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trenton

Morality, Temptation, and Humor

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I've had a tense conflict within myself for a long time. Due to a dysfunctional childhood, I rejected my parents' way of life and developed a strict sense of morality in opposition to their criminal behavior. This strict moral compass included the domain of sexuality as well as I witnessed inappropriate behavior from other kids at school such as sexual assault. However, although I rejected these morally problematic behaviors, I still had part of me that would have intrusive fantasies including sexual assault fantasies after being assaulted myself and being confused by the pleasure with which the perpetrator acted. It was like part of me had some kind of desire to act out and do something impulsive that is thought to be improper. This is a tension that has been well known in philosophy and religion for a long time, but it has never been resolved in a healthy way.

I started my investigation by looking at the history of how lust was understood in religion. I remembered that in ancient Christianity, lust was not just sexual desire, but it included other desires. I found that originally what we now call lust was supposed to mean any compulsive or obsessive desire that overrides better judgement. For example, in the case of sexual assault, it is not just sexual gratification, but it is mainly transgression seeking. Transgression seeking seems to be the source of much of this temptation.

A serious problem in both religion and in schools is that they often have very uptight and strict moral codes. This uptightness creates what is called the forbidden fruit effect. When certain actions become so strongly condemned, it paradoxically adds to the temptation to actually make that transgression. This is why when religion strongly condemns sexual desires and lust as immoral, it creates purity culture which backfires by creating an environment in which many people in the church are now struggling with intrusive sexual fantasies. A similar problem happens in school. Kids don't want to be there and they are bored. The outcome of this environment is that the class clown will start violating social norms, gaining a lot of attention and laughs in the process. These are both examples of how strict moral rules and uptightness can end up creating the very problems they are trying to solve.

So, it seems that these desires for transgression cannot be stopped with more morality. There needs to be someway to balance morality with this human desire for transgression that cannot be disciplined away.

I started looking at people like comedians. Often times they make various sexual jokes. These sexual jokes are often very funny because they trigger the human desire for transgression, but do it in a way that is awkward, absurd, and satirized. For example, when I went to a comedy club and watched a comedian, he made jokes along the following lines. "Oh, hey I'm going to Starbucks." "why are you going to Starbucks?" "Oh, I'm not going to Starbucks to get coffee. I am going to Starbucks because there is a hole in the wall behind the counter that I use for my pleasure. Why did you think I was going to Starbucks?" The reason people find these sorts of jokes funny is because it takes our desire for transgression against social norms and satirizes them into absurdity. The fact that transgression seeking often takes a sexual form is almost incidental as there are various humorous ways to transgress social norms.

The implications are that perhaps the tension we have around these social norms can be alleviated through humor, but it needs to be done in a way that does not cause harm to others. For example, a more problematic way of using sexual humor might be something like cat calling. There might be a group of men who start drawing attention to a woman's butt or breasts. This is much more likely to be offensive because the joke is directed at the woman. The difference between this example and the comedian is that the sexual joke was not directed at anyone in particular, but rather it was in an isolated situation that was satirized. This is why some ways of seeking transgression might be more acceptable than others.

This makes is seem that our temptation and our desire for transgression can be channeled into harmless humor by poking fun at social norms. I have done this myself in various ways. For example, sometimes people would call me weird because my autistic behaviors. I would respond to this with something like "from my point of view everybody else is weird and I'm the only normal person in the room." Most people didn't seem to find this funny though. The reason I found it funny is because I was making fun of the relativity of normalcy. Normalcy is whatever the local group just happens to agree upon. This is why people in ancient Egypt would think we are bizarre because we are not worshipping animal headed Gods. Likewise, as someone with autism, my behavior feels natural and normal to me even if others might find it odd. In a group full of people with autism, my behavior would like seem much more acceptable and normal in that context.

I did find a way to transgress social norms in a way that humorous, but not harmful. In this case I was in the hospital getting blood work done. I was stuck with a needle, but the doctor did not give me a lollypop. I started complaining about how I didn't get any candy in front of others despite being a grown adult. I complained that this was outrageous and unfair because I had a boo boo and nothing to show for it. Others seemed to find this very funny. The reason this is funny is because I am violating a commonly assumed social norm that adults should not receive candy, but children should receive candy. I started raising questions about why adults can't have candy. Is it because once I turn 18 it isn't manly enough to eat a box of chocolates so I have to smoke cigarettes instead? That isn't any healthier. This kind of social norm creates an air of professionalism, but it isn't actually morally necessary to not give adults candy. This kind of joke seemed to be well received because I was making fun of institutional norms rather than directing my joke at any particular person. Sometimes these norms are arbitrary and ultimately have no necessary moral basis for existing.

A similar example would be something like the arbitrary social tension when getting in an elevator. Everybody stays quiet and it becomes artificially tense. This obviously opens the door for fart jokes that break the silence. The reason fart jokes are funny is because it breaks silent tension through basic bodily functions.

Another example I found is when people ask me "how are you?" People don't expect a serious answer when they ask this, so I give an absurd answer instead. I tell them "I am like a flaming eagle eating a summer hot dog on the fourth of July." There are a wide range of absurd answers you could give to these kinds of questions that are not harmful to others.

This kind of self-exploration has led me to a creative project in humor. I am trying to identify different social norms that can be safely violated without harming others. An interesting paradox is that if balanced correctly, this kind of non-harmful humor could lead more moral behavior by loosening up and releasing the uptightness around morality which itself is the source of strong temptation, creating a lack of inner harmony. However, it becomes risky if the joke is directed at a specific person, as this often becomes sexual harassment. This kind of behavior then does not get taken seriously because it is dismissed as just a joke or boys being boys when it actually is harmful. In such cases this kind of transgression seeking is not being properly channeled and it indeed does lead to morally problematic behavior. I also recognize that transgression seeking is common in issues like political correctness with conservatives being more likely to use racial slurs or dead name transgender people simply because it is that easy to cause an uproar by the leftist snowflakes. Once again, this is humor at someone else's expense which makes it morally problematic.

What do you think about these reflections on morality, temptation, and humor? Are you able to identify any social norms that can safely be violated in a humorous way without harming others?

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Also notice when you say "from my point of view everybody else is weird and I'm the only normal person in the room." Most people didn't seem to find this funny though. You are attacking them. The people dont care how weird you are but you reversed it and made an attack back on however many people were there thats why they didnt find it funny. If you made the starbucks joke there they might have found it funny. Like hey you are weird, yea I get blowjobs from starbucks, maybe a pity laugh.

They start the attack and if you attack back then they know you arent funny and you are serious. You are serious but want to be funny and a weird thing happens where life glitches out. You are probably better to say fuck off in that situation then reflecting it back. Its their fault it happened this happens to me all the time.

The filipinos at work have weird candy and they were sharing weird candy and it always taste bad. I ask if they have any fish flavoured candy ( cause they have fish flavoured everything) and everyone makes it out like im being perveted asking for vagina flavoured candy? I get so awkward because Im like where is this even coming from. Somehow I had to make the correlation that the womans vagina smells like fish and I am asking to eat her vagina out before asking a question.

You are being innocent and they are being assholes.

Edited by Hojo

Sometimes it's the journey itself that teaches/ A lot about the destination not aware of/No matter how far/
How you go/How long it may last/Venture life, burn your dread

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