronics past 11pm. Stop doing this. 

Next, my "whole day" goal of no porn has reached 22 days. I've never tracked this before but I think this is the longest I've gone or close to it. That is great! You are really growing in that area. I would be so happy with myself if I kicked that habit for good.

Okay, now we have to get into a lengthy topic, which is ejaculation.

I did ejaculate last night while I was hooking up with my roommate. So this is a positive experience actually because 1. I had a sexual encounter, which is what I'm working on and 2. It highlighted my inability to control my sexual energy while with a partner. When I masturbate by myself, I have very good control of whether or not I ejaculate, and actually, I never ejaculate without intent, I am always able to stop myself before keeling over, which is an accomplishment in it of itself. 

What happened with this girl is actually quite embarrassing, I was in the heat of the moment, I was grinding on her from the back and I literally came in my pants 🤦‍♂️. I was surprised at how little control I was able to have over my sexual energy. It is COMPLETELY different while with an actual person because she is so hot and she is right in front of you... Oh man, I got a lot of work to do on this one. 

After that happened, I fingered her for a while which seemed to give her multiple orgasms, although I would like to ask her if those are orgasms or not.. it seemed like it, her body is twitching and she's moaning and breathing heavily. Women seem to be able to have so much more pleasure during sex because they can just let go and enjoy the ride lol. 

The big thing here is that I just don't have the sex experience to be able to control the ejaculation while with someone yet. The place that I would like to get to with this is I want to be able to be inside of a woman for 20 minutes straight and have COMPLETE control over my sexual energy and ejaculation, circulating the sexual energy throughout my body, that is truly where I would like to get to with this. In this way, I am able to last as long as I want and I don't exert any energy by releasing my semen. 

Okay, how am I going to achieve this goal, 1. I need to practice by myself in which I attempt to last 20 minutes straight of masturbation without ejaculation 2. Read the book The Multi Orgasmic Man and do the exercises in the book ( this has helped me be able to control the ejaculation process but I still haven't been able to have multiple or full body orgasms during sex, which I would really like to experience) 3. Continue to have as many sexual experiences as you can possibly have, with this current girl as well as with new women. 

That took a while... Okay, next I am back on track eating 150 g of protein, no more alcohol is great and I am commiting to the no weed streak. I didn't do my workouts yet for the week, which means that I have to finish it up on Saturday and Sunday if I want to keep the streak alive, not ideal but I have to do it. 

 

11.21.25

Morning routine goals:

• Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 1
• Brush teeth streak: 22
• Floss streak: 22
• Shower streak: 5
• Meditation streak: 0
• Push ups / pull ups streak: 0
• Funniness affirmations streak: 20

Night time routine goals:

• Sexual abundance affirmation: 0
• Brush teeth streak: 12
• Wash face streak: 12
• No electronics before bed streak: 0

"Whole day" goals:

• No porn streak: 22
• No ejaculation streak: 0
• Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1
• No alcohol streak: 20
• No weed streak: 2

Weekly Goals:

• Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1
• Chest: Done
• Legs: 
• Back: 
• Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Edited Saturday at 01:49 PM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #23

I had a great day yesterday, I fulfilled on all of my morning routines, had dance practice with my competitive partner, organized my room so that it can fit 8 people in it for "Dungeons and Dragons" with my friends on Sunday, took a nap, and then hung out with my friends in which I DID NOT partake in any alcohol or drug consumption. Nicely done!

Having 11 pm as the cutoff for no electronics is not the best measurement for this goal, as we were watching movies until midnight last night, I think I should just say "no phone after 11 pm"... although I don't want to allow myself to watch movies when I'm alone in bed so I'm just going to have to do my best with this one... But I don't want to break my streak just because I was hanging out with my friends and watching movies on the weekend.

I didn't do a good job weight lifting this week, only hitting 1 out of the the 3 weight lifting sessions, oh welll... this just means that I have to organize my life better in order to accommodate for this habit. 

 

11.22.25

Morning routine goals:

• Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 2
• Brush teeth streak: 23
• Floss streak: 23
• Shower streak: 6
• Meditation streak: 1
• Push ups / pull ups streak: 1
• Funniness affirmations streak: 21

Night time routine goals:

• Sexual abundance affirmation: 1
• Brush teeth streak: 13
• Wash face streak: 13
• No electronics before bed streak: 1

"Whole day" goals:

• No porn streak: 23
• No ejaculation streak: 1
• Eat 150 g of protein streak: 2
• No alcohol streak: 21
• No weed streak: 3

Weekly Goals:

• Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1
• Chest: Done
• Legs: 
• Back: 
• Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Edited yesterday at 02:22 PM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #24

I feel like I have a very good handle on what I want to do on a daily basis, at this point its just about training my mind to execute. This week I am going to try really hard to get the weekly goals accomplished. I am going to weight lift 3 days this week, on Monday during my dinner break (Legs) , on Tuesday before I go into work (Chest), and then on Saturday before I go into Boston (Back). I would also like to have a better handle on the food that I am going to be eating for the week. This will give me less stress as a lot of the times, I am going day - by - day trying to scrounge up enough protein. And I will also go to Boston on Saturday and finally get that tracker started of approaching women. Remember, I want to approach 500 women by the end of 2026.

Things to do this morning (outside of morning routine):

• Call doctors
  • Schedule with Hiroo, reschedule with Walden and Hagberg
• Put clothes away
• Make a goals list and put it into my wallet

 

Here is a reminder of some of my goals: (I'd like to make a list of this on a notecard and put it into my wallet): 

• I have a fulfilling intimate relationship, one that pushes me and helps me grow into a more mature and loving person, starting in January of 2027
• I have a house with a private, fenced in back yard, deck and porch in the back on June, 2030
• I own an Arthur Murray dance studio in June of 2035
• I abide in a constant no- thought state in August of 2027
• Become a world champion dancer:
  • I win a "Future Champs" dance competition in June of 2026
  • I win a "Rising Stars" dance competition in June 2028
  • I win an "Open" dance competition in June 2030
• I approach and hit on 500 women by January 2027

 

11.23.25

Morning routine goals:

• Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 3
• Brush teeth streak: 24
• Floss streak: 24
• Shower streak: 7
• Meditation streak: 2
• Push ups / pull ups streak: 0
• Funniness affirmations streak: 22

Night time routine goals:

• Sexual abundance affirmation: 2
• Brush teeth streak: 14
• Wash face streak: 14
• No electronics before bed streak: 2

"Whole day" goals:

• No porn streak: 24
• No ejaculation streak: 2
• Eat 150 g of protein streak: 3
• No alcohol streak: 22
• No weed streak: 4

Weekly Goals:

• Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0
  • Legs: 
  • Back: 
  • Chest
• Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Edited 3 hours ago by Spiritual Warrior