Severe + Frequent Mood Swings - Lost

[Noah]

Hey everyone, I'm Noah, and this is my first time posting on this forum. I'm not a good writer and I'll keep this as short as possible, as I don't want to waste your time.  

So I am in my 3rd (junior) year or high school, I just turned 17 last week. About one year ago I started to find videos online about personal development, spiritual growth, and related topics (which is how I ended up finding Leo’s videos more recently). This stuff blew my world open, my entire perspective on life changed and opened up, and I started to realize how much I don’t know and how unaware I was. I felt an incredibly intense sense of excitement for a while, but I lost that. I feel like I let high school drag me down (completely my fault), but at the same time, I feel like I’ve grown more than I ever have before.  However I’m living in fear; recently I came to a realization as to what my greatest fear is: the butterfly effect.  I am fairly aware of every action I take, but to an extent that I don’t think is healthy.  I’m constantly thinking and analyzing every tiny action I take and how it could have a profound effect on my future.

The main reason I'm posting here is because I have been going through this really weird phase lately, and I’m very lost and confused, for lack of better words. Being a teenager, I naturally have mood swings, but I think what I have is different.  In the course of a normal day, I would say I switch my entire attitude roughly 4-5 times times, and it’s not just slight shifts in how I’m feeling, it’s going from feeling a sense of serenity, humbleness, motivation, inspiration and excitement one minute, and the next (literally) I have a sinking feeling of depression, severe uncomfortableness anxiety, fear, and loneliness.  I feel like this state of flux has been draining me of energy, leaving a void that I don't know how to fix. This has really been messing me up, and I would really appreciate if some of you would give your thoughts as to what could be going on, or maybe you can even relate to my experience and share yours.

Thanks for reading:) and sorry if my thoughts are jumbled

Edited May 4, 2017 by Noah

[Dan Arnautu]

You will have phases like that until your psyche fully develops (until you are about 21). There are a lot of changes happening with your body and mind, hormonal and what not. 

The only thing you can do is watch the mood swings from a 3rd eye view and don't judge them and react to them. Become like a hyperconductor. Of course it's easy for me to say that, but what do you do in an actual panic attack? I don't think you would really mind the mood swings if they did not include negative emotions.

If you start to panic, inhale to a count of 5, hold your breath to a count of 5 and exhale to a count of 5, and repeat that on and on with your hand on your heartbeat until it starts to really slows down (if it takes 10 minutes or more, so be it).

Also, as much as meditation brings bad stuff to the surface, in the same way it starts to prolong your states of equanimity (a nonreactive state to your emotions) and that also usually comes with an underlying calmness.

Do ”Take 10” from Headspace (you can find it on google) and see how it affects your mood. In 10 days you can come back here and give a report.

Edited May 4, 2017 by Dan Arnautu

[ajasatya]

@Noah hello! i've been there.

this was my solution:

• i started practicing yoga with good teachers that taught asanas and pranayamas
• i started meditating every monday in a zen sangha and i implemented the meditative mental attitude throughout the day

these practices filled me with contentment and wisdom.