Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

[Jannes]

Actors increase our spectrum of love. 

When they play really though roles and find the right words to decribe whats going on inside them, in a way what they do is collect a lot of love to face and make conscious a faceit of reality which is usally to hard to make conscious. Thats what great dialoge is about.

[Jannes]

The moment they speak english is very interesting. From seeing them as different and a bit strange to part of myself. 

 

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[Jannes]

Took a new adhd medication yesterday. Its basically medicinet but only with retarded compounds, so just a gentle effect for 10-12 hours. 

I got a lot of energy from it, concentration was okay (not great). And the beginning and end didnt feel that bad. 

Afterwards I noticed that sozializing got a little akward. There were multiple moments in which I wanted to be funny or interesting but couldnt. Like I pretended much more then usual. 

[Jannes]

 

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[Jannes]

Love the art in this fan

[Jannes]

Had a short talk with my adhd-doctor yesterday. I was kind of afraid of telling her what's currently going on but we didn't get to that. 

She told me that she would recommend that I could take adhd medication when socializing because that would solve my flirting issue where I seek dopamine from the stimulation of flirting. And she is right about it, when I had a longer phase where I took Elvanse my socializing went very different, all the problems I usually had were gone. But also nothing happened, I felt boring and all the usual flirting which makes me feel like I am wanted was gone. 

And the big thing is of course how it affects my remote viewing. Which I don't really know. 

I think I become less sensitive. But it also feels more doable because I can regulate my emotions better. Atm it's  1-2 hour fight every time.

 

Got a new ADHD medication now. I am going through all of them basically which is super cool.

[Jannes]

Imagine a relationship where partners share their chats. They couldnt hide anything from each other. Or at least a good chunk less. 

[Jannes]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

I have way to much built up energy today. 

I was too late tonight to the game night. Came to see a bunch of attractive girls leaving. And then a girl I know quite well left alone with some dude. I knew that I wasn't interested in her but still .. over time some kind of comfort and interest did built up.  I just feel like shit right now. 

[Jannes]

Whats Happening is interesting in my brain. 

Right now I don't give a shit anymore that we didn't vibe that well. I feel like I should have done it regardless. Survival pressure is overtaking me. 

[Jannes]

Cut my beard in frustration. Well the 2mm. It's the first time I went clean shaved for maybe 1 or 2 years. I wondered how it would look by now, maybe I look younger or my jawline improved or something. Well no, turns out my beard was already very well groomed and clean shaved doesn't look well on me.