🌄☀️

[Sabth]

In reality my father was calling me to open the front door but I didn’t wake up, I was sleeping and only see my phone later that day. 

[Sabth]

I wish, I would be able to have a fit and toned body. Be able to workout, jog, & etc

[Sabth]

My grandpa is dying so we're going to visit him. 

[Sabth]

Life is chaos...   Idk..  life is chaotic. 

[Sabth]

I am so sick and tired. Because I didn't sleep last night.

[Sabth]

Yay my grandfather aren't sick~

Edited August 31, 2024 by Sabth

[Sabth]

Why was my grandfather tied to the bed? And he wasn't allowed to talk. I just think that he would be better if he could be free. 

He couldn't even go to his own house. ("Because it had the memories of my late grandma.")

[Sabth]

There was also a time when I felt like , it was better to be in the hospital forever instead of home cuz I no longer had anything left. 

 

Because my mom would threaten me to put me back inside. 

Oh . Good. 

Edited August 31, 2024 by Sabth

[Sabth]

Everything would have a reason. I didn't wanna go because my parents aren't there. They're not going. They're in another state. And who are they without my parents? So I don't wanna go. But my parents sent me and my younger brother to go. But I don't wanna. I still remember that my grandma still want me to go. To go with her. But who are they without my parents? I felt uncomfortable so I don't wanna go. Apart from that, I am in a mess. I came here to clear up my stuff. So there is this one room full of mess. Like a big real mess. And I'm in it. I can't go. I can't leave it like this. Or I will miss my flight. The reason I'm here is to clear up my mess. So I didn't go. I can't go like this. And my parents can't put this responsibilities on me. That should be them. Not me. I ain't no their parents. So if you don't go I wouldn't. This is what happened back then. 

.

And another one, we had a fight. It's cruel. I certainly couldn't. And they know it . But it was my fault . All my fault. No one can tell you to do anything if you don't do it. It's you. In the end it's all your decision. 

I am already crumbling. 

Edited August 31, 2024 by Sabth

[Sabth]

There was a time when my teacher died. And my mom won't let me see her. For the last time. Instead, she bring my sister and told me to walk. She bring my sister and herself. When they had nothing to do with each other. It wasn't her teacher its my , teacher. 

I don't know how, in her end life , she became close into my mom's group or circle. aka(*Cult*). Hehe . Nah. 

I wish I would have met her when everybody does. During her last moments. 

Edited August 31, 2024 by Sabth

[Sabth]

I wish I can re-play this forever and forever. 

I wish I can stay with my grandpa in the last two days. 

Edited September 2, 2024 by Sabth

[Sabth]

 

 

*I wonder if he can be mummified.*

[Sabth]

.

Edited September 2, 2024 by Sabth

[Sabth]

I can't sleep. I can't sleep at all. 

Wide awake. 

[Sabth]

It's weird that I don't get nightmares when I'm here.  (Again)

And my dreams these days are a dream that I tend to forget . No longer a strong vivid dream. Idk. 

[Sabth]

8:10AM

I do not, wanna go back in time. I wanna reach new heights upon new heights. Do not wanna regressed or going back .

[Sabth]

أَوْ كَظُلُمَـٰتٍۢ فِى بَحْرٍۢ لُّجِّىٍّۢ يَغْشَىٰهُ مَوْجٌۭ مِّن فَوْقِهِۦ مَوْجٌۭ مِّن فَوْقِهِۦ سَحَابٌۭ ۚ ظُلُمَـٰتٌۢ بَعْضُهَا فَوْقَ بَعْضٍ إِذَآ أَخْرَجَ يَدَهُۥ لَمْ يَكَدْ يَرَىٰهَا ۗ وَمَن لَّمْ يَجْعَلِ ٱللَّهُ لَهُۥ نُورًۭا فَمَا لَهُۥ مِن نُّورٍ ٤٠

[Sabth]

I dream that my mom is the thief who steal my things. And I cut her clothe and her hair. 
 

There are , actually a more serious things happening in my life now. 

[Sabth]

I got so many dreams , I wonder if I should write it, 

[Sabth]

I should probably be mindful of what I put in my body. 
What I eat and what I see and what I hear/listen to. Because I got a bad dream last night. (Today) I should probably not eat any of my sibling’s cook. I should probably eat only my mom’s cook or other professional’s cook. Or better yet not anyone. Idk. My bro made a pizza last night and I decided to try it. Or, if it wasn’t that, probably what I see. It’s very important to only be with those with good energy. Or high. 
 

So glad that it was just a dream. I can forget about it. 

Edited September 10, 2024 by Sabth