Does spiritual work diminish your level of empathy ?

[Nick_98]

Hello Everyone, 

I've made this post since I can't seem to find a relevant post regarding this using the search function. My question is for you , Did spiritual work diminish your level of empathy ?

According to google Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. 

I see that there is a lack of statistical research regarding this, so I encourage you to share your own personal experience. I'm going to share mine below. 

According to my experience I feel that spiritual work has made me NOT care , and somehow became aloof. which means my empathy levels have diminished , especially when we say that empathy is sharing the feelings with another. I feel I don't share feelings with other people so much like I used to be before doing spiritual work. So my concern is if spiritual work , has made a direct impact on my ability to share my feelings with others. That doesn't mean I feel like I want to hurt them or any sort of craziness, it just means I feel the bond between me and others are not that strong. I believe that when I detached myself a little bit from my thoughts with meditation, it made a direct impact on my relationships. Still there is an absence of evidence and even statistics that demonstrate that this is true , or if there is a direct correlation between spiritual work & empathy. (Of course I'm a little bit biased about my position)

What about you ? How do you feel about your current level of empathy compared to before starting spiritual practices? Are you able to measure it ? Do you see a difference in your personal life ?

Since we have chosen that the sample that would answer this question would be a part of the people from the forum , I believe that there will be a margin of error regarding the representation of this data since it doesn't represent the people who don't browse the forum anymore. However I'm curious to hear your answers. Shoot your shots. 

[theleelajoker]

At first I voted "don't know".

Then I started typing the reasons for my vote.

After a while I realized it's "yes" and changed my vote.

Compared to some months or years ago, there are situations where I can't take people as serious as before.

As of today, it's more subtle and not as present as it was e.g. directly after last meditation retreat, and it was not like that when I started my "spiritual work". 

But all in all: yes my empathy decreased.

Not as in sharing and understanding the feeling of others. I still can do that, and connect with others, even more than before all spiritual stuff.

But sometimes I notice I care less because I see more the form, more the universal "it" and less an individual in front of me.

 

There is a situation I remember that perfectly illustrates my experience:

Few months ago, there was a networking event, and I got to know a girl. She was nice, we had a really good conversation and clearly connected on many topics. More than you usually do when you just meet someone new. I liked her, but not in a romantic/sexual way she was "only" good company.

I think at some point she was checking what kind of interest/intention I have & what kind of connection we have. Because it's easy to misinterpreted good conversation, connecting etc for romantic interest. So she asked me if connect like that with many people.

I said yes. It was true because I was still in a very open state after last meditation retreat. And in this state connecting and quick bonding happened almost automatic for me in many situations. I could then feel a shift in her voice and energy, and it didn't seem to be her but felt like something deeper talking. She then said: "If you connect to many people like that, doesn't it then become very arbitrary?"

When she said it, it hit me instantly. She was right. Yes it does become arbitrary. Because it felt like I'm not really connecting to her as an individual human being, but more to a reflection, a form, a universal..."it". It didn't feel special. I didn't really notice the "abitrary" effect before she said it, but I became aware of that when she did.

I came down from that intense state since last retreat, but sometimes this recognition of "oh ok there it is, it's just "it" in a new form, it's a reflection, it's not special" comes back. Happened just two days ago with a random guy I met.

It's still nice, I'm thankful for meeting people & connecting with them. Clearly better than not meeting and not connecting. But I care less about it. That's why I voted "yes". Wished it was different. But it is what it is. 

Edited September 30 by theleelajoker

[Nick_98]

@theleelajoker Thanks for your contribution! 

[Salvijus]

True understanding naturally produces compassion imo. 

Edited October 1 by Salvijus