Value of Others Book review

[AION]

I’m half way the book and I must say that it is a very enlightening experience so far. It shifted my paradigm on relationships completely. I think this book should be on the book list. 

 

[LordFall]

What’s some of your takeaways so far? 

[AION]

15 minutes ago, LordFall said:

What’s some of your takeaways so far? 

Things like clarifying what value means and what a relationship is. How to create value for others and ask for value. The dynamic between men and women. Psychology for attraction, and negotiation to get what you want. I think this book is helpful for any kind of relationship. It would answer 90% of the questions in the relationship section. 

[BlessedLion]

Not sure how I feel about Orion, he seems really disconnected from the heart and sees human relations as solely transactional. Hes like a cunning spider who I would definitely not hang out with or trust 

[LordFall]

@BlessedLion Doesn't mean we can't learn from his takeaways from his extensive experience as a clinical psychologist for men. A little bit of transactionality will help most stage green/hippie type people. 

Transactionality in its best form can just mean that both parties are satisfied and get their needs and wants met out of an interaction. A lot of "normal" human relationships involve a lot of underhanded gaslighting instead of self-awareness and being a bit more direct and ruthless about getting what you want out of a relationship. 

[BlessedLion]

3 hours ago, LordFall said:

@BlessedLion Doesn't mean we can't learn from his takeaways from his extensive experience as a clinical psychologist for men. A little bit of transactionality will help most stage green/hippie type people. 

Transactionality in its best form can just mean that both parties are satisfied and get their needs and wants met out of an interaction. A lot of "normal" human relationships involve a lot of underhanded gaslighting instead of self-awareness and being a bit more direct and ruthless about getting what you want out of a relationship. 

Sure. There is definitely something to learn and it can help pop fantasy bubbles. I’ve gotten solid insight from his content. But I found after a certain point it began making me a bit….sad? And people like him and Sadia - idk- I don’t really love their tone and high horse vibe  

 

And you’re right , lots of human relations are full of gaslighting and manipulation anyway (which is why I mostly avoid them) - but that also largely depends on who you hang around and how well you can filter or tolerate toxic bullshit. 
 

I also think it can be dangerous to get lost in all this theory and mistake the map for the territory per se.  

[BlessedLion]

I also think he’s straight up wrong about some things. He’s speaking from a certain level of development and type of human relation- not everyone operates at that level. 
 

but yes, there’s always stuff to learn 

[LordFall]

Indeed hard to say! The beautiful dance of the feminine and the masculine, you can be enlightened and/or spend 20 years in the relationship field and still not being sure of what to do! What a beautiful game we are playing, love it.