Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

Many people told me that I would be the worst teacher ever because of these reasons. Its true -- but when I do something for other people I tend to have enough brain power to organize way more. 

And some of my actual teachers told me they could see me as a teacher.

Still its probably for the better that I quit, there are likely way better career options for me. 

[Jannes]

I like my new beige shorts. I am still not sure about the pockets at the front but they seem alright. I bit modern. 

I have worn beige before, not sure why I took a break. Well maybe because it looks so normie like, like you are super integrated into society, and 'lost in maya' -- is an illusion in and of itself. There is nothing spiritual about wearing loose white shirts either. 

[Jannes]

Feel like distracting myself, not sure why. 

[Jannes]

There are two exams I really wanted to do this semester but with the goal of getting my teachers degree. I quit both of them right now, so this is the first commitment into changing my degree. 

[Jannes]

When I dont have a path towards where I am going, this is scary. I dont really know what to do, I plan as I go. I probably start my new free trial for Flow Club and go from there. 

[Jannes]

Midday naps regularely randomly bring me in touch with higher consciousness states, unlike regular dreams. Not sure why that is, but I just experienced it again. 

[Jannes]

The reason why I like acting so much might not actually stem for acting being something super special but rather that it is one creative outlet that works for my brain chemistry. When I am there, in the moment with other people, this is kind of an integrated body doubling. 

So maybe when I just do some more drawing and stuff WITH body doubling, I might enjoy it just as much or even more. 

[Jannes]

Went back to FlowClub body doubling today. 

The body doubling videos went so well, I didnt even know if FlowClub would be as strong but it went really well. And the introduction at the beginning and the talk at the end kind of brings you into a social state which is great. 

I also managed to join the adhd discord server finally, for confirmation this time they sent me a whatsapp instead of an sms which worked. 

On the server 2k people are online. Seems promising. 

[Jannes]

Nevermind it doesnt seem to have a body doubling section. 

[Jannes]

I feel guilty or ashamed for some reason right now and want to compensate for it. 

Edited Friday at 04:49 PM by Jannes

[Jannes]

I just had an endurcance fight with eBay over 70 Euros they have to pay me back. This made me feel alive how I stood up for what I deserved. 

[Jannes]

I usually avoid conflict but with the power of body doubling I managed to push through. 

[Jannes]

I just realized that they reason asking for a phone number but not other things is pretty easy for me is just because thats what I have done by far the most. Its almost like a reflex. When I train other things these pathways will grow and become just as natural. 

[Jannes]

Yesterday was wild. 

Its too personal though, despite everything I shared here, I wouldnt be comfortable sharing this story... My brain can be too imaginative sometimes. 

Its all good now though.