Witness The Unthinkable

[ivankiss]

Wow this music in the lobby actually rocks. I love it when I hear something on the radio that's actually good. 

[ivankiss]

Sadly, usually it's all just trash. 

[ivankiss]

Oh God how I love music. I honestly think it's the best thing ever. I cannot wait for music to fully take over my life. I cannot wait to start living and breathing music, and nothing but music. I want to lose myself in it entirely. I want it to take me places beyond my wildest imagination. I want it to lead me to and unite me with souls that burn with the same kind of passion. I want that thrill, that rush, that ecstasy. The sound of eternity. 

Oh please forgive me for still holding back. Forgive me for still doubting, waiting, hoping, praying... Forgive me for still not giving it my all. For not stepping into the light.

I am afraid. I am hiding. I admit it. I am terrified of losing control. Terrified of making a wrong move. Terrified of fucking this up. 

Just a bit more time, I need. Bare with me. 

[ivankiss]

I will not disappoint, I promise. 

I will create some of the most beautiful music the world has ever heard. Until my final breath, I will be playing, I will be composing.

Music will make me timeless. 

[ivankiss]

Btw, I love how you all pretend that the production of my EP does not suck ass. I appreciate it. Haha!

It's not an easy job, if you wanna do it all on your own, from scratch. A million details to pay attention to. A lot can go wrong. Especially if you're doing it with little to no equipment in your bedroom studio. 

Add some relationship drama and extreme stress to the equation, and your music will sound that much more terrible. 

But hey, the material itself is kind of sort of ok, right? There's something there, that's for sure. But of course, as always, it cannot even begin to compare itself to what I'm cooking in the background nowadays. 

My new project will be the real deal. I promise. This time I'm nailing it for sure haha! 

[ivankiss]

No one procrastinates more masterfully than I do. 

[ivankiss]

The journey begins with curiosity
And envolves into soul-felt questions
On the stones that we walk
And choose to make our path
Sometimes never knowing
Other times knowing too much

Filtering out the bad that holds us back
Take hold of what is true to your hunger
A hunger that will not go away
Plans for tomorrow, they will remain

[ivankiss]

No time for mental crutches
The maker has moved on
I will take it raw and be on my way

Those that stood beside me
I'm glad you understand
Behind these written words
I share the simple plan
To hang on to the way that we feel

[ivankiss]

From rivers of sorrow
To oceans deep with hope
I have travelled them
Now, there is no turning back
The limit, the sky
I ask my questions Why? What today?
When tomorrow?

Won't you join me on the perennial quest
Reaching into the dark, retrieving light
Search for answers on the perennial quest
Where dreams are followed, and time is a test

[ivankiss]

 

Who are you when no one is looking? 

 

[ivankiss]

I don't care how enlightened you think you are, spend enough time around people that view you a certain way, and it will start affecting you, shaping you, altering you. 

That is why it is crucial to spend equally as much if not more time alone, than you spend around others. Especially if those others are criminals and who res. 

[ivankiss]

I'm in Amsterdam, forgot? 

Junkies, drug dealers and hookers are everywhere. And apparently, they all think I'm here to save them. 

[ivankiss]

I don't hear the words that come out their mouth... I hear their souls crying out loud to me. Because I can hear them. Unlike most. 

[ivankiss]

The degree to which what you are saying to me does not match to where you're soul is currently at... is the degree to which you are burning. 

[ivankiss]

Oh snap. 

Sad but true. 

[ivankiss]

And yes, I am allowed to clown around a bit, because I am extremely clear on who or what I am, what I stand for and what I am all about. I am more than comfortable in my own company. I can look into the mirror with a light heart and a clear conscience. I am walking the talk. 

It only makes sense that being this real and this committed has to be balanced with being playful and silly from time to time. Because madness. 

[ivankiss]

Water! Good! Water! More! 

[ivankiss]

So... My ex just sent me a picture. Apparently, she's at my mom's workplace. Awesome. 

[ivankiss]

I won't lie, I was this close to texting her today. But I held back. And now this. 

Wow... 

[ivankiss]

Yeah, both of us are still holding on. But she's holding on stronger, for sure. 

There must be something here, huh? It's been six months... I moved away and started a new life... And still I feel connected to her.